courage2

I don't want to tell "my story." It would just be nice to have a little corner of the forums where people can make -- wow I can't believe I'm writing these words -- little testimonials, and respond to one another's, and ask questions. It's probably already in the back files, but I couldn't find one such thread easily, so...

I haven't had a drink in 19 months. Over the last 33 months, I've been sober about 31. In the 35 years before that, the longest sober stretch I ever had was not nearly that long, & I was pregnant or nursing -- I vividly remember when I found out the father wanted to keep the baby, and I said, "so I guess you don't want me to finish this beer?" Not kidding.

Doing a little math on the walk home today as I like to do, I figured that if I were 1 of a random sample of my 10 relatives cousin or closer who I know are/were alcoholics/addicts, I'd have a heads-or-tails chance of being dead of it.

But, recovery is possible. I don't know 100% recovery -- you can't recover your misspent youth, and who knows what creative faculties and Pollyanna attitudes I once might have had that will never grace the world now. But you can have what I call a decent life, for as long as you choose sobriety.

With the help of these forums, and AA, and psychopharmaceuticals, I'm still alive. The ability to appreciate the value of merely being alive is something I'd very definitely lost, and recovered. This life today makes all the difference I need, today.

Those of you who are sober, how can you describe it those who don't believe it can work?

--SB

Dee74

For anyone who wants some inspiration there's the Stories of Recovery forum.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/stories-recovery/

It's for all those over 12 months in recovery, and there are no responses allowed there - but still a good read.

I doubt I could do better than what I wrote here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-one.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html

If anyone has any questions , fire away.

D

Fly N Buy

I like your comments about what you recovered in sobriety - interesting thoughts come to mind. I try to stay away from what ifs or what can't be recovered most of the time , but not always.

I would describe sobriety and how it can work - or what I've found thus far using a sports analogy. It's how my brain works as I coached / played a lot of baseball.

There were games I participated in that were lost causes - no chance of winning. The majority of the onlookers / fans had given up and left the event with malice and or pity for the probable losers.

Hoping against all hope, slowly the unthinkable starts to occur. The tide starts to turn. Something is maybe happening / different - remaining spectators and players feed off a little success. The game starts to change - there is a momentum swing and the underdog scores a couple runs ....

That feeling that the impossible or at least the improbable becomes reality. The night turns to day and the storm passes. Clean up can begin.

Then one day a smile is witnessed on a face that has not had one in a very long time. Laughter is heard - a level of peace and serenity is found. What we may do to help our loved ones and not what can we take occurs more often.

Maybe our losing team can dig their way out of the cellar - back to .500?! Our memorabilia starts to sell - fans are back in the stands. We start to believe winning is possible ....

I start to believe in team me as do others. The season is not over
Play ball!!!

SoberCAH

Thanks for your great post, courage.

It took me too many years to find my way to the treatment center and then AA.

But I did ultimately find my way and I have tried to look forward and not backward.

I have been blessed beyond belief.

I attribute my sobriety to God and AA, which I regard as an instrument of God.

There is absolutely nothing that I had in my life on the day I entered treatment that I want back.

And there are no steps I have taken, and growing pains I have endured, since then that I care to repeat.

I just want to keep moving forward in recovery.

I appreciate your mentioning psych meds, because sometimes chemical imbalances exist that meds can remedy.

I admire your courage to ask for help from the medical community.

For me, sobriety and recovery are the [B]only[B] way.

In 11 days, it will be 27 years since I took a drink or a drug.

I wasted my youth, like you did, but I aim to make the balance of my life memorable and well-spent.

I hope that you do as well.

courage2

That's a great post, SoberCAH -- I'm sorry I missed it until today. Congratulations in advance of this coming Tuesday on 27 years of continuous sobriety!

Dee74

congrats from me too Sober CAH

D

Johno1967

Thanks for the inspiration. Every Time I feel I'm on a bit of shaky ground I love to hear and read recovery stories and marvel at old timers decades long sobriety. It keeps me grateful and hopeful. Three years on Wednesday for me. Sober Recovery (i.e. your contributions) has been a bit part in me getting here.

Soberwolf

I still pinch myself as I will always remember the days when I thought getting sober was impossible how wrong was I

I love being sober I wouldn't swap trade or exchange it for anything

FarToGo

Posts like this & replies are fantastic support and help to me, much earlier in my journey. Thank you so much for sharing, you give me hope, no faith, that I can do it too.
Bless you xx

strategery

Thank you Courage for starting this thread. I have something to share.

With longer sobriety, one of the things I have found is increased clarity, esp when it comes to matters with alcohol.

