just exploded at my wife
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Auckland
Posts: 2,548
Yeah, I hear what you're saying about the explosion. Funny story...my partner's ex-wife once said to him about me "she's a very kind person". My partner replied "she is, but she can be pretty fiesty too". Ex wife replied "short fuse?" Partner's response "no, long fuse, big explosion".
It feels awful when that happens, but hey, we're all human :-)
It feels awful when that happens, but hey, we're all human :-)
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Sounds like you hit a nerve and opened a bit of a hornets nest with the fitness comment. Oh well. All you can do it apologise (which you've done) and assure her that you resolve to walk away before exploding like that again. We all do our best, but we aren't saints. You've acknowledged what you did. If it were me I'd be tempted to 10th step it (or even go back to the step 4 format and figure out what was going on in me for me to snap like that). Maybe once as a harm and again as a resentment (it sounds like it's lodged somewhere between the two).
Hope you and your wife can chuckle about it soon
Hope you and your wife can chuckle about it soon
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
sleepie it didnt go to well we barely spoke the rest of the night which really isnt like me. I normally am pretty quick to get that sorta thing resolved. But I just didnt know where to begin and after apolgizing before about the first issue i was like if i apologize now what will happen? then she proceded to link me to an article about the benefits of having an exercise partner. I was like OMG i'm not even concerned about that arguement i'm still appalled at how i exploded.
Anyhow this morning later in the morning. I finally came around and apologized and she was accepting. I told her i think my blood sugar was low or something and i should nto have snapped like that. not that having low blood sugar is any excuse.
On the other hand she has low blood sugar issues and will snap at e routinely and never apologize but I didnt go there lol I was just trying to keep my side of the street clean as they say.
So its ok now. but yeah I guess i'll go back to trying to pay more attention as to what i say. Anything i say can be misconstrued and used against me lol.
ya know I think before i speak and someitmes i dont but then times when i do its like it comes out then afterwards i'm like OMG i shoulda thought that through better! Tho I didnt really feel that way about this particular situation. I was pretty blind sided but I can see why she took it how she did.
But its like the other day wiht somehting. She complained i was doing something a certain way I cant recall what it was specifically. and i was like i'm doing it this way because everytime i did it the other way you screamed at me. she got real quiet. I was like yeah so I was not sure about doing it this way or not but i just chose this route knowing that the other way would surely get me yelled at.
I cant win sometimes. it can be like walking on eggshells at times.
Anyhow this morning later in the morning. I finally came around and apologized and she was accepting. I told her i think my blood sugar was low or something and i should nto have snapped like that. not that having low blood sugar is any excuse.
On the other hand she has low blood sugar issues and will snap at e routinely and never apologize but I didnt go there lol I was just trying to keep my side of the street clean as they say.
So its ok now. but yeah I guess i'll go back to trying to pay more attention as to what i say. Anything i say can be misconstrued and used against me lol.
ya know I think before i speak and someitmes i dont but then times when i do its like it comes out then afterwards i'm like OMG i shoulda thought that through better! Tho I didnt really feel that way about this particular situation. I was pretty blind sided but I can see why she took it how she did.
But its like the other day wiht somehting. She complained i was doing something a certain way I cant recall what it was specifically. and i was like i'm doing it this way because everytime i did it the other way you screamed at me. she got real quiet. I was like yeah so I was not sure about doing it this way or not but i just chose this route knowing that the other way would surely get me yelled at.
I cant win sometimes. it can be like walking on eggshells at times.
on the shoulder not a kung fu to the face or anything crazy like that.Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
One of my favorites opening statements use to be - You know what you should do......blah, blah, blah.....
Still guilty of it at times.
I drove a lot of friends and family away with my unsolicited advice. Falls into the category of .......wisdom to know the difference, for me.
I have also learned that when I say I'm sorry that is the entire sentence and paragraph. It is heartfelt and genuine today. I stopped saying sorry, but........Yikes! That for sure is self rationalization for me. It's code for I'm sorry you choose to disagree with me.
One of the most important lessons I continually work on is hitting my pause button.
Especially when learning to communicate with my wife, soberly.
Maybe we could take classes together!?!?
When I stumble a nice piece of dark chocolate for Mrs and another attempt at I'm sorry, I was wrong helps start to clear the air - and It really becomes very liberating.
I don't have to be correct all the time or better yet, I can let others be wrong without judgement.
Thanks for posting a thread reminding me of my shortcomings and what I need to work on -
Let's both,
Keep coming back!
Still guilty of it at times.
I drove a lot of friends and family away with my unsolicited advice. Falls into the category of .......wisdom to know the difference, for me.
I have also learned that when I say I'm sorry that is the entire sentence and paragraph. It is heartfelt and genuine today. I stopped saying sorry, but........Yikes! That for sure is self rationalization for me. It's code for I'm sorry you choose to disagree with me.
One of the most important lessons I continually work on is hitting my pause button.
Especially when learning to communicate with my wife, soberly. Maybe we could take classes together!?!?
When I stumble a nice piece of dark chocolate for Mrs and another attempt at I'm sorry, I was wrong helps start to clear the air - and It really becomes very liberating.
I don't have to be correct all the time or better yet, I can let others be wrong without judgement.
Thanks for posting a thread reminding me of my shortcomings and what I need to work on -
Let's both,
Keep coming back!
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