silentrun

The AV is after me. I am in NO danger of drinking or going along with it but I would like to be able to cognitively defeat it.

Here is the line; " you have dealt with the underlying trauma that caused you to drink. If you did decide to drink again you are a different person now and could handle it."

First of all I did not realize I had any underlying trauma to deal with. I still don't believe that was a pivotal factor, it was probably A factor but would have happened anyway. I just liked to drink. Second thing is I broke my off switch and it isn't coming back under any circumstances. It's gone. Third is that I have no desire to drink anymore, why would I risk becoming a drunk again to do something I don't even care about?

Anyone encounter this trick? How did you deal with it? I can't let it blindside me later.

resolute50

I always get the " you hit a milestone, you're good to have a few now" stuff.
It's all BS and I have no thoughts about falling for it.

Rio97

Yep, I think about this often. I still have underlying issues that I haven't dealt with. But if I ever do deal with them, the biggest danger to my sobriety would be that I would feel I could drink again. I'm afraid it probably a lie.

silentrun

Holy crap you just past 2 years. Congratulations. That is about the time these BS lines started to weasel their way in.

biminiblue

Underlying trauma.

If I started drinking again, I'm pretty sure my "I've dealt with it," would once again become, "Oh, sob. Why do they/did they do that to me?"

I was so freaking touchy when I drank that everything was trauma.



But, yeah. I've heard that same lie. I don't trust that it is ever true, no matter what the line is. There are infinite permutations of words that seem so possible and yet...

fini

so, if you've dealt with the previous trauma that "caused" your drinking, then what reason is there to believe the next trauma won't take you straight back there?
and maybe trauma made you seek fake refuge and relief in drinking, but trauma doesn't cause alcoholism or addiction.
if it did, there would be no non-alcoholics or normal drinkers who'd ever experienced trauma.

fallacious, dear silentrun.
as you already know

Dee74

fell for that one, too.

No matter whether I dealt with my underlying stuff or not, I'd also developed a fine case of alcoholism.

I often talk about confusing abstinence for control. My life was good because I was no longer drinking - not because I'd reset myself in anyway or that I'd learned to control my drinking.

dealing with the underlying cause, or just dealing with the drinking only went part way to a solution for me. I needed to tackle both things.

D

MelindaFlowers

I am one of those alcoholics who had no past trauma but I needed to drink large amounts of alcohol every day to feel good and became the "real alcoholic" discussed in the BB. I'm pretty good at self-reflection but I still can't give you a good reason why I was so drawn to alcohol. I have no idea. I just liked how it made me feel and I used to the point of abuse to the point of full-blown addiction. What I do know is that I needed to stop drinking alcohol.

I've had those lines from my AV a million times. I used to enjoy giving in to them. Something changed in me though when I felt in my heart that I was near death. (Actually it was more than my heart, it was my dr. too). It was so close I could feel it.

It used to tell me that I would drink sometime in the far future, be it a year or a decade. That has ceased. I truly believe I will never drink alcohol again.

I will say that around Christmas my AV was having a field day and I went back to the "one day at a time" mantra. I was so glad to wake up the next morning not hungover. That was my first Christmas sober.

silentrun

For a second it actually made sense. That is the scary part. I think part of the problem is there has been a leftover case of beer in my entryway for a month now. I walk by it a few times a day. Beer was never my thing but I am sure my brain is picking up on the fact that it is right there just waiting to be drank and I could handle beer. It's probably not a good idea for me to have any type of alcohol in the house.

NestWasEmpty

I've had trauma in my life in different ways .No matter how much I work on letting it go , it will always be there . Rather I dealt with it or not . The only way I learnt to over come is not to dwell on them . With that said . I know for a fact if I chose to pick up again - those thoughts of trauma will intensify all over again .
The whole cycle will start all over , but with more strength . Because that will just add another problem --- Feeling sorry for myself cause I was dumb enough to ruin my sobriety - once again .
I am an alcoholic I can not drink (ever)

BackToSquareOne

I had so many failed attempts at quitting in my over 30 years of drinking that I completely wore out the "It will be different this time" thought pattern. I could drink in moderation for short periods of time but always ended up going off the deep end with it. It just became crystal clear to me that it would never be different but I was a very slow learner.

silentrun

That is exactly what would happen if I drank again. Thank you.

So I asked my non drinking husband if he could do something with that leftover beer and he got all pissy. The term "self control" and "will power" came up. I tried to explain I have 2 different systems at work in my brain. System 1 realizes it's stupid and system 2 tries to mess with me. Luckily system 1 is back in the driver's seat but 2 still tries to run it's yapper.

Venecia

Silent, I think that's the "cunning" part of our AVs at work. It's dormant but it wants to rattle the cage. System 2, as you aptly put it.

Sounds like you're doing some good work in addressing first issue. As for the beer, I hope Mr. Silent comes around. If he's not a drinker, what's the point in even having it in the house.

DoubleBarrel

Great. You have dealt with the trauma underlying your excuses to drink.

Did the cells in your body change also? Because I was sure as hell physically addicted to alcohol in addition to my mental issues. Nothing would make me want to go through that nightmare again.

DoubleBarrel

Oh, and when you are feeling strong, grab that beer and throw it in the nearest dumpster. A few bucks is not worth having that sitting around if it's messing with you.

silentrun

It could happen.
I never even thought trauma was my reason to drink anyway. That's what makes it so weird.
I'm over it now. That is my way when I have risky schemes come up. I get them out of my head and onto SR and the light of day.
Crabby did do something with the beer. I don't know if he hid it or threw it out but it's out of sight.