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What do you like best about being sober?

Old 07-21-2015, 10:27 PM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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Other things:

Not having to take a few inches back from people so they don't smell the booze. I drank vodka, but I know that's largely a myth. I think there might be some truth to the odorless thing because I know my husband would peck me sometimes in the morning or come very near and he didn't say anything. He's not the type to hold back. He would have called me out then and there since he knew it was becoming a problem. He didn't know the extent to which I was drinking.

Like most, not planning my days around the drink and either rejecting family plans to stay alone and drink or using an a$$ pocket of vodka if we had to go out. My oh my, I had to run off to the car to get my "forgotten" cell phone wherever we were. That's when the husband was driving. For my driving, see below.

Even in my drunken haze, I would not drink and drive with the kid. By myself, sure. Never super wasted, but does it matter? Would have gotten a DUI. That led to great irritation especially given how much the kid has activities. That would majorly disrupt my drinking schedule and I would be irritated until I could start up without driving.

Not blowing off entire things I registered the kid for since he's only four and wouldn't know either way. Paid for tee-ball? Oh well. Mommy's drinking is more important and I'm not going to drink and drive.

Sneaking into the house with a pint stuffed down the back of my pants because husband was sort of onto me at that point.

Panic attacks, anxiety, middle of the night heartbeat increase and at the end, extensive heat to my face and redness. I'm guessing this was my blood pressure.

I was finally rushed to ICU which ended the whole gig, thank God.
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Old 07-21-2015, 10:31 PM
  # 42 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by MelindaFlowers View Post
I can relate to every word. Especially with the not paying bills part. You're right. Even looting in to pay a simple bill seemed like a monumental task. How about the times when you remember at 10 pm that the bill is due and then, ten or so drinks in, trying to remember the password.

Also relate to the tolerance getting so huge that I could walk straight and carry on a conversation after 12 drinks. I imagine the reality of what I looked and sounded like was very different than I imagined. To a sober person I must have looked like a comatose mess. I've noticed that drunk people are soooooo easy to spot when you are legitimately, stone cold sober. Wow. And all those Kate night phone calls I made......oh my god.

Like you, everything is better now and I am now paying my bills on time.
Even sober, I can't remember all those passwords. Sigh. I have to reset them all the time. Too many accounts, too many slight variations on my password. But no, I get the general sense. Opting to take a late fee rather than even trying.

In the last two days, I've done about 20 tasks that went neglected for months just because I couldn't do them. Didn't want to. Had no motivation.

Posting dramatic Facebook messages at night and being unable to erase them the next morning because then everyone would know they were drunken messages. instead, I'd rush for the bottle because then I felt better about them and eventually, after two or three shots, felt that they were warranted and fine.

Waking up after making a fool of yourself and hearing from your husband that people were giving you strange looks. He exaggerates and was sick and tired of it, but I'm sure it happened to some extent.
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Old 07-21-2015, 10:33 PM
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I talked to my mom on the phone the other day while wasted. They came in for my hospitalization and said they would have never guessed I was wasted because I sounded completed fine. Even my ER papers say describe me as calm, coherent, and very responsive. Nothing to be proud of, but like you, I pulled it off because of tolerance.

Mind games at the liquor store. Buying a half pint or a pint to try and control it all. I can't remember the last time I bought a handle, though, I would have saved myself some cash since I drank a handle's worth every 48 hours. Instead, I decided it was better to curb it except I didn't. I would be back at the liquor store later in the day. Same clerk.

At the end, I didn't even care about going to the same store all the time. I stopped rotating. The cat was out of the bag, they all knew I was an alcoholic. They didn't say anything, but people who buy skol and dimitri in a plastic bottle aren't fooling anyone. In days prior, I would actually rotate because I had some shame left.

This one is most pathetic: I've been on and off (mostly on), but there was a time when my husband knew the extent of it. He didn't go as far to check my stuff, but in a small hotel room, there was nowhere to hide it. I put it in the public hotel bathroom in the garbage can and made many excuses to leave the room. The car was parked in a garage blocks away or I would have used the car as my personal bar as I often did at home. I needed to go to the garage quite a bit because all my hiding spots had been discovered.

Not mixing vodka with coffee because the one time I had a plastic bottle of "water" in the car, my husband asked for a sip. I told him it was old water and warm. I got away with it but then I started putting it in coffee because he hates coffee.

Not repeating the same story the next day and having people look at you and ask you why you are telling them the same thing you did last night.

I could go on and on.
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Old 07-21-2015, 10:47 PM
  # 44 (permalink)  
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No more:
-drunken phone calls
- paranoia
- anxiety
- nausea
-hangovers
-regrets
-sadness
-disappointment
-hopelessness/helplessness
-anger/aggression
-suicidal thoughts
-self destruction

Now I am able to just be. Knowing good or bad, life is transient. No matter what, I know I got this.
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Old 07-21-2015, 10:52 PM
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Not arriving at Walgreen's at 7 am in the morning, finding that the clerk hasn't opened the liquor aisle yet and it's been blocked with chains even though liquor sales start at 6 am. Being too embarrassed to ask her to open it. Realizing she didn't get around to it yet because most of the world does not stop in at 7 to get a bottle. Being angry and going down the street to CVS where the clerk would already have that thing to take the anti-theft think off the bottle.
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Old 07-22-2015, 02:26 AM
  # 46 (permalink)  
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I like that not every other debit transaction is not from the liquor store. I used to have this fear that somebody like a mortgage company would require three bank statements or something like that.
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Old 07-22-2015, 09:06 AM
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Originally Posted by notgonnastoptry View Post
Other things:

Sneaking into the house with a pint stuffed down the back of my pants because husband was sort of onto me at that point.
I definitely don't miss this
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Old 07-22-2015, 09:29 AM
  # 48 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by MelindaFlowers View Post
I like that not every other debit transaction is not from the liquor store. I used to have this fear that somebody like a mortgage company would require three bank statements or something like that.

