Survived Friday
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Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 359
Survived Friday
I have a very good non-alcoholic friend, she's perfectly capable of just having a few drinks when she feels like it and calls it good. Most Friday's we would get together at her house so the kids could play together and we would girl-talk and drink beer.
Well the past several weeks I've been blowing off our girl's nights because I didn't feel strong enough to see her without the temptation of drinking with her - I haven't told her why because she's not someone I'm ready to tell yet.
She invited me over earlier and I decided that I can't just keep blowing her off for what would appear to her to be no reason, it's not fair to her and I didn't want her to think she'd upset me or I was avoiding her for any reason but I'm still not fully comfortable telling her that I've stopped drinking. I invited her to my place instead but she works from home and told me that she was working and had already had a few so did not want to drive (around 4 this afternoon).
So to be fair to my friend, I grabbed the bull by the horns around 8 and headed over. I walked in and she has a beer in her hand and holds one up for me - "I've got you a beer right here" - and I did think about it for a second but that rehearsed plan kicked in before the temptation got too strong - "oh I can't, I'm on antibiotics, I thought I sent you a message about that?"
So the beer was put up, she poured hers out and told me she'd stopped drinking when she finished what she was working on hours before, and we had a lovely night drinking Pepsi - pretty proud of myself and I know it made my friend happy to have the company and quite pleased that since I wasn't going to drink that she was perfectly content dumping hers out. One more hurdle successfully tackled.
Well the past several weeks I've been blowing off our girl's nights because I didn't feel strong enough to see her without the temptation of drinking with her - I haven't told her why because she's not someone I'm ready to tell yet.
She invited me over earlier and I decided that I can't just keep blowing her off for what would appear to her to be no reason, it's not fair to her and I didn't want her to think she'd upset me or I was avoiding her for any reason but I'm still not fully comfortable telling her that I've stopped drinking. I invited her to my place instead but she works from home and told me that she was working and had already had a few so did not want to drive (around 4 this afternoon).
So to be fair to my friend, I grabbed the bull by the horns around 8 and headed over. I walked in and she has a beer in her hand and holds one up for me - "I've got you a beer right here" - and I did think about it for a second but that rehearsed plan kicked in before the temptation got too strong - "oh I can't, I'm on antibiotics, I thought I sent you a message about that?"
So the beer was put up, she poured hers out and told me she'd stopped drinking when she finished what she was working on hours before, and we had a lovely night drinking Pepsi - pretty proud of myself and I know it made my friend happy to have the company and quite pleased that since I wasn't going to drink that she was perfectly content dumping hers out. One more hurdle successfully tackled.
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: London
Posts: 21
Kallistia, this is my biggest fear and I am not strong enough to tell anyone yet. My best friend recently moved a few hundred miles away, and she has no idea that I want to get sober, I am not ready to tell her. I joined the October class and am on day 3, so really early days, and I have been trying for many years - though not with the help of SR. I have a weekend booked to visit her for 3 nights weekend of the 23rd October, which was arranged last month, this will crack me I just know it - but I don't want to upset her by making some silly excuse and not going. She and I are great drinking buddies, kind of comes hand in hand with our relationship. I am trying not to think to far ahead, one day at a time but I am aware of this being a hurdle to my mission of being sober. Really well done you.
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Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 359
Lucy, there is absolutely nothing on this planet that can crack you, remember that every morning. Nothing can break you, nothing can pull you back down, that you are so very much stronger than that beast that has its claws in you. You can and you will survive this trip to visit your friend and it will be so much more fun with so much more to do sober and not feeling awful.
You are so early and still in the days of feeling absolutely horrible without alcohol, it does get better, and you are so close to physically feeling so much better. Hang in there, I know you've got this
Are you familiar with your friends new locale? If not, instead of settling in to drink with each other why not plan ahead with one another and find places to explore and get to know the area, are there any sight-seeing places, anything the city is famous for? Fill the days up with new and exciting things and remember...if you just want to go to a bar you can do it at home - so why travel so far just to do something you can do where you already are?
