jmhs002

I am new to this, and I am not sure how I feel about AA. Does anyone have experience with a different program? I need to stop completely, so no drinking in moderation programs would work for me. Thanks!

Chy

Here is a link with some of the other programs. It's in our recovery links forum.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...links&catid=21

lhomme

what are some topics generally discussed in AA meetings???

Doug

Welcome to SR. I don't have experience in other programs, but you might find something useful for yourself in this link, 12 Step Alternatives.

Once again,

Welcome!

3legacy

((((((JMHS))))))))
Welcome to SR!
Hmmmm...

Please take a good look into the alternatives suggested above. I am not sure how you presently feel about them prior to actually researching their methods either. Glad to hear you're looking at entire abstinence as the solution. It sounds like your probably a real alcoholic rather than simply a problem drinker.

I researched quite a few methods other than AA myself. My personal experience might prejudice & taint your personal view of some of those however. So, I will not expand upon it here. If you find these other methods end up not being what you're looking for, or they are not effective for you personally, please feel free to come join with me and many others at the last house on the block. I hope "not knowing how you feel about A.A." won't keep you from honestly seeking to check US out as well.

Three Legs
:tri

Dan

What's a real alcoholic?
I still have no clue.

3legacy

Dan:
Open up the Big Book you continue to post from and you will find out. ;-)

Three Legs

Don S

Here's a link that compares some of the better known recovery groups:
http://www.rrci.net/recovery_spectrum.htm

Women for Sobriety and Rational Recovery were early alternatives to AA. SOS, SMART Recovery (my own preference), and LifeRing are more recent.

Since SOS is not included in the comparison chart above, here is their web site:
http://www.secularsobriety.org/index.htm

Don S

Don S

And how did you come to that conclusion, 3legs?

Hey, jmhs, all the programs listed are abstinence-based. The only recovery program I know of that isn't is Moderation Management.

DangerousDan: What's a real alcoholic?
I still have no clue.

Three Legs: Dan:
Open up the Big Book you continue to post from and you will find out. ;-)

I'm just guessing here, but I think Dan's looked at that book. Probably more than once. So have I, and I can't figure out how Bill W or the others came up with the difference between 'just' a heavy drinker and an alcoholic, much less a 'real' alcoholic.

Don S

Peter

Jmhs and Ihomme welcome.

In response to Ihomme.

AA is a fellowship where alcoholics recovering from their disease share their experience strength and hopes about recovery from alcoholism.

Some meetings follow specific formats but basically anything to do with the nature of alcoholism and recovery are "discussed."

Peter

Not sure if I can expound too much on Bill W's interpretation of "the real alcoholic" so I will offer up my own experience and understanding of what I think the "real alcoholic" is.

I have been in the belly of the beast. I know.I have been in the car accidents.I have been in the fights that left me scarred for life.I know what it is to sleep in abandoned cars and graveyards.I know how it feels to wake up in the morning shaking desperately and longing for that next drink. Broken relationships that will never heal.I know how it feels to gulp down that "one last drink" and wish for the end.

I have seen people drinking beer for six weeks come running to a meeting and I have seen drunks with a lifetime of alcohol come to a meeting shaking so badly they have to hold the coffee mug with two hands.

I know who the "real alcoholic" is ......the "real" alcoholic is me and when I see my disease I will know it.....

Dan

The real alcoholic is me...
Thank you Peter.

dotcom

i am not an alcoholic, but an addict. im not phys addicted to alcohol but i can see it being a problem if i drank. im not trying to figure out if im an alcoholic though, but i like what you posted peter. it can be applied to users as well. it doesnt matter who defines what in what book, or who believes you are or are not an addict or an alcoholic. it makes it personal the way you posted it, just the way it should be. i forget that sometimes when people give me advice or suggestions. its really just about me (not trying to sound selfish here, but i mean its not for someone to diagnose for us or for someone to have the authority to say whose more of an addict or alcholic. its very personal.). i certainly didnt get help because someone told me i was an addict because i keep pawning my moms things. on the flip side, my alcohol use wasnt to the point of some of yours. if someone had told me "well i may be just a problem drinker" (at the beginning of my sobriety) i may have let myself believe that. thankfully, i choose not to find out whether or not i have potential to become an alcoholic. pray for me that when i turn 21 i still feel that way!

okay, hope i made sense. very thought provoking post peter.

