usetobeabrave

So, it finally happened. After reading some of the replies in my other posts and reaching out to a friend who goes to AA, I made it to my first AA meeting. I sat in my truck thinking of an excuse to not go in. I went in. At first i sat there not knowing what to expect. I brought a water and some cinnamin candies to give me something to do instead of fidgitting. It was a little bit of a mumble but i realized that the people were not professional speakers. I listened to the speakers without judgement. After a final prayer, an older man asked if this was my first meeting. I said yes and that i would be back. Im not much of a religious person so the prayer did not really equate to me but the stories did. I sat there thinking to myself, i am here for a reason.....to stop drinking forever. Im glad i went and will return.we all had something in common,ALCOHOL

Dee74

good for you usdedtobeabrave

I moved your post here where you'll find more support

D

Gottalife

That is just about the best reason to be in AA. The program is about permanent recovery. Being "in"AA is a little bit different to going "to" AA.

All the best in your journey.

hpdw

I remember my first AA meeting ! I wondered round the building for an hour before I went in but eventually went for it . Like you I didnt know what to expect which is only natural . I was made very welcome and stayed for 2 years .

Keep going back and you will be fine .

IOAA2

Hi.
Most of us here and at AA didn’t know what we didn’t know. That’s one of the reasons to get a temporary sponsor, who is NOT a Valentine and can be so helpful throughout recovery.

Try to remember there is no such thing as a dumb question. And KEEP COMING even when you don’t want to.

BE WELL

Fly N Buy

Good for you, welcome to the rooms.
The thing we have in common is the solution!

Keep coming back

MIRecovery

There is some magical about a

Group Of Drunks

thisisme

Berrybean

So glad you made it to a meeting and heard some useful stuff there.

The people in that room (and all AA rooms) are not necessarily 'religious'. They are praying to a Higher Power of their understanding. For some people this might be 'G.O.D.': Group Of Drunks. For others it might be 'Nature' or just some unknown force that we acknowledge has greater power than us. We tend to suffer from ego-run-riot, and our Higher Power is about recognising that our self-will isn't always the most important or healthy thing for us.

The prayer you heard is more than likely the Serenity prayer, and meditating on it has been beyond useful for me, to become (and stay) both sober and sane.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Remembering that acceptance is key to recovery was really helpful for me, although I still struggle with that wisdom bit and have a tendency to try to control things that are not mine to control. I am (I hope) learning though.

Soberwolf

Congrats Usedtobebrave

George89

I'm also thinking about going to AA. This has come after a summer of broken promises about stopping for a few months, and not doing so. More recently, this week, we had a company event, and there was a lot of drinking involved. I still feel hungover on day three! I have had two day hangovers before, but this is something else.

After talking about quitting for so long, its time to take some affirmative action, and hell, AA is there and I'm thinking why the hell not.

I do have reservations, as it seems like quite a 'drastic' action, and I've been sitting on the steps for a long period of time. I would really like to be able to break out of drinking completely for my health and happiness, and I'm thinking, why not go to a meeting and just see what its like, I've got nothing to lose.

I'm tired of losing time being hungover, and feeling lost and unhappy. I'm tired of making mistakes when I'm drunk, and I'm tired of not acheiving goals in life because of drinking. This is related to my fitness goals and also my motivation at work and ability to get the most out of life.

IOAA2

Hi.
It used to be said a lot that: if AA is not for you, there is the door, your misery is refundable.
Unfortunately there are some who can’t for various reasons handle being sober. Those are mostly people who can’t or are willing to WORK the program.

This getting sober is not a one week or month training period then we graduate and become happy joyous and free, it’s for life tho it does become much easier with time IF we work it.

BE WELL

Berrybean

Yes - I remember it seeming quite a drastic thing to do, but I needed something drastic to help e make such a monumental change that would affect so much (my social life; my relationships (with other heavy drinkers); my routine ; my coping strategies; my way of relaxing; ...)

I can't imagine my life without the fellowship of AA now. The friendships I have made through the rooms; and the peace I am now at with myself; and my ability to cope with day to day hiccups (which I formerly referred to and thought of as catastrophes; and evidence that life conspired against me).

