scaredikklegoth

I feel like crap. I almost feel hungover. There's still a fullness in my right side under my ribs. I'm not going to the doctor though. I know that sounds stupid and cowardly but one of two things will happen;

1. They'll tell me my liver is ****** and I'll die from the stress and anxiety of that. Seriously, I'll have a heart attack.

Or 2. They'll tell me my liver is ok and I'll use that as an excuse to keep drinking.

I really want a drink.

MrSmith

scaredikklegoth I know exactly how you feel. For many years, I tried to quit drinking because I was worried that my Vodka habit was going to kill my liver eventually. The amazing thing about the liver is that if you quit drinking, your liver enzymes will go back down to normal over time, assuming you haven't done permanent damage. 12 days ago I finally became fed up with it all and went to see a doctor, an addiction specialist. It was very hard for me to walk in there and tell her what I had never told any other living human being, that I was drinking a pint of Vodka a day at a minimum. Instead of finding that there was no hope, she helped me by prescribing Naltrexone pills, until I could get the Vivitrol shot. The Naltrexone is amazing, I would call it a modern miracle. What it does is reduce your cravings down to a very manageable level so that you can have a much better chance to succeed at sobriety. I had the shot yesterday, and for 30 days the medicine will stay in my system. For the first time in 16 years, I have hope, and you can too. Go find a doc, it will really help. Good luck.

I should add that the shot doesn't work all by itself, you have to find some other help in the form of AA, Smart Recovery, Rational Recovery, or even this site in order to get the tools to change you while you are taking the medicine.

scaredikklegoth

Thanks for sharing your experience MrSmith, that helps a lot actually. Maybe the dr will be helpful after all. I'm just terrified that she's gonna tell me that I'm going to die, you know?

SoberAlky

What do you think will happen if you keep drinking? Does the phrase "jails, institutions and death" ring a bell?

scaredikklegoth

Is there a reason why you're being so aggressive? I'm not saying that I am going to drink, just that I have the craving. I'm fully aware of the consequences of continued drinking; that's why I've stopped.

Dee74

I can really identify with still feeling bad on day 5 scaredikklegoth - by the end of my drinking it was taking a week or more for me to feel ok again.

I don't think your experience is at all uncommon, and I expect you'll feel better soon.

That said, I think seeing a Dr is a good way to make sure all is well, maybe get some help, and put your mind at rest...but that's a personal call.

D

scaredikklegoth

Yeah, I suppose I should really go. I don't have any yellow-ness and the pain has gone so it seems unlikely that she'll say I'm dying but my anxiety is spiking and making me scared to do things. I know that's lame.

Dee74

I'm not a Dr...but the chances of you having something terminal are vastly outnumbered by the chances that this is a somewhat protracted, but by no means unusual, withdrawal

This is a thread of various peoples withdrawal experiences.

Hopefully it won't scare you - I hope it might reassure you of where you sit on the bell curve?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

D

entropy1964

I understand being scared to go...I think that's normal. But you'll feel much better if you do. I may have this wrong, but you're fairly young right? Well, either way, just go and put your mind at ease. And I recommend taking milk thistle. I think there is strong evidence that it is a good herbal supplement to take to help support your liver. I have GAD so I can freak myself out about just about anything. Procrastination and denial just make it worse. You can do this!

scaredikklegoth

My god do I hate my GAD. It really sucks, doesn't it? getting so freaked by stuff other people don't even pause over. My leg is jigging like mad atm lol.

I don't have symptoms of terminal liver disease so let's hope I've caught it in time. I tell you what, liver pain is a great big kick in the behind. I never want to feel this scared again.

Thanks Dee, I shall have a read ^_^

Soberwolf

I'm getting therapy for my anxiety depression & agoraphobia

Exercise really helps today I walked 5+ miles my legs are sore but itl be worth it I get so much from it

It really helps

scaredikklegoth

I used to go for walks Soberwolf, I should take that up again. I'll go for one tomorrow and report back. I was in therapy but had to stop due to the cost which really sucked as it was helping.

entropy1964

Yes GAD sucks. I can't take meds for it either so I'm left to hollistic methods....which actually are more effective longterm. The only time I can get meds is during a ptsd attack...and then I pretty much have to be hospitalized. But without alcohol it's all more manageable. And procrastination, while the bed fellow of anxiety, is its worst enemy. You'll feel so much better when you go to the dr

scaredikklegoth

FF I'm sure you're right. I'll go this week. Sorry you suffer with GAD too, and PTSD. I used to occasionally take 2mg diazepam for my anxiety but I haven't taken any in nearly a year as I've been using ASMR videos to help calm it. Have you tried them? There's no medical basis for them as the research is still in its infancy but I find them very soothing, especially with a nice cup of Earl Grey tea ^_^

sleepie

Hi scaredikkle
This is a fear so many of us deal with. It makes sense. And anxiety seems to run pretty rampant with most of us, I'm pretty sure it has plenty to do with drinking. I know it does/did for me.
Well, my personal experience was that it became a choice between dealing with potential bad news or going nuts with the anxiety over not knowing.
I eventually went. I need to go again but I'm putting it off. I'll be honest, I didn't get any news of a medical calamity but I did learn that I have one one thing that is driving me nuts as I also suffer greatly with anxiety and OCD. I need to go again too since even so I still didn't quit drinking for some time. I struggle and lately I try to just keep my mind off it, I do this by reading, talking to people here and watching movies... I like light, fun comedies and stand up... how about you?

sleepie

Also... if staying with us here at SR helps you to keep from drinking, I'm glad you're here.
There are a lot of great people on this site, I hope you'll stay

scaredikklegoth

Hey sleepie, yeah, going to the doctors is never fun, especially when you have anxiety. I'll most probably feel a lot better once I've been rather than procrastinating and worrying about it.

I tend to watch a lot of dramas but sometimes I like watching something silly like Friends or Frasier. And yes, I love stand up. My favourite comedians have to be Bill Hicks, Louis CK, Dave Chappelle, Bill Baily, Dylan Moran, I could go on forever! ^_^

sleepie

You may feel a little more ready to cope after a bit more sober time as well, I was 3 weeks sober last I went. The most important thing to do is just abstain from alcohol no matter what the situation.

JeffreyAK

Withdrawal symptoms can go on for a week, and blend into post-acute withdrawal that can come and go for two more years, so it's a long haul and won't suddenly go away. It does gradually get better and better, though.

Dee74

SoberAlky

Look man, I know you mean well - but not everyone responds well to the USMC style of support.

We want Newcomers forum to be a welcoming safe place - straight talk sure... but it's possible to use a little kindness or empathy with it too.

if we're driving people away, then we're not doing our job properly, yeah?

Dee
Moderator
SR