tomsteve

IMO, with thecomments about AA, there was more motive to why you posted,other than show you've achieved over two years sober, which is awesome. Seems if you truly wanted to show you've achieved two years sober you wouldn't have mentioned AA, like many of the others here who have gotten sober without AA have done.
Good on ya for two yeas sober!

IOAA2

Hi.
We alcoholics in general are sensitive people who often don’t read or hear all the responses given.

That said just because I’ve been sober a lot of years does not mean my ISM has totally left yet. There are moments, some too long, I act and react to people, places and things in some manner like when I was drinking, like anger or fear for example. This I call my dry drunk moment and hope this too shall pass.

For me this word “sober” is used very freely and at times meaningless. Someone who drank every day for years and stops today calls themselves sober.
My opinion sober means healthy in mind and spirit which includes work and change regarding their present day life. JMO.

BE WELL

sugarbear1

I managed 3 years at one point in my life, around the age of 32-35, but it didn't last for me and I drank again......

I got to age 50 and so much had happened and I couldn't stay stopped on my own like I had previously; I needed AA by then.

Everyone has a different path to take for their sobriety. This is why I love Sober Recovery, there are so many people who stay stopped using different methods for their recovery!!!!

Congrats on your 2+ years!! You are a miracle! Most of us die drunk or from an accident due to our drinking.

Stick around with us, we need you here!

lighter

The thing to remember is that opinions are like butts. Everyone has 'em and many of 'em stink.

With any sobriety resource use what is useful and discard the rest.

IOAA2

You’re correct but it’s tough separating opinions from facts that are correct.

For instance when I say things it’s from experience and observation. Like when I say that most relapses are a result of self dishonesty, not accepting we are people who cannot drink in safety and not sticking to the path of being sober by thinking alcoholically that we can have “just one.”

BE WELL

silentrun

Hi. I am bit ahead of you calendar wise. I have been getting weird thoughts like you said. I think the true test is how we deal with them. Do we buy into it or do we address it? You were willing to go to AA even though that is not your method now. Above all I see that as a willingness to do what it takes. I am too. We both are still in dangerous water with 2 years. As long as we hold our position that drinking is not an option I think we both make it. As far as that guy goes, well that's not about you, that's on him.

lighter

IOAA2, my experience is that there are truly very few "facts" where alcoholism treatment is concerned. Much less is known than we would all hope.

Most people go more on experience and observation than anything else.

The problem with that is we're all limited to our own experiences... for example, my last relapse happened when I was clinically depressed and didn't care if I was safe or not. I wanted to be dead at the time.

Is that how it is for most people? Nope.

People who try AA are biased by the fact they have probably tried many things before AA which didn't work for them. Most people come into AA desperate and despite many previous attempts.

Those of us who tried something else prior to AA which worked for us never went through those doors in the first place...

Easilypleased

Thanks tomsteve and you're right, I was annoyed and I wanted to know what other people's views were on the matter. I just don't like people taking negative vibes from it because I'm generally a positive guy. I'm putting it down to one persons comments and their own interpretation of the big book, not necessarily the correct one.

dsmaxis10

AA not the only way to stay sober millions more get sober threw church then AA and I need AA I'm a Christian and I really don't like going to church exspecially celebrate recovery I find AA way better. That guy that said that is just a brainwashed dummy theres no leaders in AA so just say the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. And everything in AA is just a suggestion.

JeffreyAK

I think what turns many people off about AA is the notion that someone else gets to discard the dictionary definition of a simple word and replace it with a new definition, and then judge whether or not someone else is worthy of fitting it. Yes, the attitude comes up in other groups too, but in my experience a lot less often.

I agree, being in active withdrawal but with no alcohol in your body is not the same as having been sober for years or even weeks, but if we're willing to redefine the word "sober" and add overtones and dimensions to it that it doesn't actually have, then it's not much of an extension to refer to someone with a couple years sobriety who didn't get and stay sober a particular way as a "dry drunk", which sadly is not uncommon.

Maybe whatever you have in mind deserves it's own word or phrase.

sg1970

Some of us us are sicker than others. Early on I had a meeting I was going to that just about made me quit AA and it was mainly because of who I perceived as the group leader. I shopped around and ended up with two meetings I really like. I go twice a week and only to those two meetings. Good recovery and very little drama. Don't let a small group make you sour. They aren't worth it.

Berrybean

Not everyone at AA is good at explaining their thoughts, or presenting opinion as just that. And some meetings are def better than others, and at smaller meetings there are not many people available to take on the role of secretary or other service positions. These roles are simply filled by volunteer members of AA who have the required sobriety time, who are agreed by the people who treat the meeting as their home group.

(The word dry-drunk makes me shudder, as I got into a dry drunk phase myself - just sitting in AA meetings, not doing any work on my recovery and just waiting for other people's sobriety to rub off on me. It was very, very painful, and at it's worse I can honestly say that I wanted to die. Thankfully I realised where I was going wrong and got a sponsor and started doing my step work and things started to improve quite quickly. Phew!! I couldn't have stood that much fear; anger and resentment much longer sober.)

uncle holmes

From my experience the combination of AA and SR is more effective in maintaining and having a more quality sobriety.

Just cause a person is sober and goes to meetings doesn't mean they won't get any thoughts of drinking, even with a sponsor and working the 12 steps!

There are no absolutes with sobriety! Nothing is guaranteed!

AnonSara

You can find judgement anywhere you go. Absolutely nothing is all good or all bad. My experience has been that I need to approach all with an open mind but know that not everyone operates the same way. In any case, find what works for you and stick to it. I have found support in many many places and forms. It's always good to have back up options! Take care. Congrats on the 2 yrs!

IOAA2

One fact was learned many years ago, long before the internet, is I didn’t know what I didn’t know.
The next one that was pressed into my mind is I can’t get drunk if I don’t pick up the first drink.
Many other facts from sober oldtimers led me on a path of recovery of being sober and helping others, even just showing up at my home meetings.

In my opinion being active by making coffee, chairing meetings, cleaning up, talking to newcomers, speaking at the podium and on and on helped me in recovery one day at a time in a row. The main thing in my opinion is it helped me to not isolate which is probably an alcoholic’s biggest reason for failure.
Just don’t drink over it.

BE WELL

silentrun

I thought it was resentments. Oh no she didn't just say that! ; )

dirk41

I remember when I had a stint in rehab a few years ago, within one minute of meeting me, an AA 'leader' telling me to sell all my assets to pay for a 28 program when I made the point I have bills to pay and a family to take care of. When another group member agreed I had a point he became very agressive.

Anyway, I think there are many paths to sobriety depending on the individual.
(I don't know how much weight this carries given I relapsed yesterday and am on day 1 again today but I have and am in a much better place than I was years ago using other methods)

MIRecovery

I really do not think it is wise or fair to condemn or embrace any large group of people based on one members opinions.

AA literally saved my life and has kept me sober for almost six years. The paths to sobriety are varied but condemnation without thorough investigation serves no one.

dwtbd

Regardless everyones' opinions( except mine of course, lol) I think essentially it all boils down to deciding for one's self to stop drinking and resolve to never again pick up 'that' first drink. "Oldtimers" and those who enjoy abstinence have in common that individual resolve and practice it, yes ?
As to the OP , even after two yrs (congrats, thats awesome ) thoughts are just thoughts they can and do proceed action, but action is not inevitable it still remains a choice. What are your plans for future alcohol use ?

lighter

The problem is I have met a lot of alcoholics who decided not to drink again.

I've met fewer that managed it.

Saying you can't get drunk if you don't drink the first drink is a fact. But. Not a very useful one.

Just IMHO.