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I think my drinking pushed someone away

Old 07-31-2015, 05:31 PM
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I think my drinking pushed someone away

met someone I was interested in, and it was going fairly well.
I tried to subtly mention that I wasn't strong with alcohol and couldn't handle it etc - and was deluding myself thinking that I wouldn't make a drunken fool of myself.

I did.

They have expressed concern and told me they care and want me to get help. I joined this site which has given me a great outlet and it's almost two weeks since I touched any alcohol (so I am very happy about that)
I just feel kinda sad that perhaps this potential partner is now distancing themselves due to perceived issues or whatever surrounding me.

dno, just sharing my feelings really, getting it off my chest.
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Old 07-31-2015, 06:03 PM
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You've made great start! I know you'll meet and make lots of friends who appreciate the new you!
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Old 07-31-2015, 06:04 PM
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I pushed a lot of people away too UKStudent.

Most of those with whom I had a strong relationship came back after a while, once it was clear I had changed and the 'real me' was back

D
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Old 07-31-2015, 06:14 PM
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People come back when they see you working a solid program of recovery and some sober time
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Old 07-31-2015, 06:17 PM
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I lost many good ones due to my running with the liquid devil.

The good news -- many have came back around since I got sober.

MM
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Old 08-01-2015, 02:41 PM
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I wouldn't worry about it, UKstudent. There are lots of other folks and opportunities out there. And now may not be the best time to be getting romantically involved...take the time to focus on yourself and your recovery.

Are you in Manchester, btw? I went to uni there 20 years ago. But I dropped out due to my drinking & drugging.

And have you checked out any AA meetings? They're not for everyone, but for a lot of us, the AA programme really works...feel free to PM me if you want...I wasn't much older than you probably are when I got sober....and 17 years later, I'm still sober, with no relapses.
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Old 08-02-2015, 01:19 AM
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I agree with D & congratulations on your near 2 week milestone
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Old 08-02-2015, 02:02 AM
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If I were newly dating and still drinking, I would have destroyed it spectacular fashion and quickly.

Period.
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Old 08-02-2015, 03:41 AM
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We all make mistakes , but that was the right thing to do Be upfront . To me you at least were honest Things will get better UKstudent
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Old 08-02-2015, 04:35 AM
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well done on two weeks...

If I had a do over... Imagine how many people were pushed away from a solid 35 years of serious drinking... many I'll never get back...

I wish I would have known then what I know. Don't lose this opportunity to live a full and rewarding life - without alcohol getting in the way.
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Old 08-02-2015, 04:38 AM
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If this person can not accept that you are not a drinker (for whatever reason it may be...alcoholism, personal choice, fitness), then perhaps you may be incompatible.
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