The "A" Word...
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: highland beach, florida
Posts: 649
Originally Posted by Venecia 
This is something of an evergreen topic here on SR. You'll probably hear from some that labeling isn't helpful and that perspectives are personal.
I respect all opinions on SR.
My own experience is this: Defining my problem with anything less than the term "alcoholic" served as an emotional escape hatch. Saying "I drink too much" kept me lodged in the delusion that what was happening wasn't that bad, a dangerous lie I told myself for a long time.
Eventually, I had to acknowledge that the volume and frequency of my drinking meant that I was an alcoholic. Plain and simple. An inescapable truth.
Admitting that to myself was a moment of honesty that helped me take action. It didn't happen overnight but it happened.
I'm sorry that you're in a sad place. There is life after alcoholism, both for the alcoholic and people damaged in its wake. Take care.
I respect all opinions on SR.
My own experience is this: Defining my problem with anything less than the term "alcoholic" served as an emotional escape hatch. Saying "I drink too much" kept me lodged in the delusion that what was happening wasn't that bad, a dangerous lie I told myself for a long time.
Eventually, I had to acknowledge that the volume and frequency of my drinking meant that I was an alcoholic. Plain and simple. An inescapable truth.
Admitting that to myself was a moment of honesty that helped me take action. It didn't happen overnight but it happened.
I'm sorry that you're in a sad place. There is life after alcoholism, both for the alcoholic and people damaged in its wake. Take care.
Just wanted to say I think this was an excellent post and could not have said it better , so decided to just Quote you again. You said exactly what I was thinking but said it much more eloquently than I would have.
Trix
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 70
Originally Posted by mpr
People tend to think of alcoholics as 24-7 drinkers, guzzling non stop until passing out. The truth is while you do have alcoholics like that you also have the weekend alcoholics, the 3 drink a night alcoholic, the once a month binge alcoholic and so on. There are so many degrees and type of alcoholic. People often compare themselves to the worst type and think well I'm not like him therefore I'm not an alcoholic.
Like others have said it's just a label. You can call yourself an alien but your problem remains the same. I think accepting being an alcoholic (if you are one of course) is just part of recovery... You can beat around the bush for only so long, eventually it needs to be addressed.
Like others have said it's just a label. You can call yourself an alien but your problem remains the same. I think accepting being an alcoholic (if you are one of course) is just part of recovery... You can beat around the bush for only so long, eventually it needs to be addressed.
Here's what I'm wondering. Let's say there's a beer festival in town once a month (there isn't but let's say there is). Bob goes to the beer fest every month and drinks too much, cabs it home and passes out. However, Bob doesn't think much about beer or alcohol in between beer festivals. He may have a beer here or there the same way he'd grab a soda or iced tea or bottle of water when thirsty or having a meal. Does Bob have a drinking problem?
What I think I'm trying to get is, it's not the fact that alcohol is consumed, or even consumed with any sort of pattern or regularity in life, that defines this condition. It seems to be mostly a couple things. Two of the keys being - 1) You can't have one drink without wanting more or at least can't be sure that first drink won't turn into a binge and 2) Having that urge to drink alcohol almost all the time, or a very difficult time resisting it.
My GF could actually not stand to be in the presence of someone who was consuming alcohol unless she was too. It actually prevented me from having the occasional beer at home myself, which I used to do. Because, if I cracked open a bottle of beer, there was NO WAY she wasn't going to do the same. Heck, if she knew I was in the basement having a beer, she'd need a beer. If she knew I was in Milwaukee having a beer, she'd need a beer.
Sorry, I'm digressing. I guess what I am trying to say here is that not so much the "A" word as a level, in so much as the CONDITION, is what we should talk about, and not the label.
I've always been able to say no to a drink if I didn't want one, I've never felt the "pull" of a 6 pack sitting in my fridge calling me to drink it all, I've never had to worry that my first drink would lead to disaster...These are all things that were true for her, and the reason I think she has this problem..,a problem that requires no label, but a problem all the same.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Europe
Posts: 291
Bob may or may not qualify, but there's a twist; after a while Bob may get into a fight, or take his car anyway as the cabbie has banned him for puking in his vehicle. He might get a DUI. Or start going to festivals in the next town.