Chy

Thanks Peter! Awesome!

3legacy

((((((Peter))))))
Sharing my experience strength and hope above, I had no intention of dragging this thread into the argueholism format. Never worked for me while in my "Dis"-ease. Guess I will keep sharing from my heart where, how and when I see fit.

Thanks for your input Peter and all others who have posted on this thread!

Three Legs, a real/true alcoholic who is trying to live in honesty without purposefully stepping on the toes of my fellows, whether they be alcoholic or not.

Three Legs
:tri

2dayzmuse

I don't know statistically, but I understand instinctually, through my own life experience. I grew from the heavy drinker, functioning in both my personal and social abilities, into the alcoholic who became completely dysfunctional. I think those, who have experienced this first hand, deep down inside, understands the meaning of a real alcoholic. I am a real alcoholic, no arguing that. I've reached a great understanding of the fact this is who I am. A particular remark doesn't mar my understanding of that. I got the intent of the verbiage real alcoholic without question.

Words spoken from someone who possibly understands the difference between a heavy drinker and a real alcoholic. If not ...what difference does it make? A problem is a problem no matter what it's size. If someone is asking for advice, I must assume their drinking has become troublesome, whether a heavy drinker or a real alcoholic.

I'm reminded that we are here to offer our ES&H to the best of our abilities. My intent is to reach out and help others who are suffering. If I'm able to reach/help one person, I feel gratified. That is my understanding of why we share space on these boards. The understanding of receiving hope and sharing experience, through reading a variety of different views and opinions. I find a varient of ideas a positive thing. I hate to see it muddied by personal conflict amongst fellow members. It's easy to read between the lines amongst the different posts. Must we continue to display our disagreement of other members, to the newcomer? Let's try to keep it fresh, not stale. We are here for healing purposes, not in the interest of finding conflict. Play nice, we're all in the same boat. Sink or swim, but please don't look for fault in the well meaning written word.

I'm writing this with good intentions. The your wrong I'm right arguement is getting tiresome and troublesome to me. Sorry...I just had to say it. Anyone else feel the same way? If not, I'll shut up and keep this opinion to myself, in the future. I will however, continue to share my ES&H. Peace...

Talia

Dan

I just happened to be at the meeting in the chat room last night, you know, that generic one where alcoholics and addicts come together and share...
Anyway, we were talking about coming to terms with the idea of taking recovery one day at a time.
jmhs002 shared, as a newcomer, concerns about sobriety, and wondered very clearly how he was going to achieve it. I got a ton out of his share. I'm glad he was there and that even though he has concerns about AA and the steps, he felt welcomed and comfortable enough to share.

I should add I'm not even sure if jmhs002 is male or female.
I apologize for assuming.

Don S

I really appreciate the way you write, Peter. You speak from your personal experience, and you don't make assumptions or predictions about the other person.

I fully agree with your concerns, Talia. But I am also concerned that someone posted specifically asking about alternatives to AA and got told (1) what kind of alcoholic he/she is (followed up by a reference to the Big Book), and (2) a subtle implication that the alternatives weren't on par with AA.

It wasn't what they were asking for, and it was another unnecessary promotion of AA. In general I don't think this is the forum for that, and in particular I don't think this was the thread for it.

Don S

lulu70

((((jmhs)))) Welcome--I have found AA to be life-saving, but I also have not tried any other programs. I am sure they can work as well. The important thing is that you KNOW you do not want to drink ANYMORE, and it definitely sounds like you do.

Keep posting here! We ALL truly want to help.

Hugs--

humble

I went to AA simply because it was the only group I had ever heard of, or knew about, and there were tons of meetings in my area. It has helped me a lot. I was not able to quit on my own before. Since then, I have found this website to be particularly helpful. I have grown a lot in just one week by spending my evenings here. I like it even better than AA meetings. One of the postings here had a link to SMART Recovery web site- which I enjoy a lot. Also in my town there is a subdivision of AA called Free Thinkers. They are not 12 stepers and they believe that however you get sober is great! I find those meeting very helpful. Anything goes! Bets wishes to you. Do anything and everything that helps. Just keep doing something!! Good luck!