Str8Chaos74

Went on a big bender, girlfriend just broke up with me and we live together. Have nowhere to go, no bed nothing. Supposed to start a new job and feel like crap. Been crying all day. Have had a year sober before. I am sick of losing, I have an ego that gets me in trouble when it comes to the drink. Sorry if this does not make much sense, just out of my head depressed. I get it together then think I can have a few and everything eventually goes to $#@!. Don't' play golf anymore or do things I enjoy. I think it very stressful to be like this, feeling like garbage, the manipulation, the lies. Just want to simplify my life, or actually have one sober. I have had enough. Scared I am going to have a seizure. This sucks.

Thank you for listening.

Tooshabby

That sounds like a hard space to be in. Are you worried you may have a seizure due to withdrawals? Maybe you should get some medical advice - that could be dangerous, as I'm sure you are aware.

You can turn this around. Just take it step by step. First thing is getting through the initial few days. Stick close to SR and keep posting :-)

Madmartigan

If you think you are in danger of having a seizure see a doctor. Deal with the rest later. Sobering up safely needs to be your first priority.

ScottFromWI

Welcome back Str8. First off, if you are concerned about seizures please see a doctor or the ER as soon as possibly. While rare they are possible and it's best to be safe.

Regarding your situation, you could possibly check with your local chapter of the Salvation Army...some actually offer detox programs at little or no cost, and could also offer a bed for a night or two if you cannot find another option.

The depression and garbage feeling is most likely in part caused by your drinking....and there is a way out.

IOAA2

Hi.
I/we alcoholics have a tendency to stir up the pot when it needs no stirring and as a result situations seem to fall apart when we pick up the first drink. This can happen on good or not so good days along with days having small bumps on our path.

Staying sober requires more than just not drinking, it’s work that includes changing the reasons we drank and that certainly doesn’t happen overnight no matter what path we choose to recover.

A couple valuable words I got that fit years later: KEEP COMING.

BE WELL

advbike

Welcome. This place offers a lot of support. If you need more, go to AA. Do what you have to do to not take that next drink. It's that simple. No need to overprocess things. Don't listen to your ego. Mine tells me all kinds of stories.

bullmas

Str8
It would seem after reading your post :
that your somewhere in between seeing a Doctor or in need of an ER visit,
point being , medical professionals can help, even though the advice may not be well received , at least you will have the cold hard facts!

Cheers

Dee74

Lots of good advice here - and I agree - please see a Dr if you're concerned about seizures or anything else.

As to the living sober and cleaning up the mess- it's not a great job but it absolutely can be done.

Find the right level and right kind of support - and use it.
Be prepared to make changes to your life - if you can;t play golf because of the 19th hole why not find some sober golf buddies ?

Life changes when we get sober, for sure but fun and enjoyment don;t need to end - you just need to get used to thinking outside the 'drinking= fun' box

and messes - we can clean those up too - give it time, man.

I'm glad you made it back Str8

D

teatreeoil007

You are right to be on the lookout for seizures with alcohol withdrawl.
Can you get yourself to a hospital if you needed to? Take care...you'll get through this.

Str8Chaos74

Thank you everyone for the replies. I have barley eaten in a few days but have been drinking lots of water. I did drink a 6 beers yesterday to try and taper . I know this is not the best idea but I am NOT drinking anymore.

My last one was last night at 8:00 P.M. I am urinating constantly which seems unusual. I am going to get some gatorade and try and eat some soup and take some vitamins.

I cant afford the ER so I just have to do it at home. Start my new job on Monday, which I think gives me enough time to feel human. I think a lot of it is just mental and I try and distract my self or rest seems to be working. I don't drink every day, but have gone 4 -6 days sober then 3 day bender rinse and repeat. Usually I fell fine after a few days, I just am a worrier. This time feels especially brutal however.

I just worry and read all the information about withdrawal, which maybe is a bad idea. My now x girlfriend and I are getting along and she is going to let me stay for a month or so until I get my own place. She cares and wants me to be healthy and is going to watch me in case action is needed.

Might try and go to Urgent Care and see if I can get an IV and some medication for withdrawal. Does anyone know if they do this? Thanks again for the support, it really helps to calm me down mentally which I think is the worst part.

BixBees505

It is possible to drink too much water, Str8. Let your body catch up eliminating the volume.

ScottFromWI

ER's and Urgent Care centers are definitely prepared to deal with those suffering from withdrawal if you feel you'll need it. It sounds as though perhaps going might be a great idea, you mention that you needed to drink 6 beers to try and "taper" yesterday but you also say you have no problem going without for several days.....if the former is true and you truly cannot stop drinking on your own then definitely seek medical help.

Soberwolf

Welcome & Hello Str8