Today is a rough day
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by gonzo51511 
And what promises came true if u dont mind?? Just curious
1. Physical well being: I am in far better physical shape than I was when I was drinking. My blood pressure was high, my heart rate was high, my cholesterol was high, my skin was dry, I bruised easily, etc. All of those things have improved dramatically since I stopped. Some of them took many months to improve but they all did not only as a result of my not drinking, but of improving my diet and sleep as a result of not being drunk every day.
2. I am a much more honest, trustworthy person. I no longer have to hide my addiction and drinking from the world and my family. I can participate in anything I want to without having to constantly worry about where my next beer was going to come from, or planning every event so I always had access to alcohol.
3. My family interactions: I can look my wife and children in the eyes and not have to lie about where I stopped on the way home. I don't fall asleep when I am reading stories to my kids at night. I don't stink like alcohol every night and in the morning. I don't have to avoid doing family activities because I'm hung over.
4. Financial: I don't' spend several hundred dollars a month on beer anymore, so I've been able to save some money and purchase some things for myself and my family that I never would have. I also don't spend money on junk food in the middle of the night or make stupid, spur of the moment purchases like I did drunk,
5. Social: I don't say stupid things on Facebook ( cancelled my account actually ) or drunk call old friends and look like an idiot the next day. I can go to social/family gatherings and not be one of the drunks hanging out by the cooler all night. I'm not "that guy" that you always talk about that was acting like a drunk fool last night.
Thats' just a start....but for me I can honestly say that there is not a single thing in my life that has not improved because of my sobriety. It has not been easy every day and there have been things I needed to do that I did not want to to. I had to let go of some friends and make some new ones. I had to find new places to go and things to do as well. But I did and I've found that I have many more options now than when I was drinking.
Keep up the good work you are doing and it will pay off.
Last edited by ScottFromWI; 09-22-2015 at 02:11 PM.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Ky
Posts: 2,043
You don't forget them or ignore them, it's part of being a "recovering" alcoholic. You work through them and make amends when you're ready or you come to forgive yourself or those that wronged you and come to peace with it so you can move on. It's part if it. Working on yourself as I said above. Changing the way you think about things and coming to peace so you can move on.
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 287
cool thx guys, my blood pressure was a little high as well while drinking. I was often worried about it but didn't want to go on medicine. after just a few weeks of abstinence it was at normal numbers.. so that's a plus. its just the physcological stuff that gets me bums.. im trying to take the positive prospective and interpret AA in all situations. I know things will be better in the most hated word for an alkie.... (time)
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne Australia.
Posts: 3,748
Originally Posted by Holds1325
So its week 9 or 10 or whatever I lost count,
How is everyone doing today?
The title of this post isn't even close to a slight description of today looking from the outside.
I guess what I'm wondering is how often does one need to "pretend" before things get better, or maybe pretend isn't a good word, but perhaps "keep on as if nothing is horrible" may be a better phrase.
With all the anxiety and stuff going on most days I'm just trying to trudge along wondering what this is all for.
My main question is, and I know this sounds generic, is how long do you keep pretending or acting or whatever, how long do you keep smiling, walking forward, getting up, letting all the emotional kicks and punches run past you without falling flat?
Meanwhile people talk to you, life moves on, you smile, you get up you press forward, acting normal, meanwhile on the inside it feels like death and fear everyday.
I can't count the number of times I'm in a room where people are talking smiling, getting along, in the meantime I "look" like I'm doing the same, however, under the surface, is a battle raging so fierce its a complete mystery how I'm even standing there calm.
Just my rant for the day.
How is everyone doing today?
The title of this post isn't even close to a slight description of today looking from the outside.
I guess what I'm wondering is how often does one need to "pretend" before things get better, or maybe pretend isn't a good word, but perhaps "keep on as if nothing is horrible" may be a better phrase.
With all the anxiety and stuff going on most days I'm just trying to trudge along wondering what this is all for.
My main question is, and I know this sounds generic, is how long do you keep pretending or acting or whatever, how long do you keep smiling, walking forward, getting up, letting all the emotional kicks and punches run past you without falling flat?
Meanwhile people talk to you, life moves on, you smile, you get up you press forward, acting normal, meanwhile on the inside it feels like death and fear everyday.
I can't count the number of times I'm in a room where people are talking smiling, getting along, in the meantime I "look" like I'm doing the same, however, under the surface, is a battle raging so fierce its a complete mystery how I'm even standing there calm.
Just my rant for the day.
