Cow

Thank you for sharing Elsewares, it give us hope.

I not can listen to music to sleep, for reasons I explain previous. And plus also, anything by Pink Floyd make me sob continuously. Especially entire "The Final Cut" album. Yes, I said album!

sleepie

Thanks elseware. Did you do a slow taper too or a fast one?

Elseware

Pretty fast, Sleepy. Doc dc'd the Klonopin. I had some Valium that ran out soon enough. I stopped cold after that. I had my last dose about Aug 28. The only thing I had going for me was that I wasn't on too high a dose. I have been completely wretched. I have more than one thing going on, though. Bi-polar disorder and all that entails. But I'm slowly getting better. Each day is just the tiniest bit better now. Before the last couple of days it was steadily down.

I don't recommend stopping benzodiazepines abruptly. You could die. I damn near did. But like I said, I've had more than one thing happening. At this point I can't separate it out.

Good luck to you. Good luck to all of you. And have compassion for yourself. Life is hard but we are worthy. I have to believe this.....

Cow

And a little sunflower shall lead us... good on you Elsewares! I total aspire to micro improvements! That beat daily nervous breakdowns. I been diagnose as bi-polar too. Honest, I not even know what that mean. I has no idea what "normal" mental state is. Maybe I had that as young child but no memory of that, so all I know is total crazy train of anguish in the head, and there has to be better than that.

You post is just other reminder that whatever you going through, is somebody else going through too. Is so helpful when people come forth and talk about such thing. Thank you.

sleepie

Geez elseware you really put me to shame, I can't even fake putting on a good face and here you are wishing us all well, just like cow, while going through something really rough...well I am an all star complainer, everyone's gotta be good at something. I am at the last leg of this benzo taper, 1 mg for a week more or so and then done.

Cow

Woah. You has to be kid me, Sleepies. Has you even read my posts? Of course I wish everybody well, but I has total complain, whine, bitch, rage, cry, judge, hate, moan, etc., etc., etc. for years! And I still doing that! You know why? Cuz that how I really feel. And this was first place I ever 'expose' how I really feel. And you know what? Lot of people related. So let just keep on being real, okay? Stop look for things to put you self down. That psss me off, cuz you my friend now and nobody put my friend down, capice?

sleepie

Ok cow you really warm my heart maybe especially when you whine bitch judge rage cry moan and hate
That means a lot to me, what you just said.

Lenina

Sleepie, to the ancients that first studied the stars, they noticed sometimes the planets appeared to be going in reverse. It's just an optical illusion, of course the planets don't go backwards!

Mercury, named after the messenger of the gods has significance to communications, so when Mercury is retrograde, (RX) it means things gets misunderstood, connections get missed, lots of misunderstanding. There's nuance in the particular House or arrangement or alignments of the other planets and stars.

For me, Astrology is like a weather report. When merc is RX is good idea to double check appointment times, carefully read any contracts and pay attention in general. Mercury goes RX about three times a year and we seem to survive it OK even if sometimes frustrated and annoyed.

All around me today was Mercury's little quirks, But because I pay attention and respect the cosmos, it was just interesting!

It's good to see everyone making progress. Sorry I've been so absent, I'm overwhelmed a bit at work, insomnia has been bad. I finally got the first decent night sleep I've had in a while. Still having the hypnic jerks and a few nightmares, the veil is thin this time of year.

I'm proud to see everyone making progress! I get to go home for two days on Monday and that's really not enough.

I'm really glad to see the connection being made about bullies. Why do we continue to bully ourselves long after? We would never permit anyone to bully our friends. How do we stop them from bullying themselves?

Enough of me. I have a stack of email to see to and its boring.

Love from Lenina

sleepie

Thank you Lenina! Now that made sense. I will follow your advice

Cow

Wow. Well I guess you was getting some work done while you absent, Lenina. Those is some awesome ivory boobs.

courage2

If it were up to me, I'd be mostly silicon & silicone, and so less prey to the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to.

Lenina

Cow, and you call me crazy. I may have mentioned I changed my hairstyle too. You don't like the cat?

But, just for the record....the air con isn't working so well, the phone won't connect to the front desk nor accept a wake up call setting.

I hope sleep comes tonight. I'm too old for this stuff. My doctor way back when bumped up the vitamin D at bedtime with calcium and magnesium. It helps some, I think.

Love from Lenina

Cow

I adores you with any hair, or boobs, Lenina.

Okay, it only 7:30 but I done. Was crazy day. I President of my community and our chiller go down and I have to find repair or rent equipment to get us through weekend and I have to deal with all this vendors and take call from worry residents and plus also I gotta feed and walk that freaking princess chihuahua and I running on no sleep.

So, I just gonna go to bed, with no expectation of sleep, I just gonna breathe and rest and not get up until at least 5AM, even if I go crazy, which I will, but whatever, I already crazy and you will not be able to tell difference.

~Goodnight to all sweet doves (and snarky bunnies)

walkbeformakrun

Hey Shabs,

Back before I discovered that caffeine could keep you awake at night (DOH!) I used to fall asleep with the NAOA weather station on. That was some kind of government weather thing that had a monotone voice repeatedly giving very basic weather statistics over and over but changing slightly over time. All my friends were amazed (bored)at how well I understood what would happen the next day with respect to weather.

Then I discovered BBC in the 80's. They had a short wave radio, all news all night, station. Again just basic monotone talking but about world news. That made for some really crazy dreams. One minute I'd be in India, then outer space and then next Africa. Wild stuff.

walkbeformakrun

This might be true for you and even most people. However, I've learned the hard way it's not so true for me. Lots of times I tell my best friend, or therapist, or post on some internet board, some things in my head and they are all, "WTF Walk! You are one messed up dude!"

Cow

Well you has to know you audience, Walk! I not think this ever would happen to you here.

And plus also, is maybe time for new therapist and best friend.

Lenina

Has anyone seen our dear little Puffy? I'm sending a shout out for her.

Love from Lenina

puffy

I'm here Lenina! It was a tough stressful week. I've been trying to put out fires. My husband got in a car accident and I was dealing with the insurance company begging for them to not total it. No one was hurt and I finally got the good news yesterday that they will repair it.
Otherwise, I feel good.

And I like your kitty... it was the first thing I noticed.
Puffy

Lenina

(((((Puffy)))). Sorry you're having to deal with the insurance company. I think they are all crooks. So this is why my hubs handles it. He already told them I'm not the one they want to talk to and stall around. I have little patience for their crapola. We were involved in an incident where a driver lost control and hit three parked cars, totaled them and the cars were pushed into ours. Some damage but not bad. The interesting thing was all the cars involved where covered by the same insurance carrier.

Good to see you and glad you like the big Orange cat!

Love from Lenina

Tooshabby

Ha ha, that's funny, Walk, amazing your friends with weather reports the next day :-)

Crazy is the new normal around these parts. I feel so at home :-D

Lenina, that avatar is seriously impressive. It kind of makes me expect you will be able to solve all the world's problems! Plus I love orange cats.