You have nothing at all to lose, and so much to gain. Go for it

Gottalife

When I first went to AA I wanted them to tell me what to do, I wanted them to fix me. Nobody ever did.

Instead they told me what they had done, and I followed their example. It worked.

George89

Thanks a lot Beccybean. I just want to eliminate alcohol from my life. Am I an alcoholic? I don't know, I don't think so in the truest sense. I drink on the weekends primarily, but my drinking causes problems sometimes, and I have been continually having problems quitting smoking as a result of drinking, and then smoking when my guard is down.

It feels like, to stop smoking long term, I need to stop drinking long term, as the drinking is kind of the root cause. I don't feel like alcohol is a massive problem, in that I don't let myself drink often enough for that to happen, I have a large amount of self control, and I don't desire to be drunk all the time.

So my categeory is different to many people - I am not an out an out alcoholic, nor am I a 'normal social drinker'. I am someone in the middle who truly hates the effects of alcohol, and wants to live a sober life now, and not take toxic poisons anymore.

I had a binge on thursday early afternoon to the early hours of friday morning last week. Because I don't binge regularly, its as if my body really felt it. Saturday, Sunday and even today on Monday, I've not been myself. My sleep patterns on the weekend were late, I felt unproductive and tired and just depressed. Today was a typical uggh monday.

I want to harness the free time available to me at any given time, especially on the weekends, to wake up early ie 7-8am, and tidy my flat, go to the gym, and feel good about life and I always feel that is akin to waking early, being productive, and seizing the day. Most people my age in their mid-late twenties would probably think I am 'old' for having that feeling, but I know for me its the truth of living a more happy and joyful life.

Berrybean

Just out of interest, why do you think that it turns into a 'binge' when you do have a drink? Why not just have a few and then stop? Can you do this? Or is the outcome generally, that once you've started you can't stop?

How do you feel about yourself and your life once you have started drinking?

How do you feel after a binge?

For me, these questions le me more to my understanding of my relationship with alcohol than counting how many days a month I drank.

George89

Hi Beccybean, thanks for your questions & curiosity.

Thursday was a company event, and our bosses paid for everything, including drinks, and more or less got us drunk. Not that I am absolved of responsibility, but because I allowed myself to drink, and by extension I let the day unfold and got slowly drunker as the day went on. During the day of drinking, I don't think I got 'too wasted' and I more or less managed to keep a 'cap' on things - at least in proportion to my drunk colleagues.

I did do something stupid which was sleep with a coworker, luckily we didn't go all the way, and we covered tracks but it was a close call. If we slept in and both of us were missing for work it would have been a complete disaster, so it certainly felt like a close call.

My feelings the following days after consuming all the alcohol on that particular day was a feeling of loneliness, depression, a slightly ******** slow sluggish feeling, and a general bleakness.

So its interesting. I think I do spend more time focusing on how 'often' I drink and 'how much' I drink as opposed to what happens when I drink, what are the effects on my life, how does it make me feel, and how do I feel afterwards. So good point, thank-you for helping shift the focus.

Gottalife

I was different too. This passage from the book Alcoholics Anonymous helped me sort things out.

"We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition."

I first tried it a year or so before I recovered. Failed on the first attempt. Went into treatment and became convinced all my problems were due to a mental illness. Strangely enough, the medical staff did not agree with my diagnosis.

Left treatment, did not drink for four months, became extremely miserable. Drank again which, temporarily relieved the misery.

Went" to" AA, stayed sober two weeks and re read that passage. Made another attempt and failed on the first try. Then I "joined" AA and never drank again and this time without the misery I associated with sobriety.

It is about control and choice. If when you really want to you cannot stop entirely or if when you take a drink you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic.

It is progressive. In my first example I certainly didn't fit my idea of an alcholic. I was 21 years old and had a job, some friends and somewhere to live. By 22 I had lost all that and was sleeping in parks. Progressive...

D122y

Would I rather treat myself as an alcoholic and be wrong, than treat myself as a nonalcoholic and be wrong.

AnonSara

AA just provides suggestions through sharing experience, strength and hope. When I pulled my head out of my you-know-what and listened and realized, "duh! this has worked for lots of others before me", started working the program and guess what, it works.