In short: problems with alcohol tend to be progressive. After a while, it becomes obvious. Now, whether or not we will then call Bob an alcoholic is less important as the fact that Bob will look for and accept some help. Or not.
FWIW I labeled myself alcoholic, so that I could take it serious, and get help, which is less obvious when "you sometimes have a bit of a drinking problem".
Good luck, and look after yourself/protect yourself.
In short: problems with alcohol tend to be progressive. After a while, it becomes obvious. Now, whether or not we will then call Bob an alcoholic is less important as the fact that Bob will look for and accept some help. Or not.
FWIW I labeled myself alcoholic, so that I could take it serious, and get help, which is less obvious when "you sometimes have a bit of a drinking problem".
Good luck, and look after yourself/protect yourself.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 740
Originally Posted by mpr
People tend to think of alcoholics as 24-7 drinkers, guzzling non stop until passing out. The truth is while you do have alcoholics like that you also have the weekend alcoholics, the 3 drink a night alcoholic, the once a month binge alcoholic and so on. There are so many degrees and type of alcoholic. People often compare themselves to the worst type and think well I'm not like him therefore I'm not an alcoholic.
Like others have said it's just a label. You can call yourself an alien but your problem remains the same. I think accepting being an alcoholic (if you are one of course) is just part of recovery... You can beat around the bush for only so long, eventually it needs to be addressed.
Like others have said it's just a label. You can call yourself an alien but your problem remains the same. I think accepting being an alcoholic (if you are one of course) is just part of recovery... You can beat around the bush for only so long, eventually it needs to be addressed.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
Originally Posted by ChiefBromden
Bob may or may not qualify, but there's a twist; after a while Bob may get into a fight, or take his car anyway as the cabbie has banned him for puking in his vehicle. He might get a DUI. Or start going to festivals in the next town.
In short: problems with alcohol tend to be progressive. After a while, it becomes obvious. Now, whether or not we will then call Bob an alcoholic is less important as the fact that Bob will look for and accept some help. Or not.
FWIW I labeled myself alcoholic, so that I could take it serious, and get help, which is less obvious when "you sometimes have a bit of a drinking problem".
Good luck, and look after yourself/protect yourself.
In short: problems with alcohol tend to be progressive. After a while, it becomes obvious. Now, whether or not we will then call Bob an alcoholic is less important as the fact that Bob will look for and accept some help. Or not.
FWIW I labeled myself alcoholic, so that I could take it serious, and get help, which is less obvious when "you sometimes have a bit of a drinking problem".
Good luck, and look after yourself/protect yourself.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
This can be a never ending topic. I’ve been sober a long time and at meetings introduce myself as an alcoholic though I don’t care for the word because of some of the reasons above.
I can more easily say “I cannot drink in safety or If I drink I cannot guarantee the result.”
No matter what it’s called I need to stay away from drinking it no matter what.
There are some who are heavy drinkers who can stop if they want to with no serious complications and carry on with life.
BE WELL
I can more easily say “I cannot drink in safety or If I drink I cannot guarantee the result.”
No matter what it’s called I need to stay away from drinking it no matter what.
There are some who are heavy drinkers who can stop if they want to with no serious complications and carry on with life.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Earth
Posts: 607
It's up to the person with the problem to decide if they'd like to live with such a label for the rest of their life. To those that believe that it is an illness instead of just a misguided, self destructive compulsion, I guess it provides a name for their incurable disease and a way out of accepting full responsibility.
I guess if it makes people happy to be identified by their dysfunctions, past or present, so be it. It's really not anyone's business to label someone else. To me it's just not productive to spend my life identifying myself by personal struggles. It may be part of me, but it's not who I am.
Bottom line is to own to your problems, take care of them, and get on with life. However you want to identify yourself is up to you.
I guess if it makes people happy to be identified by their dysfunctions, past or present, so be it. It's really not anyone's business to label someone else. To me it's just not productive to spend my life identifying myself by personal struggles. It may be part of me, but it's not who I am.
Bottom line is to own to your problems, take care of them, and get on with life. However you want to identify yourself is up to you.
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