Over some decades alcohol and drugs simply exacerbated my misery, in the big picture.
A passion (I know that sounds dumb) can help, or less dramatically involvement in something quite contrary to the old way of life.
I too went theough the living a lie bit, but dumbing it down was a horrible solution
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 464
Thanks for the support,
I am still undecided, I got so much emotions going on that its started to flow out of me and into my surroundings if that makes sense. I hate how things are going and I started feeling nauseous almost every morning, its regular!
Yes I went to the doctor, got checked for this and that etc. its just my stupid anxiety thats causing all these annoying physical symptoms, for now anyway......
I am still undecided, I got so much emotions going on that its started to flow out of me and into my surroundings if that makes sense. I hate how things are going and I started feeling nauseous almost every morning, its regular!
Yes I went to the doctor, got checked for this and that etc. its just my stupid anxiety thats causing all these annoying physical symptoms, for now anyway......
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: fort worth tx
Posts: 1,373
Your anxiety will eventually go away. Your living life without alcohol now. It takes time. Alcoholism is a great decepter. It fools you into thinking that this is the only way to cope. Its just the opposite. It causes you anxiety and turmoil. Your self confidence and a sense of calm will return. For me it took about 9 months. After that I knew anxiety was just a joke and bi product of alcoholism. Just give it time. You'll understand later.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi Holds 
I'd been drinking for 20 years - when I quite I found everything to be quite joyless, very grey and drab. I figured that was the price I paid for screwing up my brain.
The longer I stayed sober tho, and the more I worked on those long standing 'issues' that I first started drinking over, my perception of things began to change.
I started to feel this weird feeling.
It took me about a month to realise it was happiness - and it took another month or two for me to learn not to be scared of that feeling because I always associated happiness with a consequent fall and a long stretch of unhappiness.
I'm not ashamed to say a little counselling also helped me to sort all those feelings and long standing issues out.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that we can change and life can be good - we just have to have faith, and a little patience, and call in some outside help if we need it
D
I'd been drinking for 20 years - when I quite I found everything to be quite joyless, very grey and drab. I figured that was the price I paid for screwing up my brain.
The longer I stayed sober tho, and the more I worked on those long standing 'issues' that I first started drinking over, my perception of things began to change.
I started to feel this weird feeling.
It took me about a month to realise it was happiness - and it took another month or two for me to learn not to be scared of that feeling because I always associated happiness with a consequent fall and a long stretch of unhappiness.
I'm not ashamed to say a little counselling also helped me to sort all those feelings and long standing issues out.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that we can change and life can be good - we just have to have faith, and a little patience, and call in some outside help if we need it
D
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
It took me about a month to realise it was happiness - and it took another month or two for me to learn not to be scared of that feeling because I always associated happiness with a consequent fall and a long stretch of unhappiness.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
...So how long do you keep pretending? Until you don't want to anymore. What do you do? Take action. What actions do you take? Depends on the situation.
Ask yourself this - what exactly are you doing for your recovery? Are you participating in any formal recovery program? Are you seeking medical help for your medical issues? Are you seeking counseling or self-help for your anxiety/depression?
Ask yourself this - what exactly are you doing for your recovery? Are you participating in any formal recovery program? Are you seeking medical help for your medical issues? Are you seeking counseling or self-help for your anxiety/depression?
And there it is.
I like a good rant as much as the next person but ultimately until I take action not much changes.
A problem for me is sometimes the situation is such that I don't know what I can or can't change. In which case I ask for help.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by gonzo51511
And what came true for you?? Just curious?
We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
I do feel a new freedom and a different happiness to any I'd known to even start pursuing. I think a lot of this came from that Step 4 work. As I looked at the things that got to me (resentments and harms) I could see (1) which of the character defects were biggies for me (2) I realised what things I was most scared of. So now, I can be mindful of these things in my conduct from day to day and work at breaking my cycle of misery in the future. The things that were in the past were dealt with through my amends work. Now I'm not spending so much time in inner turmoil about the past and the present I can spend more time in the present moment. Living.
We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
This is the one where I still struggle on a bad day and have to really work my programme. I have to remind myself how the things that were in the past were dealt with through my amends work, and life is a learning process. Maybe I needed those lessons. Smart as I think I am, in a lot of things I ended up in the catch-up class.
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
Sorry for the copy & paste, but...Now I'm not spending so much time in inner turmoil about the past and the present I can spend more time in the present moment. Living.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. Sharing my experience, strength and hope, and knowing how much it helped me when others did it.
