35 Days!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 25
35 Days!
I just want to give a great big thank you to all the people on here who have shared their stories and asked the tough questions and given great answers.
I've been lurking on here for a few months now as I started my road to recovery in April. That was when I decided that the years of abuse were not worth it any more. I started counting days of not drinking and got to 21 (which was amazing at the time as I think it had been maybe 4 years since I could say I had gotten to 5). Stupidly I decided to test my luck and of course backslid into the cycle.
But at this time I was drinking with a differend mindset because I knew I didn't want to be. I wasn't enjoying it. I wanted to stop again.
So after a few months of I wouldn't say full blown binging but def drinking on and off too much (one night on, maybe 3 nights off), I finally decided July 16 was it.
I'm lucky because I work from home, which allows me to adjust mainly in peace. And the first few days this time were hell. Shakes, sweats, some hallucinating (just like flickering lights in my peripheral vision) all the fun stuff. I should have tapered but I didn't know that at the time. I'm dealing with some good PAWS right now including exhaustion, anxiety (really ramped up) and some vision/dizziness issues but each of those have been improving. I mean I still have them, but they are much more improved than say 2 weeks ago.
So I know that I'm getting better. I know my body is repairing it's damage (I had blood work up...was good except for high triglycerides which I'm working on, and a brain MRI was clean) that I caused it and it's just "one day at a time" as they say. I totally have a newfound respect for that phrase.
So again, thank you all who have posted, and have worked hard on your own recoveries and are working hard for yourself and others. It really is motivating and it's very appreciated. You all
I've been lurking on here for a few months now as I started my road to recovery in April. That was when I decided that the years of abuse were not worth it any more. I started counting days of not drinking and got to 21 (which was amazing at the time as I think it had been maybe 4 years since I could say I had gotten to 5). Stupidly I decided to test my luck and of course backslid into the cycle.
But at this time I was drinking with a differend mindset because I knew I didn't want to be. I wasn't enjoying it. I wanted to stop again.
So after a few months of I wouldn't say full blown binging but def drinking on and off too much (one night on, maybe 3 nights off), I finally decided July 16 was it.
I'm lucky because I work from home, which allows me to adjust mainly in peace. And the first few days this time were hell. Shakes, sweats, some hallucinating (just like flickering lights in my peripheral vision) all the fun stuff. I should have tapered but I didn't know that at the time. I'm dealing with some good PAWS right now including exhaustion, anxiety (really ramped up) and some vision/dizziness issues but each of those have been improving. I mean I still have them, but they are much more improved than say 2 weeks ago.
So I know that I'm getting better. I know my body is repairing it's damage (I had blood work up...was good except for high triglycerides which I'm working on, and a brain MRI was clean) that I caused it and it's just "one day at a time" as they say. I totally have a newfound respect for that phrase.
So again, thank you all who have posted, and have worked hard on your own recoveries and are working hard for yourself and others. It really is motivating and it's very appreciated. You all
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 82
Originally Posted by fishface 
But at this time I was drinking with a differend mindset because I knew I didn't want to be. I wasn't enjoying it. I wanted to stop again.
So I know that I'm getting better. I know my body is repairing it's damage (I had blood work up...was good except for high triglycerides which I'm working on, and a brain MRI was clean) that I caused it and it's just "one day at a time" as they say. I totally have a newfound respect for that phrase.
So I know that I'm getting better. I know my body is repairing it's damage (I had blood work up...was good except for high triglycerides which I'm working on, and a brain MRI was clean) that I caused it and it's just "one day at a time" as they say. I totally have a newfound respect for that phrase.
Good job.
I enjoyed reading what you are *doing* - besides just not drinking. Applying principles and suggestions of others who have gone before you. Doctor check-up, etc. But what I found especially delightful was your *experience* of a saying. I used to call it 'finding the under-belly'. Sometimes it's a deep internalization of it; other times it's seeing the saying with a different understanding. More than once, a saying I once thought trite and silly....saved my sobriety when it came to me in a moment of 'waffling'...and I saw the 'way out' again.
Way to go! Don't give up, no matter what. Right Desire is very powerful...the path will open. Sometimes it feels like those metal plates ones pushes in a hospital and there's a hesitation before we see the 'opening'. Hang on. Look around. Help can come from in many forms/places.
"Awareness is the answer; willingness to see, the key."
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 25
37 it is. 
I've still been dealing with dizziness. Also still very tired. It seems that even with 8-9 hours of sleep (which is awesome because for years I would get maybe 7 or so but wake up every couple of hours...never restful) I'm just not getting enough.
Pretty sure it's still just the body adjusting. Just trying to keep my mind off of it.
I've still been dealing with dizziness. Also still very tired. It seems that even with 8-9 hours of sleep (which is awesome because for years I would get maybe 7 or so but wake up every couple of hours...never restful) I'm just not getting enough. Pretty sure it's still just the body adjusting. Just trying to keep my mind off of it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 464
I feel exactly the same way, last night i got about 9 hours and woke up like I could sleep for another 9
Used alcohol to knock me out for about 7 years so its going to take some time to adjust, Some nights i dont get much but im glad to sleep as much as I do
Used alcohol to knock me out for about 7 years so its going to take some time to adjust, Some nights i dont get much but im glad to sleep as much as I do
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