I can totally relate. Seriously. Every other one of mine was too. That's because I was caught up in the game of buying small, knowing i was slowly killing myself, so I'd buy in small quantities. But once you take that first drink, the drink takes you (back to the store without shame).

Another: I don't miss pre gaming when meeting friends for dinner, then appearing to drink normally at the table, then sneaking off to the bathroom multiple times to take a nip from my half pint/pint in my purse.

Related: Don't miss dreading when the food was coming because it would lessen my abilities to get my drunk on. I'd time my "bathroom" breaks. Once when we first got there and then as soon as I saw the food coming or knew it was coming, I'd go again and take some major swigs. I'm sure the people we were with thought it was really odd for someone my age to need to use the bathroom so much, sometimes up to four times.


Not going to all day events with my family and it being impossible to sneak out, going through mini-withdrawals, and having to throw up in public restrooms.

Taking bags with in the car at the very end to throw up in, on the way to the liquor store, because withdrawal started quicker and quicker by the moment.

This one is embarrassing. Going to people's houses, casually drinking those one two glasses of wine, but then going to their liquor collection and taking sips since they were two rooms away. Never got caught on that one. Only did it a few times, but how pathetic is that?

Not moving furniture and my husband finding half pints under a couch that sits on the floor.

Don't miss going into the gas station while the husband pumped gas and having such high anxiety and watching him like a hawk while I quickly transacted for a half-pint or pint. Then I'd go into the bathroom to get my drink on. He never did walk in, but I'd usually do it at gas stations where I knew I could see him from the window. I knew the ones they sold at and the view they provided, so I would say i needed to go to a certain gas station because I liked their coffee. I remember nearly exploding the one time he wanted to go to a liquor free gas station, not that he knew either way, but I did. His reasoning is that it was on the side of the road we were on but I knew it was dry. I insisted we go to the one across the street and used some excuse about how I knew that inside (the one that sold liquor) had such and such that I needed so bad. Maybe advil? It was all a lie, like everything. The thing they had that I needed was the half pint.
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Old 07-22-2015, 10:55 AM
  # 49 (permalink)  
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I'm happier.

my wife said to me today "you realize your taking like 2 hour lunches and your only suppost to take 1 hour lunches" I looked at her and smiled and said yes but i'm happy so i dont care :-) as i shared my watermelon with my son on my lap.

I no longer wake up wanting to reach for a revolver even tho i'm already half dead finishing the job sounded like a great idea.

I no longer wake up with the sahara desert in my mouth dieing for a drink of water or 10.

I'm not a slave to the beer count in the fridge having to plan my day around getting to the beer store for more so i can punish myself later that evening.

I'd like to say i have more money but I dont i'm still broke. But needs are met and we do more fun stuff then before and i'm out of debt so whatever.

the list goes on really. I'm healthier and happier. I feel as if now anyhow it took a while to get to this point but I feel as if i'm enjoying life a bit more richly. IE I feel as if life has more to offer me. Rather then life being like a piece of chocolate cake when its good its more like a REALLY GOOOD Piece of chocolate cake. if that makes any sense more rich if you will.
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Old 07-22-2015, 03:04 PM
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I am having my last drink tonight and will drink no more under my Dr.'s care after tonight (see my posts for the back-story, but I just joined SR), and you all have no idea how encouraging and wonderfully delicious these posts are. I can imagine sobriety, nearly taste it, almost breath it. I long for it. I must have it. I will have it. Thank you all for the push you've given me. Thank you.
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Old 07-22-2015, 03:56 PM
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Originally Posted by WhySoSirius View Post
I am having my last drink tonight and will drink no more under my Dr.'s care after tonight (see my posts for the back-story, but I just joined SR), and you all have no idea how encouraging and wonderfully delicious these posts are. I can imagine sobriety, nearly taste it, almost breath it. I long for it. I must have it. I will have it. Thank you all for the push you've given me. Thank you.
Good luck. xx
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Old 07-22-2015, 04:32 PM
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Not having to beg for rides , because I lost my license from a DWI . Having a car again to enjoy and just the Whole better feeling waking up Sober
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Old 07-22-2015, 08:11 PM
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Self-respect.
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Old 07-22-2015, 08:24 PM
  # 54 (permalink)  
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No more shaking.
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Old 07-22-2015, 09:07 PM
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enjoying this thread a lot.

Another.

Police cars behind me or on the road waiting always make me nervous, even before all of this went down. At least now, I don't have to worry about my BAC when they are near me or if I pass them on the road. I would always watch my speed limit while driving buzzed. But buzzed is drunk, so who am I kidding?

Sometimes I suddenly realized I was driving too slow.
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Old 07-22-2015, 09:22 PM
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I love feeling better all the time. Everything I do is better. Hard jobs are easier. I always suspected that I was selling myself short and I was. Now I can reach maximum potential when I need to. I am a way better father and husband. I was always a patient man but now even more so. I am a better friend. I don't have to put up with bad people anymore.
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Old 07-22-2015, 09:36 PM
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No hangovers..mine were horrific. And not waking up in a panic wondering what awful thing I did or said the previous night
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Old 07-25-2015, 10:31 AM
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Now I love waking up in the middle of night feeling warm and fuzzy because there is no alcohol still running through me veins from the night before. In that moment I am at peace.
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Old 07-25-2015, 07:14 PM
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clarity
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Old 07-25-2015, 07:29 PM
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Originally Posted by Kate15 View Post
...What thing/things do you like about not drinking?

For starters and it`s a big start - No hangovers and the feeling of being burned out.

One of the first things I noticed after getting sober was how I had more energy during the day.
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