scaredikklegoth

I knew that if I ever did manage to quit drinking that it would have a powerful impact on my friendships. I don't have many friends as I'm an introvert with social anxiety so the thought of losing them makes me feel crappy, even though I know that friends that bugger off and abandon you when you quit drinking weren't friends in the first place.

My social life has always consisted of drinking and it's going to be really weird and exceptionally difficult to socialise without a drink. I know it's worth it but I barely go out as it is.

Already my friends who drink the heaviest have both said 'Oh I don't think you have a problem, hun.' I can't help but think 'Well of course you'd say that; you don't want to look at your own drinking problem.'

I don't even know where I'm going with this. I hope you guys don't mind my ramblings.

Soberwolf

Post away here youl find real friends as you have stopped drinking

120degrees0ut

Youre not rambling...i know exactly what youre talking about. When i was in my 20s and quit drinking...i thought omg life will be boring now. I wish I would have stayed quit back then. In the next ten yrs I saw 4 of my friends/drinking buds die from cirroshis of the liver. If a person is your true friend they will support u on your quitting drinking. Also the deeper I myself sunk into alcoholism..i didnt need a social life. Just a stock of booze and I was happiest just drinking alone. Now today id rather be stone cold sober if i have to be at some social function. I wish U all the best! And myself too for that matter...LOL

UKstudent

I think you're already on a good path when you can see the comments your friends have made for what they are - them avoiding looking at their own drinking habits.
Don't worry about not going out much - I'm a more "stay at home" kind. Not boring or whatever as people may say.. use the money you would have spent and treat yourself to something nice!

ScottFromWI

Don't worry, it's a very, very common feeling/fear to have. In reality though, more people function socially without alcohol than those who do. It just seems like "everyone drinks" because we seek out people who do. And your drinking buddies will of course want to tell you that you don't have a problem, because they lose a drinking buddy if you do quit!

aasharon90

I found it very arkward being around others
that were drinking while I'm in recovery and
living a sober life. In not taking other folks,
friends inventories because its not my place
to do so, but communicationg with those
under the influence of a control substance
while im sober seems weird, strange, false
like.

I like talking with others that are sober
and clean which is the true, genuine person.
If that makes sense.

I cant control what others do, say, think,
but accept them just as they choose to be
and go on about my business of continueing
to live my sober life all to the best of my
human ability.

Addiction to alcohol and drugs is a HUGE
problem in our world today and has been
for a long time. However, many of us have
been given a chance to turn our lives around
and learn about our addiction, be taught about
it and live with a program of recovery
incorporated in all our daily affairs to
achieve healthy, happy, honest lives .

That opportunity is always available
to all those wanting to stop the insanity
that comes with addiction. You like so
many of us are choosing to live instead
of dieing from this destructible illness
that plagues so many.

I saw many folks before me learn to
live each day without drinking or using
and become healthy happy honest folks
and that was what I wanted more than
anything once I entered recovery.

So I followed in the recovery paths
that were layed down for me to follow
and today I am doing the same for many
who are following me and walking beside
me.

Its nice to be in good healthy company
while enjoying my journey in recovery.

I keep my side of the street as clean
as I can and not worry what others are
doing. Staying focus and having fun
in my little santurary right there in
my backyard with many pretty flowers,
awesome birds, butterflies, racoons,
and other little furry friends for company.

Oh, and all my SR folks right here on
my laptop computer.

Dee74

I lost a lot of drinking buddies, but I found out who my real friends were.
I reconnected with old friends too, and made new ones

you'll be ok - noone would stay in recovery if they felt they lost out on the deal - I love my sober life - I could never say that about my drinking life

D

gaffo

In early sobriety, nothing was easy but now I find it much easier to socialize without the drinking.

I had "friends" who just hung out with me because they could look at me and say "at least I don't drink like THAT guy". When I quit and they couldn't, well, they were gone like smoke. Good riddance.

sleepie

Hi scaredikklegoth... I am currently dealing with the same situation. All my friends drink and I have been horribly alone and lonely.
I am not in a hurry to meet people either and it does get difficult after a certain age.
Just know that you are not alone in your aloneness... I know, big consolation.

scaredikklegoth

Thanks for the support everyone. I wouldn't wish this on any of you of course but it's nice to know I'm not alone

Maybe the reason why my friendships have often been unsuccessful is because of all the booze. I never even considered that until tonight. I know how crazy I get when I'm really hammered and yet it never occurred to me before that maybe, just maybe, being off my head all the time was scaring people away. Christ, I've really been in denial for so long. I hope it isn't too late to start over. I'm 28, I should at least have a job and savings and a car. And poor, poor Fiance. It's like the wool fell from my eyes (or the booze leaked out of my brain) and now I'm seeing just how difficult this must've been for him.

Oh god, sorry, another rambling stream-of-consciousness post ^_^

sleepie

Scaredikkle... you mentioned it's hard to get out and meet friends. I was just thinking, I have different limitations and can only manage a few people in my life.
You made me realize that when I was earlier in my drinking days I often had a small smattering of friends who didn't see my drinking as a problem, and one main person as the drinking buddy who I was near joined at the hip with. A very close friend. We even slept in the same bed together, and hung out every single day after work.

But being social was a thing I learned to do while drinking. I have always had horrible social anxiety, I have always had a protective kind of suit on- back in the day it was a punk or goth look, because then at least when people stared I knew why and also it was liberating not to care what people thought. I was still in a panic though. That fear is all coming back since I quit drinking. I miss my goth costume but it wouldn't go over to well on this gray 40 something lol

zjw

I keep meeting people online that are great people its filling the void for me not that i had a ton of local friends to begin with tho but the couple friends i did have it wasnt the healthiest of relationships.

I still want to find some good local ones. but for now it seems like the whole online community is working out ok its kinda different to get used too.