Just before the jump
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
Originally Posted by sleepie 
I wish it did Lately I have to walk a couple times a day for my job and I do additional walking and even if I am exhausted which is often the case I am still just no good at sleep.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 287
just got out of a AA meeting and feel worse. is a lot of depression typical early in sobriety? I am two months sober. I am having a very difficult time staying in the present and not thinking about what I have lost due to alcoholism. Ive pretty much lost the love of my life, she says we are friends, a lot of income in my career and I cant shake this loneliness. I was a heavy daily drinker for many years
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 287
and what is really difficult for me to understand is at the height of my drinking I felt totally alone yet I had my gf and family and friends around me all the time. now in sobriety no one is around. I feel totally alone with the exception of AA but I haven't really made any real connections there either.
pray for strength
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 2,414
Hey Sleepie,
Early this morning I ran to the gas station in my pajamas, an outfit which just so happens to double as exercise clothes. How convenient. I did brush my teeth before leaving the house. An author was reading an excerpt of one of her books on the radio and was explaining her personal history and significance with certain literary themes. My first thought was, "Hey, this is one of Sleepie's favorite authors."
It was really interesting and insightful so I sat and listened for a bit. Now I have to read more. Excellent writing taste, Sleepie. Not that I am surprised. Were your ears burning? Can you guess the author? Actually, if you are still up, maybe pick one of your favorite authors and describe why s/he is a fave? I love considering why certain writers and writing appeal to each of us.
Hang in there.
Early this morning I ran to the gas station in my pajamas, an outfit which just so happens to double as exercise clothes. How convenient. I did brush my teeth before leaving the house. An author was reading an excerpt of one of her books on the radio and was explaining her personal history and significance with certain literary themes. My first thought was, "Hey, this is one of Sleepie's favorite authors."
It was really interesting and insightful so I sat and listened for a bit. Now I have to read more. Excellent writing taste, Sleepie. Not that I am surprised. Were your ears burning? Can you guess the author? Actually, if you are still up, maybe pick one of your favorite authors and describe why s/he is a fave? I love considering why certain writers and writing appeal to each of us.
Hang in there.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Hi Verte, was that Joyce Carol Oates? Do you recall what she was reading from?
I think I like her writing because she really describes the minds of her characters as if she knows what it is like to be them , how they observe things and how they are affected. She also uses a lot of metaphors and I enjoy that.
I think I like her writing because she really describes the minds of her characters as if she knows what it is like to be them , how they observe things and how they are affected. She also uses a lot of metaphors and I enjoy that.
pray for strength
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 2,414
OK, Yes! It was Joyce Carol Oates. At the point I began to listen it sounded as if someone was reading from a chapter of a novel. Stark imagery and seemingly casual recollection that reminded me a lot of the more rural, brief bits of my own childhood experience.
She was reading a snippet from her memoir, The Lost Landscape. What struck me as I sat there in the car was the detail of her observations regarding things that children, while children, assume go unnoticed. Like the casual brutality and bullishness of children. Any number of children could have seen what appeared on the surface, but Ms. Oates grew to consider what was underneath. Like a big ole mystery revealed.
Intriguing! Have you read her memoir yet? What do you think? Hope you are sleeping, Sleepie.
She was reading a snippet from her memoir, The Lost Landscape. What struck me as I sat there in the car was the detail of her observations regarding things that children, while children, assume go unnoticed. Like the casual brutality and bullishness of children. Any number of children could have seen what appeared on the surface, but Ms. Oates grew to consider what was underneath. Like a big ole mystery revealed.
Intriguing! Have you read her memoir yet? What do you think? Hope you are sleeping, Sleepie.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
its hard to believe it can be so bad. I know when i tell people unfamilier with this disease the issues i've had they look at me like i have 6 heads. Like whats wrong with me. But its also really hard to believe that one can go from that to a sober happy healthy life too. Which when i was in the thick of it I never would have believed it could happen.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Originally Posted by davaidavai
Today was beautiful here in NYC. Autumn weather. I wished I had someone I liked to spend it with, and no one was around, and there's no one to call, so then I started thinking how nice 5-8 tall beers would be. Instant company. So instead of going out to the neighborhood bar to drink cranberry juice and be surrounded by the people and their ready-made little circles of friends, I just stayed at home and bore it, ecked out the rest of the day.
Hi.
A long time ago I became active in AA and had a lot of group members as well as a clubhouse to turn to. For most of us isolation is very dangerous.
BE WELL
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Originally Posted by SoberLeigh
Okay.
When I see sleepie, I see:
intelligence
creativity
artistic talents
sensitivity
perceptiveness
intuitiveness
a sense of humor
a kind and giving nature
someone who is articulate with great writing skills
I find you interesting and refreshing.
When I see sleepie, I see:
intelligence
creativity
artistic talents
sensitivity
perceptiveness
intuitiveness
a sense of humor
a kind and giving nature
someone who is articulate with great writing skills
I find you interesting and refreshing.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,126
You are officially a Super Storm Trooper of Recovery.
I hope you can steel yourself for whatever discomfort is ahead of you. But if you still able to work and post here you are going to make it.
The bad news is, however, that when you jump off from that final milligram in a week or so, do try to ease up on your schedule.
For me, the real trials didn't begin until I was about 10 to 14 days benzo free.
A week after jumping off, try to take a couple days off, crawl into that cool, dark room, and pamper yourself.
Seriously, I predict that three weeks from now you will be out of the woods.
And the dirty secret few in recovery will tell you -- Approaching my fifth year of recovery this month, I still think of that cold beer, or perfect joint now and then. Thinking and obsessing are two different things, of course.
I hope you can steel yourself for whatever discomfort is ahead of you. But if you still able to work and post here you are going to make it.
The bad news is, however, that when you jump off from that final milligram in a week or so, do try to ease up on your schedule.
For me, the real trials didn't begin until I was about 10 to 14 days benzo free.
A week after jumping off, try to take a couple days off, crawl into that cool, dark room, and pamper yourself.
Seriously, I predict that three weeks from now you will be out of the woods.
And the dirty secret few in recovery will tell you -- Approaching my fifth year of recovery this month, I still think of that cold beer, or perfect joint now and then. Thinking and obsessing are two different things, of course.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Ok Memphis, I was kind of expecting that it would not be right away as valium stays in your system longer but that definitely after awhile I might not feel too great. It seems like with the taper it's almost as clockwork that I will feel it on day 4 big time and lately day 5 is even worse. Good to know. I am a little worried as when I jump off I will be away from home caring for some creatures- a very low key gig but I sort of scared to be alone in case I start feeling bad. But after a slow taper, I don't think anything drastic like a seizure should happen. I hope!
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