Dealing with Fear
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: SoCal, California
Posts: 990
One of my biggest fears has always been buying a house/condo and then losing my job and the condo.
So finally, at age 60, I put the money down and bought a condo about 1-1/2 yrs ago. Sure enough I'll be losing my job in a few months and probably the condo with it. I will probably be wiped out financially.
I know I can't face this while drinking so I have stopped.
But the fear and dread is there and it sweeps over me. This thread helps me keep my head above water.
So finally, at age 60, I put the money down and bought a condo about 1-1/2 yrs ago. Sure enough I'll be losing my job in a few months and probably the condo with it. I will probably be wiped out financially.
I know I can't face this while drinking so I have stopped.
But the fear and dread is there and it sweeps over me. This thread helps me keep my head above water.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
Tomsteve,
I can really relate to what you wrote, and respect your bravery in facing your illness.
I also try to treat fear as the opposite of love, and with the help of the universe send it on its way when I can. I thought of MIR's post in reading yours, you both seem to have dealt with fear in situations where most of us would have become self destructive, not that any of this is easy of course.
I also noticed that a lot of folks wrote about the role of procrastination in fear, which is definitely a fear enhancer for many of us, and the benefits of facing the problem (like finances) that is the source of the fear and taking the action that we can (budget, spending, create income) and then letting the rest go.
The problem that we procrastinators have is getting to point where we can do that, which we often cannot, which enhances the fear, which enhances the procrastination, and so the spiral goes. Of course, this is all made worse by drinking, but even sober it can be completely debilitating.
If anyone is interested, there is a procrastination thread going.
Thans for all your posts, which really helped me today. It is amazing what we can teach each other.
I can really relate to what you wrote, and respect your bravery in facing your illness.
I also try to treat fear as the opposite of love, and with the help of the universe send it on its way when I can. I thought of MIR's post in reading yours, you both seem to have dealt with fear in situations where most of us would have become self destructive, not that any of this is easy of course.
I also noticed that a lot of folks wrote about the role of procrastination in fear, which is definitely a fear enhancer for many of us, and the benefits of facing the problem (like finances) that is the source of the fear and taking the action that we can (budget, spending, create income) and then letting the rest go.
The problem that we procrastinators have is getting to point where we can do that, which we often cannot, which enhances the fear, which enhances the procrastination, and so the spiral goes. Of course, this is all made worse by drinking, but even sober it can be completely debilitating.
If anyone is interested, there is a procrastination thread going.
Thans for all your posts, which really helped me today. It is amazing what we can teach each other.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 378
Originally Posted by Dropsie 
thanks for the bump.
How are you if you can dream??
I always recommend Debbie Ford's 30 day consciousness cleanse. Works wonders.
How are you if you can dream??
I always recommend Debbie Ford's 30 day consciousness cleanse. Works wonders.
I'm doing ok. Been doing a lot of soul searching lately and discovered that I have a big problem with fear.
The last few days have been tough. Just... so many ups and downs. So intense.
Thanks for asking.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 1,972
Originally Posted by IfYouCanDream
Hi Dropsie,
I'm doing ok. Been doing a lot of soul searching lately and discovered that I have a big problem with fear.
The last few days have been tough. Just... so many ups and downs. So intense.
Thanks for asking.
I'm doing ok. Been doing a lot of soul searching lately and discovered that I have a big problem with fear.
The last few days have been tough. Just... so many ups and downs. So intense.
Thanks for asking.
Fear can make me fat (omg, I might go hungry, better eat that donut now)
Fear can make me act like a jerk (oh no, somebody else might get that promotion)
Why do I fear not getting that promotion? (omg, I might go hungry)...
Really, I think I'm just a mean little primate scared of going hungry and cold in a cruel and lonely world.
Um, that was dark.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
Fear has always been a serious problem for me, something I didn't realize until recently. Fear was keeping me in a box, never seeing that I had the power to step out of that box and really experience life. It gets easier over time but I'm always aware that fear plays a major role in my decision making, and I need to find ways to work around or through it to move forward. John
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Fear knocked. Faith answered. Nothing was there.
I did a fear inventory as part of my 4th step and discovered what a huge roll it plays in my life and is one of the primary reasons I drank. As the cowardly lion says, "I scare ymyself." Fear is something I battle every day
I thought my problem was anxiety and then I discovered anxiety is the symptom of fear
I did a fear inventory as part of my 4th step and discovered what a huge roll it plays in my life and is one of the primary reasons I drank. As the cowardly lion says, "I scare ymyself." Fear is something I battle every day
I thought my problem was anxiety and then I discovered anxiety is the symptom of fear
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
Originally Posted by MIRecovery
Fear knocked. Faith answered. Nothing was there.
I did a fear inventory as part of my 4th step and discovered what a huge roll it plays in my life and is one of the primary reasons I drank. As the cowardly lion says, "I scare ymyself." Fear is something I battle every day
I thought my problem was anxiety and then I discovered anxiety is the symptom of fear
I did a fear inventory as part of my 4th step and discovered what a huge roll it plays in my life and is one of the primary reasons I drank. As the cowardly lion says, "I scare ymyself." Fear is something I battle every day
I thought my problem was anxiety and then I discovered anxiety is the symptom of fear
Alive in the Superunknown
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: 30.47ºN, 98.15ºW
Posts: 1,460
I find myself prone to fear sometimes, and at times it has paralyzed me. I've found the accepting what I cannot change helps. I've also found that things I think I can't change are susceptible to action.
In those latter cases, I develop a plan to attack what seems to be an overwhelming problem by breaking it down into smaller, individually-solvable tasks. After a few of those have been dealt with, not only have I cleared the decks for attacking the crux of the matter, I've built some self-confidence.
The points about not catastrophizing tomorrow are also apt. We cannot change yesterday, and tommorow isn't promised to us at all, and if it does arrive, there's no telling what is and isn't in our grasp. By elimination, that tells me to live today. Make plans to address the issues you can change, accept what you can't, and be mindful of which is which.
In those latter cases, I develop a plan to attack what seems to be an overwhelming problem by breaking it down into smaller, individually-solvable tasks. After a few of those have been dealt with, not only have I cleared the decks for attacking the crux of the matter, I've built some self-confidence.
The points about not catastrophizing tomorrow are also apt. We cannot change yesterday, and tommorow isn't promised to us at all, and if it does arrive, there's no telling what is and isn't in our grasp. By elimination, that tells me to live today. Make plans to address the issues you can change, accept what you can't, and be mindful of which is which.
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