sleepie

is what I've got.
been alone for 3 days now have not spoken to a soul except for the man who made my coffee and the check out woman at the market.
Working away from home.
Youtube Netflix audiobooks just are not cutting it. I am sad and lonely.
I don't have anyone in life.
My sort of friends are all drinkers and they think I am mad at them because I never go over there anymore.

JK130

Sad and lonely sucks...but it's better than drunk or high. Glad you came to visit on sr��

sleepie

I always visit on SR
I have not showered in a week.
I can muster the energy to take care of the few daily tasks I have for work and that's it.

I gained so much weight on anti depressants and it took 2 years to get it off and I still don't look the same.
And I was more depressed being obese so I am not doing that again.
Also I know I am not depressed, I am just lonely, alone and have no family or friends really at this point.
No family as I went No Contact years ago out of total necessity.

peanut44

I hear ya. I had to basically estrange my family some years ago. The only 1 i got along with was my dad and he died a few years ago. It's funny how we can be surrounded by people all day and yet still be sad and lonely.

Reaching out here does help me. When my husband and i moved here awhile back, i never told anyone about my past. Not the detox, the rehab, the pills, methadone clinic. So nobody REALLY knows me. Even my husband. He just doesn't get it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that your not alone feeling alone if that helps!

Delfin

I know what you mean. I'm trying to figure out how to make new friends who are booze-free. Maybe I'll try one of those meet-up websites and try a new activity too. We'll see.

Delfin

sleepie

Used to drink and watch tv or get out a little and at a bar so now I am just alone.
insomnia gets worse when I am lonely too.
I think if I had not been essentially alone for the better part of my life before drinking, due to being socially ostracized, maybe because of a neurological disorder and LD, I wouldn't feel so bad about being alone now.
But a lifetime is a long time to be alone.
I had few friends before I drank.
Don't know that I'll be making more at this point.

FeelingGreat

Sleepie, why not shower, was your hair, and dress nicely? Just do it step-by-step. That will raise your morale a little bit.
If it seems like an effort, break it up into steps so you don't have to take on too much at one time.
Do you have a long-term mental health plan? If not, why not put one together with the help of a therapist?

sleepie

Well, as far as nice clothes... don't have any and no budget for shopping.
Ok I really want to shower but where I am staying/working there has been a huge, huge watrbug/beetle/roach looking thing camped out for 2 days and I have an enormous bug phobia :/

sleepie

Was really ready to at least tackle the shower yesterday but the bug.

Dee74

I hope things will improve sleepie.
Can you make a bit of noise or something and make the bug move out of the shower?

D

sleepie

lol thanks... problem solving the bug.
i know it sounds silly but I am terrified of it and if I go near it it starts scrabbling around and the noise gives me shivers, it can't get up the sides of the tub.
i may have to wait til I get back home tomorrow.

Holds1325

Had a horrible day today but it got better once I wrote a plan down and made a goal to stick to it for a week and see if anything improves, keeps ur mind busy and focused.

For example, exercise times, starting supplements, meal planning and social planning etc.

Try it for a week and see if anything improves but you have to stick to it no matter what.

sleepie

What is on it Holds?

Soberwolf

Sleepie if you ever want to talk night or day I'm always there feel free to msg as much as you want

Good plan Holds

Berrybean

Where are you staying Sleepie? If it's a hotel or B&B or similar it's perfectly okay to go and ask at reception for someone to come and help you get rid of the bug.

If you were at home and there was a bug in the bathroom, how would you deal with it? I think you've got yourself on a low ebb and are feeling like you pretty much can't deal with anything.

Where is the place? Is there an AA meeting you could go to perhaps? Just to break the back of the silence?

x

kamm

((((Sleepie))))

Sorry you are feeling so lonely but really glad you are continuing in your sobriety and chose to reach out here. Sober online "friends" trump drunk irl "friends" any day.

I know what it feels like to have your body just not be the same. I struggled with depression and ate my feelings... to the end of losing and gaining hundreds of pounds over the last 5 years. My body will never be the same. Ever. but, and this is a big BUT, my body is still capable of amazing things... And it can carry me from place to place and lift heavy objects and do hundreds of other little things that I so easily forget. Your's can too. Be gentle with youself because you deserve it.

