How Did You Realise You Had A Problem With Alcohol?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,183
I guess for me it was 5 full years before things got totally out of control, and I remember the moment. My Friday night drinking had been growing in volume, and I thought to myself, "Wow, I drank 7 beers last night, that's like half a fifth of booze! But I remember everything, and in fact I don't even feel that hung over!" My solution to the "problem" was to brush it off, it's not a big deal, I'm just stressed at work, it's a phase, blah blah.
The next big ratchet up was when I started drinking every night, not just weekends. I'm stressed at work, it's a phase, I deserve it, blah blah. After a year of that I looked back and realized I had drank every single night for a year, every single night, and my solution to the "problem" was to take periodic 1-2 day breaks.
The next ratchet was looking back over the previous 2-3 years and realizing I had drank every single night and could no longer go even a day without, I'd find excuses to put off the break day, "not tonight, I'm stressed, I need it to sleep", blah blah.
It went downhill from there.
I think the key isn't realizing you have a problem, since that can happen quite early in the process at a time when you could stop the progression without much drama, if you choose to do that. The key is, realizing you have a problem, and then actually doing something meaningful about it. For me that was much later, at a time when there was already a lot of drama and it was monumentally difficult to stop the progression.
The next big ratchet up was when I started drinking every night, not just weekends. I'm stressed at work, it's a phase, I deserve it, blah blah. After a year of that I looked back and realized I had drank every single night for a year, every single night, and my solution to the "problem" was to take periodic 1-2 day breaks.
The next ratchet was looking back over the previous 2-3 years and realizing I had drank every single night and could no longer go even a day without, I'd find excuses to put off the break day, "not tonight, I'm stressed, I need it to sleep", blah blah.
It went downhill from there.
I think the key isn't realizing you have a problem, since that can happen quite early in the process at a time when you could stop the progression without much drama, if you choose to do that. The key is, realizing you have a problem, and then actually doing something meaningful about it. For me that was much later, at a time when there was already a lot of drama and it was monumentally difficult to stop the progression.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 57
Originally Posted by MelindaFlowers 
I rerealized I had a drinking problem when I read that and thought.... Stephen King only drank nine beers a night?!
Forget that mess
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Sao Paulo Brazil
Posts: 108
When I couldn't stop with 3 shots only of hard liquor, I was only binge drinking alone. I always had anxiety and other social disorders, and alcohol was really a great relief at the beginning but turned out to be a nightmare in my final years of drunkenness. I had major withdrawal symptoms, but I could manage it through a very successful treatment with my psychiatrist. Still doing the treatment, unfortunately my treatment will be long.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
I knew I had a problem for 20 years bit when my health, marriage, career, mind, relationships, and everything I valued started slipping away I decided I had to do something about my drinking
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: West Coast
Posts: 54
- Started going to lunches at work and drinking with a buddy and just missing the entire afternoon
- Missing work meetings because I had too much to drink during lunch and knew I couldn't show up drunk
- Picked up my kids after work and drove them home after having too much to drink
- Showing up to a school play performance for my kid drunk
- Short\Belligerent with my kids\wife
- Almost wrecking my car driving home a few times
- Coming up with a million rules to regulate my drinking and not being able to stick to any of them
- Realizing I drink more than anyone else at the party\dinner\etc
- Hiding booze in the house
- Lying about my drinking to my wife
- Taking the "do you have a problem" tests online and ignoring the results
- having my doctor say something about my drinking after answering sorta honestly on the form during a checkup
- having my wife/friends say something about my drinking
And many more. This has all happened for years and I knew I had a problem. Didn't truly commit to doing anything about it until now.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 34
When I crossed lines I never thought I would cross. It has taken me two and half years to see things unfold. When I don't drink alcohol or smoke weed, I can manage my life. When my life becomes unmanageable, alcohol is always the common denominator.
Some things I did/lines I crossed:
Driving buzzed
Showing up to work hungover a lot
Still feeling slightly drunk at work on 2 occasions
Feeling intense guilt and depression the morning after
Suicidal thoughts the morning after
Black-outs
Unprotected sex with multiple partners
Missing work/important events because I was hungover and depressed
Some things I did/lines I crossed:
Driving buzzed
Showing up to work hungover a lot
Still feeling slightly drunk at work on 2 occasions
Feeling intense guilt and depression the morning after
Suicidal thoughts the morning after
Black-outs
Unprotected sex with multiple partners
Missing work/important events because I was hungover and depressed
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: London
Posts: 11
For me there were too many occasions were I knew I should stop but didn't. Those that stick out are
Drinking all the booze I had in the house and reluctantly going to bed. When my wife fell asleep I started to think I could get up and sneak out to the 24hr shop on the corner for more Vodka at 2am. I didn't but come on.
