How long can it last?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Southern California
Posts: 12
How long can it last?
Moderation
ABF was dry for about two months, after a two year period of very heavy, daily, whiskey-gin-vodka-beer drinking, with some shorter periods of sobriety in there. It was a horrific nightmare.
He's back to drinking now, though it's only beer, and he has been more or less keeping it "under control". He's not going to the bar. He's not been on any violent destructive rages, like he used to.
It's been almost two months. I figured it would have spiraled by now, like it has before, but it hasn't.
But can it last?
ABF was dry for about two months, after a two year period of very heavy, daily, whiskey-gin-vodka-beer drinking, with some shorter periods of sobriety in there. It was a horrific nightmare.
He's back to drinking now, though it's only beer, and he has been more or less keeping it "under control". He's not going to the bar. He's not been on any violent destructive rages, like he used to.
It's been almost two months. I figured it would have spiraled by now, like it has before, but it hasn't.
But can it last?
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
You can only hope.
Before I quit for good, me and my wife would have a huge fight at least a couple of times a year. I was always extremely drunk.
She drinks 1 drink a month or so. I drank 3 to 4 times a week, usually with at least 1 huge binge in that week.
I quit on my own, but was lucky the cops didn't come a few times. That would have been a bad bottom.
He has to want to stop. Nobody can stop him, except jail or health issues, until he is ready.
This is a abstinence forum, that is probably why nobody is chiming in. There are moderation forums out there.
Before I quit for good, me and my wife would have a huge fight at least a couple of times a year. I was always extremely drunk.
She drinks 1 drink a month or so. I drank 3 to 4 times a week, usually with at least 1 huge binge in that week.
I quit on my own, but was lucky the cops didn't come a few times. That would have been a bad bottom.
He has to want to stop. Nobody can stop him, except jail or health issues, until he is ready.
This is a abstinence forum, that is probably why nobody is chiming in. There are moderation forums out there.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hi Wantmeback
I'm sorry you're dealing with this. With that level of drinking and the violence issues my guess would be no, it won't last. As an alcoholic I know that this condition is progressive and will get worse, sooner or later.
You can't change him, you can't control him. Take care of you, your welfare, sanity and life. Trying to configure your life and your mental health around an alcoholic will make you equally crazy, and codependent.
There is a Family and Friends Forum here also where you can get input from people who walk in your shoes. I've been on both sides of the fence. As alcoholics in recovery we learn that the only person/behavior we can change is our own. As the friend of an alcoholic, you basically learn the same thing.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this. With that level of drinking and the violence issues my guess would be no, it won't last. As an alcoholic I know that this condition is progressive and will get worse, sooner or later.
You can't change him, you can't control him. Take care of you, your welfare, sanity and life. Trying to configure your life and your mental health around an alcoholic will make you equally crazy, and codependent.
There is a Family and Friends Forum here also where you can get input from people who walk in your shoes. I've been on both sides of the fence. As alcoholics in recovery we learn that the only person/behavior we can change is our own. As the friend of an alcoholic, you basically learn the same thing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Southern California
Posts: 12
Many thanks for the responses.
"Trying to configure your life and your mental health around an alcoholic will make you equally crazy, and codependent."
Yup, pretty sure it has made me equally crazy. I am just now starting to see the extent of it. I always thought I was the sane one holding it together, but now I am seeing the insanity in so much of what I have done to "hold it together".
You're right doggonecarl, probably doesn't matter anyway.
I know at this point, the right thing for me is to leave this relationship.
I'm just dragging my feet I guess
"Trying to configure your life and your mental health around an alcoholic will make you equally crazy, and codependent."
Yup, pretty sure it has made me equally crazy. I am just now starting to see the extent of it. I always thought I was the sane one holding it together, but now I am seeing the insanity in so much of what I have done to "hold it together".
You're right doggonecarl, probably doesn't matter anyway.
I know at this point, the right thing for me is to leave this relationship.
I'm just dragging my feet I guess
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