RoyGBiv

I bet if I looked back at my previous posts from past attempts there's a carbon copy of this:

Day 5 today; physically through the worst, in the "feel hungover when I am not" phase, with night sweats.

Anyway, here comes a weekend, no kids visiting, no significant other, no friends that don't revolve around booze. Only one meeting available, which won't cover much time. I feel trapped in lonesomeness and that's difficult to overcome with the AV telling me it's going to be like this "forever". But I will try..I won't give up easily. Wish me luck.

Hevyn

Good morning, Roy. I'm so glad you wrote about this.

I went through this a few times during my almost 30-year drinking career. I was finally convinced that each & every time I took that first sip it would lead to disaster. The idea of having no willpower and no control was so hard for me to accept - but once I did, I grew strong & determined. Being here at SR, where I could share my thoughts with those who understood, made all the difference. I struggled alone because no one else in my life could take it or leave it - everyone was a social drinker. So please post and read here as much as you need to. You're never alone.

doggonecarl

The last few years of my drinking was done alone...depressed about being alone. How incongruous it that? My drinking isolated me, and I complained about it.

Funny how that all lifted when I got sober.

ScottFromWI

Congrats on Day5 Roy, glad you have made it through the worst of the withdrawals. Regarding the weekend, why not make a concrete plan rather than just leaving it up to luck? If you seek meetings and only one is available, you could do some online ones. A quick google search for "online AA meetings" will provide you with details of how to attend, there is one site in particular that has video/audio chat meetings all day long every day that I've seen before.

You could also use SR - both the forums and the Chat room. People are almost always online here 24/7 form various locations around the globe.

Outside of that, there have to be things you could plan to do - make a written plan if that helps. This thread is a great read with lots and lots of suggestions for "things to do".

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html

RoyGBiv

This should shed more light on why weekends suck for me.

Everything we see and hear in life on TV, on social media, advertising, while we are out and about.... reinforces the thought that if you aren't 'with' someone, you are somehow inferior, or 'missing out', or whatever. Well I truthfully know I am missing out and not with someone because I've been drunk every day for years and lost a wife and family and have no quality friends outside of bars... it's all my fault. But it makes the alone time so soul crushing..

I have to learn to value my time to myself, and not always feel this hopeless sense of time passing in a wasted fashion, just because my phone isn't lighting up with text messages. Just because I don't have a date . I don't have to be out and about trying to change that every... day. Or..ever.

It should be enough to say 5 days in I have other things to worry about, and that 'not being alone' is really a non-worry for a distant future that will take care of itself someday, IF I stay sober. But it isn't enough to know it. It's my trigger. My one Almighty Trigger that my AV uses on me, to great effect.

Thank goodness I never drank at work, that's my one safe haven, but when I leave work Friday afternoon, it's like I am walking into an abyss.

Reset

Hey Roy that's an interesting point about the influence of TV and other media. It goes beyond just being out with other people though; I notice how much the media includes or encourages alcohol consumption.

I don't facebook but I know people talk about "that great whiskey" they tried or show a picture of that cocktail they're about to drink. In most of the forums I visit there's a ton of alcohol talk. And forget about sitcoms or movies. Sports on TV? According to the commercials you can have a cold Coors Light and you will shag any bikini babe that wanders into your line of sight!

Unfortunately none of these media tell you that if you drink like that in real life, you're probably an alcoholic. And it's not funny or cool, it's sad.

There are ways to avoid it though. Get outside even if it's by yourself. Podcasts, videogames, books.

Hang in there, you can do it.

Soberwolf

Dog when I got sober in July 2013 I was alone my wife had left me the 2 constants I had in my life at that point was AA mtns & recovery literature mostly Living sober & the big book I read them both and esp at times like weekends

There are thousands if not millions who got sober alone for whatever reason yes its tough but doable with a solid recovery programme and recovery support

I also agree with Scott's post

ScottFromWI

That's actually false Roy. While there is a lot of bad stuff on TV and the internet, there are also good resources. Look at SR for example.

And in reality, most of what you hear on social media and in adversiting is utterly irrelevant. You could completely turn off all social media and be none the worse for wear - in fact you'd probably be better off. I disabled my facebook account about 3 years ago and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I also don't have any TV service other than an antenna and don't have any subscriptions to any social media site of any kind.

Check out the link in my earlier reply about "things to do". There are a myriad of things you could be doing that dont' involve staring at a screen.

nutztdieliebe

Roy, I do follow you.
And we'll have experiences and encouragements afloat. Whether online or offline.

Dee74

But we know it's false right?

There's always support here so noone is ever really alone

There's been some good suggestions on what you might do this weekend Roy...and as the weekends mount up and you try more and more things you'll meet more and more people, people who'll know you and accept you as a non drinker.

It might be a good idea to search out more AA meetings too? You may have to go to another town but if you're lonely I reckon it's worth it?

D

trachemys

Come join us in the Weekender thread. We band together to get through the weekends.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-11-until.html

waynetheking

Hey roy whats the alternative? Drinking? ..I think being bored is better than 6 feet under. Heres the good news. Sobriety is fun and exciting. Even sitting at home alone. Give it time. It WILL get better. Trust us. In the meantime take action. Go ride a bicycle if you're able. Anything to keep your mind off the alcohol.

RoyGBiv

I made it ! Actually it wasn't like I ever came close to drinking. Saturday night was very tough between the ears as my brain went to work on me, but the rest of the weekend wasn't too bad. I got out of the house twice to go eat and cleaned a bunch.

I'm still waking up feeling terribly hungover, I know this is a phase, just like the night sweats (I went through 6 T-shirts in 2 nights) but there are bursts of energy in there..

ScottFromWI

Glad to hear you made it through the weekend Roy, that's a great start! About the "ghost" hangover...i felt like crap for a while after I quit, just my body undoing all the damage most likely. Don't be afraid to get a checkup too and confirm that things are all OK.

waynetheking

Congrads roy. The night sweats will end soon. Continue eating well. Stay busy. Each day will become habit, not to drink.