sleepie

Huge edit just this




If it's any consolation I am finally utilizing the forum for it's intent which is to earnestly pursue sobriety. I am really, really trying this time and it has been years and I just don't want to be another statistic- a statistic of LD, a statistic of an abusive upbringing, a statistic of anxiety disorders and alcoholism. I don't know if there's any hope of that but all of you here have helped me get this far.

suki44883

Oh, sleepie...please don't not post! You are NOT driving anyone nuts. The whole purpose of SR is to be a place where people can post whenever they want; whether it be a vent or a call for help or just to have a place to say what they are feeling.

Please...don't ever feel like you are posting too much! We are here to listen, to empathize, to understand, and sometimes to respond. You are ALWAYS welcome to post, Sleepie! (((HUGS)))

sleepie

Hi Sukie did you read that before I got to edit? I decided to keep it brief.

suki44883

Yeah, I guess I did. But in any case, I truly hope you don't feel like you post too much. We want you to post as much as you feel the need. After all...that's what this place is here for.

sleepie

Whoops busted... I don't want to dominate anyone's attention though. I do try and get over to newcomers and support too though.

A small victory tonight with some karmic consequence I'm sure... I have a major bug phobia. A big old nasty cicada followed me into the apartment tonight, loud and flying and enormous and awful, if you happen to dislike bugs. A perfect nightmare if you are a bug-a-phobe. After many hours it tired itself out and I got as close to it as I ever have to any bug willingly with a small, clear bowl I found here where I am house sitting. I mean I had to work up the nerve to enter the kitchen for near 3 hours. I placed it over the bug. It flapped around and flopped on it's back, it's underside looks reptilian to me and I was soooo willied out! I fled. But I FELT SO GOOD conquering that nasty, nasty critter. But I feel awful it will suffocate. What an awful way to go.

suki44883

Since it is under the bowl, maybe try to slip a plate under there and see if the bug will crawl onto it? Then you can take the plate and bowl outside and set the cicada free?

I remember once, many years ago, I lived in a house with about an acre of land around it and when it would rain, I could see the tarantulas out in the yard. Well, one day, one of them got into the house and I was frantic. I finally steeled up the nerve to do what you did...cover it with a large bowl. I then put a bunch of books on top of the bowl and waited until my fiance got home. He slid a plate under the bowl and then deposited the spider outside. I will always remember that, but I don't think I would ever have the courage to actually do it because I hear the tarantulas can jump! AAAAACK!!!

Tooshabby

Eeeeeewww.....cicadas. Hideous and MENTAL - bad combo. At least suffocation is a lot better than fly spray. It will just go to sleep slowly :-) I always get my partner to take those repulsive monstrosities outside to spare them being poisoned to death. Well done. I couldn't do that at all. 3 hours is legendary in my books!

P.S. A 'professional' should never, ever make you feel like that. Really bad form. Sorry you had to experience that. 2 mgs is fantastic....you are nearly there!

Dee74

I'm really glad to see you trying so hard Sleepie

D

Lovenjoy

this makes me really happy for you sleepie! keep fighting the good fight and it will get better. truly.

FeelingGreat

That's a big motivator for me too sleepie; I don't want to be a helpless statistic, I want to control what I become.

Soberwolf

Sleepie I think you have been making a gigantic effort I see it when you kindly post to others & stuff

With you 5000%

zjw

It sounds like the switch has been thrown? Thats about how I felt I was like I dont wanna be known for being the chimeny smoken fatty beer drinker till i just drop dead and everyone goes Oh yeah he never could quit those vices (if theres anyone left to even say such things). I no longer wanted to be what everyone was laughing at me about. Oh yeah I got made fun of for being fat. I got looked down upon as less then because of my habits and appearance.

Now fast forward many of those same folks who treated me poorly are very uncomfortable around me. and often intimidated by me. Like oh know he showed us and he's full of suprises no telling what he might do.

But it all kinda started with this shift if my head the switch had been thrown i was done going the one way and started heading the other.

courage2

I'm glad you're here & on the forum, sleepie!

least

Always feel free to post. That's why we are here.

2ndhandrose

Eeeeeek, bug phobia trigger Wow, that was brave, sleepie, I can totally relate to that whole storey, right down to your last sentence!!!!!!!

I read a lot more than I post and I see you around SR, with all kinds of positive, and supportive posts. You are insightful and kind and I appreciate your presence here.

Just sayin'
Rose