Reset

I recently quit again but still have a long way to go.

A few months ago, a trip with my kid, a few of his friends, and their dads was planned for this weekend. It's an overnight camping trip; something we've done before a few times.

Maybe you can guess the problem: for the dads, a lot of drinking is involved.

They don't know I don't drink anymore, and although that revelation could be a bit awkward I don't really care about what they think. However I'm worried about temptation on a few levels:

- I don't have a lot in common with these guys and the alcohol was always a good social lubricant.
- There are periods of boredom during these trips (for me anyway).
- The main activity at night is playing cards while drinking.

My kid is excited about the trip so I don't want to let him down by bailing.

So do you all have any suggestions as to how I might avoid temptation if/when it arises?

Soberwolf

If your defo going then maybe this might help

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html

Crying Out Now: Thanksgiving Survival Guide

Reset take your phone so you can access SR we'l be with you all the way

& if there is some boredom go the extra mile and try that lil bit harder to interact with the other dads when thier sober ?

I understand your doing this for your kid

Best wishes for the trip reset

doggonecarl

You sound determined to go. Hope that doesn't turn out to be a mistake on your part. If I was newly sober after a return to drinking and if there is any chance that the relapse was because I behaved in a manner that wasn't conducive to my recovery (like being around alcohol), I wouldn't go on the trip.

That's me. You waited until just before the trip to ask how to get through this. If you are determined to stay sober, you will. Maybe not disappointing your son will give you the resolve you need.

If you get through this weekend, I hope you figure out how to stay out of harm's way until you acquire some sober time.

Have fun. Don't drink.

ScottFromWI

I have been in similar situations, albeit with quite a bit more sober time under my belt. If not going isn't an option, keep in mind that this is a trip for your kids as well...and they won't be drinking ( hopefully! ) so it would be perfectly acceptable for you to abstain as well. Tell the other guys you are trying to set an example for your son if they need a reason ;-)

Bring some of your own soft drinks/water and bring some activites you can do yourself if you feel the card playing will be too tempting. Bring some books, hang out with the kids, etc. Bring a separate tent for yourself or to share with your son so you have a "safe" place to go if you choose to stay out of the drinking activities.

gaffo

I don't know if this helps but for me it's much easier to relate my kids, and kids in general, now that I'm sober. I don't always need to get my buzz on. I can concentrate. Maybe you could bring games and hang out at the "kid's table"?

dox

The only way that I have been able to avoid temptation,
is to say that I don't drink any more -- to myself as well as any one else.

Another suggestion is to press the fast-forward button:
How will you feel tomorrow morning if you have a drink tonight?

And definitely bring your own soft drinks -- maybe something really nice and tempting in itself.

I have been on really large campouts with 60 children and 10 adults. It's an annual thing.
Drinking around the campfire after the kids have gone to bed is part of the experience.
I have only once been asked to explain why I don't drink.
I believe the person who asked had reasons to quit for himself.

Gottalife

The AA advice is to do whatever seems best. The recovered acoholic handles situations like this all the time, and in anycase staying sober by avoiding temptation isn't a good long term strategy. However, they suggest, if you are feeling shaky, to work with another alcoholic instead.

In otherwords, recovery first, then rejoin the human race.

Gottalife

Thats what I would do. Kids are great fun!

Music

First off, don't put your "kid" in front of you staying sober. In other words, don't use your "kid" as an excuse to do something you think might endanger you staying sober. If you get drunk and tell him you didn't want to disappoint him, how that going to make him feel? My suggestion is if you don't feel comfortable going, don't go! Plan something else for you and your "kid" to do instead. Be honest with him about why you're uncomfortable. He just might appreciate that you're confiding in him about how you feel.

Reset

Thanks everyone. FWIW I didn't drink. I brought some seltzer and drank that whenever they were drinking beer, and when one guy was making mixed drinks I quietly told him to leave the rum out of mine. He raised an eyebrow and I just said I was taking a break for a while, and his response was "ok I'll just give you some more mixer." So all in all it was smooth. The interesting thing I realized is that there were only a couple of people who really drank all that much, and the rest of them consumed it in relative moderation. And it was great not to have that stress of controlling the drinking to match others' consumption, or worrying about how to get the next drink. It was also great to have a clear head and hold a better conversation.