Today start small. Go for a walk outside for 10 minutes. If you're miserable after that go back in but if you feel like you can keep walking see if you can go for 20 minutes. The sunshine and endorphins can only help. Sending you big virtual hugs. Glad you get to go home soon.

zjw

I can only sort of relate. I have no local friends and i'm not all that social with my family short of who lives under my roof. But I get pretty stinking lonely sometimes. I'll go to do something or some activity and think *sigh* it'd be ice to have a friend. and I'll think about a friend I once had or something and wish we where still friends etc..

A lot of it is out of sight out of mind for me tho if i keep it that way it doesnt bother me too much.

I can relate on the lack of showering too. Thankfully after I run i like a shower or I'll shower just to warm up when its cold out. But it was not always like that and those are he only reasons i'll shower. For the longest time i'd go weeks on end sometimes with no showers and I simply did not care. I isolated myself and isolated myself further by not showering etc..

I've read isolating can be bad. I dunno I dont leave the house for days and weeks on end at times even now. But I''ll at least go out in my yard or go outside for a run to gt some fresh air and sunshine.

Even tho I dont have friends I do still go hit the store and try and be amongst the living it can help.

Try not to dwell on the lack of friends thing too much. There are many reasons I like NOT having friends as well. For example i dont have to put up with anyones stinking drama. Or play any games with people. My wife just complained about a friend who basicly invited her kid over to our house rather rudely. Me? i have no friends I dont have to worry about that sorta stuff. Dont have to worrry about where tom dick or harry would like to go tonight dont have to worry about if they want chinese or italian dont care I get to go do wtvr it is i wanna do unhindered by someone elses desires etc.. It can be nice to not have to deal with others as well.

But when you get lonely try and chin up and not dwell on it too much. thats what I do anyhow.

Holds1325

The plan?

Well my wife and I decided to get counseling and we've been saying we are going to do it for weeks now but we decided to actually do it this time.

Whenever I'm in one of my moods I don't eat at all, and when I do eat, its usually junk, so one of my plans for this week is to eat vegetables at least 2 meals of the day.

I was taking supplements a couple weeks ago but when I fell back into my anxiety I stopped so I need to start taking them again including some supplements that I am going to try for anxiety rather than going with the Meds since I get scared of those and the anti-anxiety meds only made me worse.

Also I'm starting to drink tea, take some herbal sleep aids and such to help stay asleep, started them last night and stayed sleeping for 5 1/2 hours which is alot better than going to bed at 11 and waking up at 1am.

Going to try and walk a mile per day at least.

I am also forcing myself to get more involved in my church as well since whenever I'm in my depressed/anxious mood I just want to hole up and not do anything. Honestly, when I go to church/biblestudy or just talk with some church-goers it doesn't cure me per se but it does help a lot and puts me in a better mood.

Also going to try and go to the Dr regularly.

More importantly when I'm in whatever mood I need to get down and pray and submit myself to God because I can't do this on my own. Also I need to do something, read my Bible, talk to someone, come on here, go for a walk etc. then just lay there and let my thoughts run all over me to the point where I just break down and cry. I did that last night but felt much better once I took action.

Mostly, I need to give it time, and that's the hardest part about all of this.

TrixMixer

Ya know, Sleepie, when we are in a funk we can find excuses for not doing Anything!

The bathing seems a simple enough start. give the BUG the bath tub you use the sink. It will take a little longer to get washed, but at least you will be clean. You might actually feel better and more positive!

cejay

I can relate to isolating, funks and the "L."

I moved across the continent and knew nobody. When my GF dumped me I officially had nobody to talk to.

I tried going to the gym and while the exercise makes me feel better it does not cure the L for me. In fact I find people at my gym to be sorta rude.

The L was about 50% of the motivator for me to break down and try AA which was the best decision I ever made.

I still get into funks. I do the opposite of what I feel like I should do, so I work out and go to a meeting and then I feel better.

Best of luck.

CJ.