Congratulations on day 3 as well, I believe in you, you are strong enough to overcome this and see day 4 and 5 and 30. You are stronger than the alcohol even if the alcohol does not want you to think so. You are stronger.
You are so early and still in the days of feeling absolutely horrible without alcohol, it does get better, and you are so close to physically feeling so much better. Hang in there, I know you've got this
Are you familiar with your friends new locale? If not, instead of settling in to drink with each other why not plan ahead with one another and find places to explore and get to know the area, are there any sight-seeing places, anything the city is famous for? Fill the days up with new and exciting things and remember...if you just want to go to a bar you can do it at home - so why travel so far just to do something you can do where you already are?
Congratulations on day 3 as well, I believe in you, you are strong enough to overcome this and see day 4 and 5 and 30. You are stronger than the alcohol even if the alcohol does not want you to think so. You are stronger.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Day 149 here. Just a few days short of 5 months. 13 year record. Was a binger.
I did not shy away from drinking situations from the beginning. It was hard. I got anxiety. But, I told people I wasn't drinking. If they were close, I would tell them how long it had been since I quit.
Only my dad and alkyl buddy pushed it. But, only for a minute. Then they left it alone.
I have been on a few vacations etc where there was heavy drinking. I managed to not drink booze. I would get a virgin something. Drinkers that care about you respect your desire to not drink. I sense they almost envy it. My non drinking friends and family were all happy to see I am moving in a healthier direction by not drinking.
Alcohol is poisen.
I did not shy away from drinking situations from the beginning. It was hard. I got anxiety. But, I told people I wasn't drinking. If they were close, I would tell them how long it had been since I quit.
Only my dad and alkyl buddy pushed it. But, only for a minute. Then they left it alone.
I have been on a few vacations etc where there was heavy drinking. I managed to not drink booze. I would get a virgin something. Drinkers that care about you respect your desire to not drink. I sense they almost envy it. My non drinking friends and family were all happy to see I am moving in a healthier direction by not drinking.
Alcohol is poisen.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: London
Posts: 21
Kallistia, lovely kind words - I thank you for your support and belief in me, honestly it really helps, and it is truly appreciated. Very wise words and great advice, I have enough time to plan this trip and make it work for me. Thank you so very much.
Wow, well done D122y, 149 days - amazing, I am so early on in my journey I can not think beyond today, but I take such insparation from you all. Thank you for your advice and help.
Wow, well done D122y, 149 days - amazing, I am so early on in my journey I can not think beyond today, but I take such insparation from you all. Thank you for your advice and help.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 11
A good friend who's used to knocking some back with you may be stunned initially by your non-drinking curveball, but then it's over
*Good* friends just want to spend time with YOU, and I've found that the panic and stress I feel leading up to a get together are usually for nothing. Tea, coffee, soda - anything wet in your hand to keep you distracted and chatty will help loads.
One of my friends/ex-roommates had to get a liver transplant from excessive drinking & pills at age 33. He's been a rock of sobriety since and has inspired a lot of folks (like me). Humbled and grateful, but ever sarcastic, he once said when asked how he socializes without cracking, "It's JUST drinking, and I chose to leave it in the past....not my friends."
Best wishes and congrats to you guys -Z
*Good* friends just want to spend time with YOU, and I've found that the panic and stress I feel leading up to a get together are usually for nothing. Tea, coffee, soda - anything wet in your hand to keep you distracted and chatty will help loads.
One of my friends/ex-roommates had to get a liver transplant from excessive drinking & pills at age 33. He's been a rock of sobriety since and has inspired a lot of folks (like me). Humbled and grateful, but ever sarcastic, he once said when asked how he socializes without cracking, "It's JUST drinking, and I chose to leave it in the past....not my friends."
Best wishes and congrats to you guys -Z
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