Incident
tea enthusiast
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Liverpool, UK
Posts: 67
Incident
Hello everyone, hope you're all ok!
Just a little story I want to share with you all to see what you all make of it and if you have any thoughts/advice etc that would be great.
I have just returned from holiday in Las Vegas, which was a really great trip. I was pleased with myself that I didn't drink on the plane (9 hours from the UK) despite this being a situation where I would normally use alcohol as a crutch for stress/boredom.
on the 2nd day in Vegas however, I found myself going up to the counter in a shopping mall and buying a "frozen cocktail"
after I paid for it, I walked with it in my hand for a minute or a two, feeling really bizarre about what I'd just done and having an intense conversation in my head about it.
I took one sip out of it, and began to feel really guilty and disappointed in myself. After walking for a further minute or two, I put it in the bin.
for the rest of the day I feel really disappointed in myself that I'd even bought it, and I still do to some extent.... but I'm glad it went in the bin barely consumed.
what do you make of this?
thanks
.
Just a little story I want to share with you all to see what you all make of it and if you have any thoughts/advice etc that would be great.
I have just returned from holiday in Las Vegas, which was a really great trip. I was pleased with myself that I didn't drink on the plane (9 hours from the UK) despite this being a situation where I would normally use alcohol as a crutch for stress/boredom.
on the 2nd day in Vegas however, I found myself going up to the counter in a shopping mall and buying a "frozen cocktail"
after I paid for it, I walked with it in my hand for a minute or a two, feeling really bizarre about what I'd just done and having an intense conversation in my head about it.
I took one sip out of it, and began to feel really guilty and disappointed in myself. After walking for a further minute or two, I put it in the bin.
for the rest of the day I feel really disappointed in myself that I'd even bought it, and I still do to some extent.... but I'm glad it went in the bin barely consumed.
what do you make of this?
thanks
.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I think you made a bad choice but then made a good one, Student.
It takes a little time for 'to drink' to stop being the default setting.
Often times it required no thought at all for me to continue drinking.
It's not good you bought the drink and had some of it, sure....but the fact you were able to override that auto mechanism in the end, is an encouraging sign
D
It takes a little time for 'to drink' to stop being the default setting.
Often times it required no thought at all for me to continue drinking.
It's not good you bought the drink and had some of it, sure....but the fact you were able to override that auto mechanism in the end, is an encouraging sign
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
In the overall experience this probably is a good remember when experience. It can show how shame and guilt can be so powerful, it keeps too many from recovery. Also it shows how powerful alcohol is along with it being baffling and cunning. It’s been proven to be progressive meaning we have it for good no matter what we think.
BE WELL
In the overall experience this probably is a good remember when experience. It can show how shame and guilt can be so powerful, it keeps too many from recovery. Also it shows how powerful alcohol is along with it being baffling and cunning. It’s been proven to be progressive meaning we have it for good no matter what we think.
BE WELL
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
Glad to hear you had a great trip, Vegas is a hoot , eh?
I recognize all the positive thoughts toward my consumption of alcohol as my AV. I'm just guessing obviously , but it sounds like as you were going up to the counter you may have had thoughts along the lines that " it's Vegas, it's a holiday, a time out so for right now maybe one or two or just drinking here and then.. " but then your more rational thoughts overrode those impulses maybe realized drunk is drunk no matter where or when, that the consequences for drinking are inescapable and then you made a great decision and tossed it. Awesome. Shut the AV down before even walking up to the counter next time, and you'll have one more shot at the money wheel
Did you hit any soft 18 s ?
I recognize all the positive thoughts toward my consumption of alcohol as my AV. I'm just guessing obviously , but it sounds like as you were going up to the counter you may have had thoughts along the lines that " it's Vegas, it's a holiday, a time out so for right now maybe one or two or just drinking here and then.. " but then your more rational thoughts overrode those impulses maybe realized drunk is drunk no matter where or when, that the consequences for drinking are inescapable and then you made a great decision and tossed it. Awesome. Shut the AV down before even walking up to the counter next time, and you'll have one more shot at the money wheel
Did you hit any soft 18 s
?
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
I found myself going up to the counter in a shopping mall and buying a "frozen cocktail"
you found yourself doing this...it's an interesting way of putting it, yes?
i found myself buying booze at times too. was i lost to myself before i found myself doing this? seems there's some truth to that. it wasn't like i'd been aware of having made a conscious and deliberately chosen decision...
the finding ourselves getting booze...that is the scary part.
that you poured out the rest is great, but my focus is on what i/you can and are willing to do to not get "lost" to ourselves that way in the first place.
you found yourself doing this...it's an interesting way of putting it, yes?
i found myself buying booze at times too. was i lost to myself before i found myself doing this? seems there's some truth to that. it wasn't like i'd been aware of having made a conscious and deliberately chosen decision...
the finding ourselves getting booze...that is the scary part.
that you poured out the rest is great, but my focus is on what i/you can and are willing to do to not get "lost" to ourselves that way in the first place.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,183
Originally Posted by UKstudent 
what do you make of this?
The next time the urge comes up, you'll be stronger and maybe not buy it in the first place. The key thing, I think, is, you didn't say "F'it, I've failed, might as well get plowed, I'll quit again later". 
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 38
I too just had a slip up in Las Vegas last night. I wish I would have just thrown it away. Had the power that you did. I did not. Today is new and I begin again. Guilt, shame and the feeling I let myself down. I heard the voice. Wish I would have listened.
Proud of you for throwing that poison away before it was gone. Next time, evil voice, You won't win next time!
Proud of you for throwing that poison away before it was gone. Next time, evil voice, You won't win next time!
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
It looks like you have a very strong desire to quit, but also you are having a battle with the obsession. Alcohol is never far from your thoughts... pleased with your flight because you didn't take a drink etc. Still a lot of thinking about drinking.
My alcoholic mind could take that little slip and say, well, the world didn't end, I didn't develop any craving like they said I would, maybe I can handle a little bit more.
But, as it happens, I no longer suffer from that obsession. When I take a flight, which happens quite a lot these days, I am always glad when it is over, I am grateful for the people I meet, the airline food etc, but drinking or not drinking does not occupy my thoughts.
The trouble with the obsession is that it has the power to trump memory. The memory of the last disaster was never enough to keep me sober. The obsession had to go if I was to have any chance.
My alcoholic mind could take that little slip and say, well, the world didn't end, I didn't develop any craving like they said I would, maybe I can handle a little bit more.
But, as it happens, I no longer suffer from that obsession. When I take a flight, which happens quite a lot these days, I am always glad when it is over, I am grateful for the people I meet, the airline food etc, but drinking or not drinking does not occupy my thoughts.
The trouble with the obsession is that it has the power to trump memory. The memory of the last disaster was never enough to keep me sober. The obsession had to go if I was to have any chance.
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