That feeling of uselessness and self pity will disappear.
I used to spend a lot of time in self-pity mode. I kind of thought it was like being sympathetic and kind to myself. I now know that inviting that negativity in my day is just hurting myself. If I'm having a few issues at any point in the day, once they've finished I make a conscious effort to restart my day so that I don't carry those issues forward unnecessarily. Maybe other people will read that an think - well, THAT's obvious. But to me it wasn't. Not for 42 years anyway lol.
We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Fellowship. The joy of the fellowship. It's taught me a lot about interacting with others. I've realised that service might be inconvenient (and infuriating) at times, but I always get more out of it than I put in somehow. Maybe while I'm setting up the hall I get a lovely chat with someone else there. Maybe it's knowing that I've helped things go smoothly, while at the same time helping me feel a sense of 'belonging' which had been alien to me beforehand.
Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. I misread this one at the start of my journey. Unfortunately the people and economic insecurity themselves don't leave us. But the FEAR of it does. And it did for me. I used to have a massive fear of opening envelopes, so I used to hide them. When we moved house my partner found boxes of the bloody things. Stupid eh. But it was fear of my economic insecurity. And that fear also made me spend loads on alcohol and other 'cheer myself up' items. That all sounds like insanity to me, and maybe it was. But that was how it was for me from leaving school and home at 18 through til I reached 42. Long term fear of financial insecurity.
We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. I'm getting there with this one. As in, I seem to sense when I'm making a duff choice (almost a jittery feeling in my chest which may have happened before but I wasn't in the moment enough to notice it perhaps). I'm still not always confident of my decisions, but luckily my sponsor and AA best friend are great at listening and guidance. More and more I'm finding my sponsor says the same as I'd thought, so I'm getting more confident in this.
We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. Yep. Nowadays I'm happy to let God steer the elephants. I'm done with hanging off their tail trying to make them go my way.
So - still work to do. But things are so much better. And I can see those promises materialising in my life. As long as I keep working at it.
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Athens, Georgia
Posts: 962
I like surfing Pink Clouds ...
and I have found out for me how they are generated.
As human beings, inherent in our Human Nature we all have a 'Flesh Nature' and a 'Spiritual Nature'. Thru living my life on Self-Will-Run-Riot, pursuing Instincts out-of control, and pouring Drugs & Alcohol on as fuel for the fire, I 'warped my mind & body into such a condition...'
Now that I have worked the Steps, and sorted a lot of it out, I don't have to be controlled by the old behavioral processes of my Flesh Nature, and I can live my Life in a state where I experience and appreciate my Spiritual Nature (the benefits of Serenity).
I can also see how 'I' process 'Life on Life's Terms' events, whether enjoyable, stressful, heartbreaking, etc. I can see the tendency of my Flesh Nature trying to grab control of 'Me'. Sometimes it feels like an 'Urgency' to get 'Control' of the situation. However, 'I' now know where that leads, and it is NOT an option for me now. When 'I' acknowledge that FREEDOM from 'bondage' to my old Flesh Nature ... the 'Elevation' I experience of being 'lifted' above those grinding gears of 'certain destruction' generates those 'Pink Clouds', and I GLADLY jump on it and Surf it in my state of being Happy, Joyous and FREE.
RDBplus3
and I have found out for me how they are generated.
As human beings, inherent in our Human Nature we all have a 'Flesh Nature' and a 'Spiritual Nature'. Thru living my life on Self-Will-Run-Riot, pursuing Instincts out-of control, and pouring Drugs & Alcohol on as fuel for the fire, I 'warped my mind & body into such a condition...'
Now that I have worked the Steps, and sorted a lot of it out, I don't have to be controlled by the old behavioral processes of my Flesh Nature, and I can live my Life in a state where I experience and appreciate my Spiritual Nature (the benefits of Serenity).
I can also see how 'I' process 'Life on Life's Terms' events, whether enjoyable, stressful, heartbreaking, etc. I can see the tendency of my Flesh Nature trying to grab control of 'Me'. Sometimes it feels like an 'Urgency' to get 'Control' of the situation. However, 'I' now know where that leads, and it is NOT an option for me now. When 'I' acknowledge that FREEDOM from 'bondage' to my old Flesh Nature ... the 'Elevation' I experience of being 'lifted' above those grinding gears of 'certain destruction' generates those 'Pink Clouds', and I GLADLY jump on it and Surf it in my state of being Happy, Joyous and FREE.
RDBplus3
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