The other day, I came to the realization that the tape that AV plays in terms of how "fun" alcohol will be, is really an illusion and a lie. AV was trying to tell me how much "fun" I used to have when drinking. When I started thinking about it, I realized it really was not fun at all. Most of the time, I'd fall asleep on the couch before 10p. The tape AV tries to play in terms of how fun drinking is, is really an illusion that does not reflect reality.

Mark1014

Hi courage, this thread has made me somewhat introspective. I've yet to come up with many words. I'll have a year on October 1, grateful does come to mind. Last year about this time I literally spat on my image in the mirror. I'm not in that place anymore. I hope to find a way out of my own defenses and get to know that guy in the mirror.....find something to like about him. I'm cautiously hopeful and think this second year will be a journey.

fini

for me, it's been slow. but moving.
had some static time of desperation after about four years sober, and while i've never considered drinking again, i did feel desperate for "something".
that's when i slowly started to see AA in a different perspective and started exploring that suggested program.
one of the huge benefits of participating in forums (which i've done now for almost nine years) is that it's like a journal; i can go back to any point in time and see that yes, though slowly, change has come. i'm not where and how i was nine, five or two years ago.

yes; recovery is possible. most certainly.

Ken33xx

I would describe recovery as learning to deal with life on life`s terms in a healthy manner. Might sound simple and probably is for those who never used alcohol as a crutch.

courage2

-- or might sound simple for those who didn't start out looking for work-arounds or learn to think that way early. I don't want to get into that whole chicken-and-egg thing, but the twisted thinking that means my first impulse is never a healthy one -- that way of thinking started years before I tasted alcohol. And since my first drunk was at 10, I guess that means I was weird from the get-go.

For me, "a healthy manner" means a lot of pausing and considering my first impulse -- not blaming myself for the impulse whether it's to drink or something else, but not acting on it either. Also, I work on telling others what I'm doing, which makes it harder to squeeze in lies and secrets.

I guess my way isn't entirely healthy yet in that doesn't go straightforward, but it's starting to be a roundabout path towards decency, which is better than just a straight left towards hell.

Ken33xx

Sounds healthy indeed.

ChiefBromden

I would say: in some ways easier than I thought it would be. Crazy, right?

Let me explain: I had it lodged firmly into my brain that those cravings would always be there, would always get stronger and stronger, and it would just take a weak moment to fall back into the swamp, into total despair. It seemed impossible. The fear of that was soul crushing.

But that is not how it turned out for me (and although I can't talk for others, I bet many who are sober now experienced the same). Cravings became less frequent, and less overwhelming pretty early on. After 6 months, it wasn't about cravings anymore, it was about pangs - but even those were fewer in between.

Today, after 3 years and 4 months, I can't really remember my last craving, and even those pangs turned into a "bet-a-drink-would-be-nice-forget-it-it-wouldn't" 5 second thought wanderings every 3 months or so.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying the whole process was easy. It took a lot of ... dedication, growing, changing, and (what I think was most important) a true honest wish to get and remain sober. But if I had known at the beginning how soon those cravings would become a distant memory, I would have had a lot less anxiety.

So, what I hope is that people, who have the same fears as I had, take away from this is that the cravings will not always be as strong nor as frequent, even if that seems impossible to you right now. Use the tips for urge surfing mentioned above, and know that it will pass. It gets easier. Every time you successfully surf that urge will make it easier for the next time, and before you know it, you will wonder what happened to those all important cravings.

silentrun

I like you the way you are Snarkbunny. Sometimes I would feel cheated out of a childhood. Those years are gone anyway and it doesn't matter if I had birthday parties with ponies or what I really got. It's in the past. I had to look up Pollyanna, of course.

The Pollyanna principle (also called Pollyannaism or positivity bias) is the tendency for people to remember pleasant items more accurately than unpleasant ones.[1] Research[citation needed] indicates that, at the subconscious level, the mind has a tendency to focus on the optimistic while, at the conscious level, it has a tendency to focus on the negative. This subconscious bias towards the positive is often described as the Pollyanna principle.

I found it impossible to be like that while drinking. Sober there is nothing to it. What I would tell someone that thought recovery was a long shot; you want this. You can't possibly imagine how bad you want this. Drinking is like being trapped in an insane asylum forced feed crazy pills. Nothing makes sense in there. Do whatever it takes to escape. People make it out everyday. Get up and walk out.

silentrun

Uh oh this is what else Wiki says about Pollyanna

However, the Pollyanna principle does not apply to individuals suffering from depression or anxiety, who tend to either have more depressive realism or a negative bias

courage2

In my experience, the second year has been very different from the first. They say the first year is physical and the second year is mental. That would be about right for me. Congratulations in advance of your anniversary! I think there's a lot to like about the guy in your mirror.

strategery

Mark-you are doing awesome! You're so close to a year!

Courage-can you explain more by what you mean with the second year being mostly mental?