daz135

I need advice from people who know what it's about. I can't make it stick. I've done a couple of fornights, 3weeks and last year 4 months. my problem is I don't really have many concequences. I drink mostly 12 beer's a night if i allow myself, I know it's wrong, probably doing damage, its very hard to stop i know it's no right by any means. I don't really have hangovers, I'm up early etc .every time I stop it just gets twisted in my mind to be a punishment. It's going on a few years now that the yo-yo process has been going on. Only weekends or I'll have a month off, continually making deals and goals just to break them. I've quit probably 100 times, new year's day, birthday national holiday etc etc. It seems there is just not enough emotional or physical pain to make me stop.
Ive read all the phrases about rock bottom, getting off the elevator before it hits rock bottom etc but i just keep on going. I seem to be able to come up with nearly an endless supply of reasons why it's OK to drink. I'm just so frustrated because this is taking an enormous amount of mental energy, morning's it's definitely not, afternoons it's what's the big deal let have some beers. So many people drink a lot. My mother in law came round for lunch the other day and drank a whole bottle of wine by herself and seemed fine. I was abstaining and thought if a 60 year old woman woman who has had breast cancer can do that who really cares if I drink 12 beer's. And I rarely drink during the day anyway. Most of my logic is flawed i know that but I just want out of the continuing mental battle and negotiations. Maybe I just need more pain for more gain. I hope this makes some kind of sense.

biminiblue

You'll get the pain if you keep going.

All those consequences? They haven't happened yet. (You're Eligible Too.)

I'm really sorry you feel a need to continue until the pain is too great. That pain may be irreversible liver damage, heart damage, hip or bone damage, brain damage, an accident that hurts you or someone else, getting arrested, or death.

I don't think anyone plans for those consequences. They do happen with frightening regularity, though.

I quit when I was tired of the fear.

doggonecarl

So there it is. You see sobriety as being deprived of something you like/want/need/love/enjoy, whatever.

But if you are drinking 12 beers a night, just about every night, what is alcohol depriving you of? What quality of life?

And is it worth it?

If so, keep drinking. Eventually drinking will become misery and despair, you will clearly recognize what alcohol is taking from you, and quitting will be even more difficult.

Your call.

sg1970

I'm not sure what you expect us to say. I used that type of rationalization for twenty years. No one could say anything to get me to stop. I put a lot of people through a lot of pain before I got miserable enough to stop making excuses. I got to the point I didn't care if I lived or died. I also never had any real trouble, still had a great job, wife, and kids. I would encourage you not to get to that point. It does get progressively worse. Sometimes very quickly.

How do you know the lady who had a bottle of wine at lunch isn't in a lot of pain on the inside? I would caution against comparing yourself to how other people appear to be doing.

Berrybean

As sg1970 points out - comparisons aren't always useful. We end up comparing our insides with other people's outsides, and give our AVs far too much ammunition.

Hypocritical

I feel the same way daz135. I just turned 54 and have been drinking like you for 25+ years. No real issues at this point. Yea I got drunk and said stupid stuff from time to time, had the occasional hangover, forgot driving home etc. I never missed work, never had social issues; I just drank too much and figured I had a good run but it's time to look toward my future. We've worked too hard planing and saving for our future for me to end up with financial woes due to drinking. It's definitley not fair to my wife. I've been very lucky I haven't destroyed my life and very lucky to "wake up" now and get some help.

Hypo (done it enough)

tursiops999

Hi daz - thanks for your post, it reminded me of why I quit. I, too, went through the daily battle of "morning, definitely not, afternoons, what's the big deal". I got really tired of this mental see-saw.

I didn't have any obvious consequences either. At my worst, I drank a bottle of wine a night, but usually it was less than that, and never in the daytime. So it was easy to delude myself into thinking I didn't really have a problem.

Now that I have some sober time, I can see that alcohol was just taking up too much time and mental energy, and it was damaging my emotional health and my moods in a subtle way. Since getting sober I am just happier, more optimistic, kinder to myself and others. My marriage has improved tremendously.

Even though my problem wasn't "that bad", I still needed help and support (I went to AA) because it is such a big lifestyle change, and a change in mental habits (not just getting sober, but living my life so that I'm happy while sober). It was hard enough to quit at this stage, I can only imagine how hard it would be if I let my drinking problem progress any further.

It's your choice, but I hope you'll do the kindest thing to yourself and quit now while it's easier. From what I hear, it only gets worse, never better.

sleepie

Hi daz how are you?
I guess a couple things came to mind, first- that you are here so you have a desire to quit. That's worth examining in itself... There are only benefits to quitting now, early! Glad to see you here.
I admit in the face of someone who can polish off a bottle of wine and is a cancer survivor to boot, it would be hard to see reasons to quit, being where you are now.
I have not had more than just over 11 weeks sober but I do know that after a certain point fairly early on, the benefits of drinking stopped and it became a sort of half existence... it was a compromised life. I think if you can find another thing to embrace you can have a happy life.

gonzo51511

I suggest quit while your ahead.. it only gets worse. Im 35 and my life is now a trainwreck.. when you are in that everyday drinking fog u dont really realize whats happening then outa nowhere your life is drastically changed.. i drank daily for over 10 years, lost relationships, career opportunities, you name it.. then recently lost career, and women i was gonna marry. The booze game is not designed to win.. its about how much are u willing to pawn ..

Light76

I hear what you're saying. I come from a long line of alcoholics but my parents were sober and they had a terrible, tense, loveless marriage. I thought they were no fun and why not I don't need to listen I'll do whatever I want. I wish I could have not gotten in this deep though and could've been moderate but that probably isn't in the cards. I'd rather be just accepting of things how they are then having crazy physical withdrawals while blocking things out but now that's not going to be an easy transition.

tomsteve

i suggest ya read and reread your post.
hopefully you will see the consequenses that are pretty bad(mental anguish) and make that enough to do whatever ya have to do to stop drinking.

daz135

Thanks for advice much appreciated

Soberwolf

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ful-links.html

Build a plan & stick to it bud put your all into this Daz

daz135

Thanks mate that's awesome!