RoyGBiv

so I've set a date to stop, after the labor day weekend. yes that's an excuse to wait however my overarching issue, which my AV uses against me to great success, is my being mid 40s, divorced, and alone. A 3 day weekend with no booze, yet also no plans, no (non drinking) friends, no wife or girlfriend, just seems like too much to swallow at once emotionally.

To that end, over the last month or so, I've quit any pretense of any relationship or dating anyone whatsoever. I know I am toxic.. and I also know I am similarly addicted to female attention, and I have a steady string of bad and failed starts to show for it.

So now finally, there is no one texting me, no one calling. I'm here, with me, with no outside attention to stroke my ego. No need to even glance at my phone all evening as there will be nothing there. I am slowly getting used to it. Maybe. I still had a bartender to talk to tonight though.

But I think it's what I have to do, yet I am so just stuck here with me. And in 7 days there will be no booze to keep me company. Daunting feeling and I am not even there yet.

just venting. thanks for listening virtual friends.

Dee74

Why wait to start a new life Roy?

You want to quit, you know you should...there's never an easy time to quit...
so c'mon man - quit. Today.

You'll look back and be glad you did

D

Nevertheless

Iduno,a 3 day weekend sounds like the perfect time to quit to me. No crap from work,no temptation on the way home from work. And after that a 4 day work week.
I have disagreed with Dee on this topic in the past. But i have to somewhat agree with him here. I honestly think the little devil on your shoulder is telling you to put it off.
I knew most of the stuff that triggered me to drink,and i did my best to have all that stuff taken care of when I quit.
I myself think it's important to plan out the best time to have success. For me,once i quit,and then gave in. I lost a lot of my willpower. I would kind of get the idea I couldn't make it last week,so what makes me think I can do it this week.
You have to treat this like a war,and like you are fighting for your life (in reality most of us really are). And I think planning on when to start the war is a pretty good idea,and 3 days off sounds like a good time to start to me.

Fred

ScottFromWI

I'd wager the real overarching issue is that you are an alcoholic who refuses to acknowledge that fact. Do you remember writing this a week ago?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...new-level.html

I was going to quit tomorrow for years too. Not until I accepted my fate and quit today did anything start getting better. Hope you can find the strength to put down the bottle.

Soberwolf

If your ready to stop make a day 1 make it count

advbike

I understand that. I found many reasons to put off my quit day.. for years.. And then relapsed many times. I finally just did it without any planning because I drank too much one night, hit on a good friend of mine, and was thoroughly disgusted with myself. Sometimes you just have take the plunge and do it. 9/1 would be a great quit date too

doggonecarl

I'm in the camp that believes that planning a future quit date is just a plan to keep drinking.

That said, I have read here where some folks have set future quit dates, reached that date, and quit. They aren't the majority, though.

Good luck.

Berrybean

Looking at your past threads, being alone and having too much time on your hands really didn't help your sobriety. (I also know that time alone was also something that I hated / feared before I started recovery properly and stopped hating myself - now I'm pretty happy to be alone. Or with others)

You're on your 7 day count down. Perhaps this is a good time to develop a plan to keep you on track. There are some threads on here with great ideas.
What kind of things are there for people to do (sober) where you live? Maybe think about volunteering; sports; courses - as well as recovery programs. AA is worth another shot surely - and maybe get a bit more involved this time? Service; sponsor; step work; meeting up with members you get on with for coffee or days out... the meetings are the tip of the iceberg really.

Good luck on your new sober journey, whenever you decide to embark on it.

dox

Hopefully, there will be no booze to keep you isolated;

the first day of the rest of your life.

The booze is toxic;

not you.

NestWasEmpty

Roy I replied to that post that Scot put a link to here . After seeing & reading this new post from you about waiting for that right date to quit .
I didn't reply right away , I sat & thought of some way to help you decide when the best time would be .
I went back & added to my signature line . In hopes you & others will decide TODAY is the quit day - Not in the future ...

Dharma33

Roy,

I agree with the sentiments above. Quit. Today.

One thing you can change, by Labor Day, is in your complete control. You can quit drinking today, and by then have an entire week sober under your belt.

Not until you are sober for a length of time will you start to feel like you are not toxic. And through that you will start to find people in your life again.