Being so anxious about an afternoon social engagement we had that I drank a whole bottle of white wine out of the bottle while she did her hair in the bedroom. Trembling through fear of getting caught and general booze anxiety. All the whole bottle did was steady my nerves
Drinking all the booze I had in the house and reluctantly going to bed. When my wife fell asleep I started to think I could get up and sneak out to the 24hr shop on the corner for more Vodka at 2am. I didn't but come on.
Being so anxious about an afternoon social engagement we had that I drank a whole bottle of white wine out of the bottle while she did her hair in the bedroom. Trembling through fear of getting caught and general booze anxiety. All the whole bottle did was steady my nerves
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: TN, USA
Posts: 239
I was always in denial of having a problem even though the signs were clear (drinking alone, hiding bottles, depression as a result of binge drinking) but I never owned up to it until I started suffering from withdrawals. That was basically when I knew I was f*#&$d.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 2,294
I was seriously planning to kill myself in a most ugly and public way. So one night of heavy drinking, feeling miserable, I went to a symphony concert and passed out... had to be taken out. I said I was just not feeling well and they let me go. You see, it was in that concert hall and that night I was going to kill myself.. but chickened out and drank to get the courage or whatever...
Scared the you-know-what out of me and I quit that night. I knew alcohol had taken control and I needed to stop and stop now. No "cutting back" no stop for a week or two.. complete stop.
I did and have more than two years sober.
Scared the you-know-what out of me and I quit that night. I knew alcohol had taken control and I needed to stop and stop now. No "cutting back" no stop for a week or two.. complete stop.
I did and have more than two years sober.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
When I wanted to drink every night.
When I drank every night.
When I kept drinking more and more to reach a buzz.
When my tolerance increased, and increased, and increased.
When I could write a coherent and well formed email after 10 drinks.
When I would write a sloppy and belligerent email after 14 drinks.
When hangovers became normal.
When waking up not hungover was a surprise.
When a night of drinking without any major embarrassment was a victory.
When I would drink to blackout alone.
When drinking and not blacking out was a victory.
When blackouts were no longer unusual but normal, weekly.
When I blacked out two nights in a row.
When I drank as much on any random weeknight as I did at New Years parties.
When I would look at the stash of alcohol for the night and panic and I did not think it would be enough to pass me out. Always kept more than enough to finish the job. I'd often drink it all, "extra" included.
When beer started tasting like water.
When wine started tasting like water.
When vodka started tasting like water.
Hiding bottles. Hiding them so well even I couldn't find them. Late night searches. Surprise finds the next day.
When I would drink when no one I was with was drinking like at movie nights.
When I drank every night.
When I kept drinking more and more to reach a buzz.
When my tolerance increased, and increased, and increased.
When I could write a coherent and well formed email after 10 drinks.
When I would write a sloppy and belligerent email after 14 drinks.
When hangovers became normal.
When waking up not hungover was a surprise.
When a night of drinking without any major embarrassment was a victory.
When I would drink to blackout alone.
When drinking and not blacking out was a victory.
When blackouts were no longer unusual but normal, weekly.
When I blacked out two nights in a row.
When I drank as much on any random weeknight as I did at New Years parties.
When I would look at the stash of alcohol for the night and panic and I did not think it would be enough to pass me out. Always kept more than enough to finish the job. I'd often drink it all, "extra" included.
When beer started tasting like water.
When wine started tasting like water.
When vodka started tasting like water.
Hiding bottles. Hiding them so well even I couldn't find them. Late night searches. Surprise finds the next day.
When I would drink when no one I was with was drinking like at movie nights.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,183
Originally Posted by MelindaFlowers
When I would look at the stash of alcohol for the night and panic and I did not think it would be enough to pass me out.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 76
16 years old, drinking cheap whiskey from the bottle at 10 am, drunk. I was with the guy who I lost my virginity to and who I found extremely physically unattractive. I was disgusted with myself and deeply ashamed. I still get those same feelings when I remember that time of my life. I wish I made many different choices than I did but in the end it has made me stronger.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
When friends told me they were worried about my drinking. Stop drinking? Yeah right. I just stopped socializing with those friends.
If you were to look at a line graph showing the percentages of time I drank with others, socially and the times I drank alone, the social line would go down down down and the drinking alone line went up up up until it was about 99 percent of my drinking, alone at home.
If you were to look at a line graph showing the percentages of time I drank with others, socially and the times I drank alone, the social line would go down down down and the drinking alone line went up up up until it was about 99 percent of my drinking, alone at home.
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