time to change
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 41
time to change
hi all
i think its time for me to change my ways, ive been drinking now for about 15years and i know a lot of people say this but i don't think im an alcoholic i am only drinking around 4 cans of beer or a bottle of wine which i only drink on a evening , i have stopped before for a few weeks but then i will start having a drink once a week and gradually increase it so i am back to drinking every day, i tried to stop a few weeks ago and because i couldn't sleep i started taking codeine pills which made me feel better but i ended up either having a drink or taking pills.
i know compared to a lot of people i don't drink an awful lot but it still gives me hangovers i would love to be able to just have the odd drink but i don't know if its possible and the thought of never drinking again is scary.
:sink
i think its time for me to change my ways, ive been drinking now for about 15years and i know a lot of people say this but i don't think im an alcoholic i am only drinking around 4 cans of beer or a bottle of wine which i only drink on a evening , i have stopped before for a few weeks but then i will start having a drink once a week and gradually increase it so i am back to drinking every day, i tried to stop a few weeks ago and because i couldn't sleep i started taking codeine pills which made me feel better but i ended up either having a drink or taking pills.
i know compared to a lot of people i don't drink an awful lot but it still gives me hangovers i would love to be able to just have the odd drink but i don't know if its possible and the thought of never drinking again is scary.
:sink
In Memory Of
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Connecticut.
Posts: 3,736
welcome Dave !
It sounds like you are on the fence , been there afew times myself , but the booze always got the best of me .Why not try not drinking for 90 days and than see ? In AA we dont drink one day at a time .We always have that choice to go back to drinking if we want .Stick around and read some posts . You have found a great place for help and support . Prayers 
Trish
Trish
Choosing Life
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: London
Posts: 889
Hi Dave
JC here - UK. Welcome. Great title ... time to change. Yep that's exactly what I decided and life is a whole lot better.
For me, I had to concentrate on what happened to me when I started drinking, not the amount I was drinking. That "odd" drink you mention always led me to drink far more than I wanted to, or had planned to do. Then I had to deal with all the disappointments (to put it lightly) that the behaviour caused by too much alcohol created.
Nice to have you here Dave - keep posting.
much love
JC
JC here - UK. Welcome. Great title ... time to change. Yep that's exactly what I decided and life is a whole lot better.
For me, I had to concentrate on what happened to me when I started drinking, not the amount I was drinking. That "odd" drink you mention always led me to drink far more than I wanted to, or had planned to do. Then I had to deal with all the disappointments (to put it lightly) that the behaviour caused by too much alcohol created.
Nice to have you here Dave - keep posting.
much love
JC
Last edited by JaySee; 08-30-2004 at 04:05 PM.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 41
thank you for the welcome , iv'e spent some time on here reading peoples posts and i feel inspired, i'm going to try and stop again it's just the thought of not drinking again is realy hard i know after a few weeks i will start thinking i'm ok now and i could maybe just have the odd drink i don't even know why i drink i have a lovely wife and two young boys my job is ok too and i'm not drinking to forget i think it's just habit, oh well maybe tomorrow i won't drink.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 41
i,m now kicking myself woke up this morning convinced i was not going to drink and here i am looking on forum and drinking at the same time, i'm so weak, i'm so confident when i wake up that i can do it but as the day wears on it's the old i will stop tomorrow today is not a good idea.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Arizona
Posts: 872
Welcome Dave!
Please don't beat yourself up. I've done the "not tomorrow, tomorrow comes, drinking" thing many times...
Ken here, alcoholic. I actually was just a drunk before I realized I'm an alcoholic.
I know you are still on the fence, I have been there many times as well.
In your last post you said you felt that you are weak... For ME (me, mind you) -- it's not about being weak. I am very strong willed, but when I pit my will power up against the power of alcohol, guess who'll win every time? :friday: Because of this, I needed to seek out a program to help me recover -- my choice is AA, but there are lots of programs out there, I'm sure folks will be along to introduce them to you. I just know I couldn't do it alone.
So hang in there, you've found the SR boards, and we're all in this sh!t together -- keep posting and letting us know how you are doing.
Off to my Tuesday night step meeting!
Ken
Ken here, alcoholic. I actually was just a drunk before I realized I'm an alcoholic.
I know you are still on the fence, I have been there many times as well.
In your last post you said you felt that you are weak... For ME (me, mind you) -- it's not about being weak. I am very strong willed, but when I pit my will power up against the power of alcohol, guess who'll win every time? :friday: Because of this, I needed to seek out a program to help me recover -- my choice is AA, but there are lots of programs out there, I'm sure folks will be along to introduce them to you. I just know I couldn't do it alone.
So hang in there, you've found the SR boards, and we're all in this sh!t together -- keep posting and letting us know how you are doing.
Off to my Tuesday night step meeting!
Ken
Mostly Sunny Skies
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Mountain Top, WV
Posts: 62
Been there, done that.
Dave65,
As they say "been there, done that." I would guess that many on this forum have exactly the same issues that you do. I know I did -- and kind of still do.
At least in your mind, you might not have to think of yourself as an alcoholic. If you go through one of the clinical programs, rather than AA, you probably would be classified as an "alcohol abuser." There are various murky dividing lines, but you're probably on that side of the fence.
From personal experience, I would say that you still have a problem -- whatever it's name might be. Somewhere in recent years, you crossed over that line where it is in control, and you aren't. And, if you don't do something about it, your daily consumption will continue to slowly creep up and up.
Even at the level you are at, you're going to need a lot of resolve to quit. And if you are like most of us, you are going to quit many times. Hopefully, the time between quits will get longer and longer, and the quantity consumed will be less and less.
Somewhere you need to really come to grips about many things. For me, it needed to be written down. I keep daily records, even when I go months without a drink. I know my triggers. I know my weaknesses. I learned coping mechanisms for the urges.
I still plan a few days in advance. I try to set a weekly plan every Monday morning. I try to update it every Friday morning before the weekend starts. I've got the upcoming three day weekend planned out tentatively, but will finalize it on Friday morning.
I recently got lax, and it got me for four days. I came back to my senses two weeks ago today.
Maybe you can do it on your own. If you do, you absolutely need someone -- several someones, who have been through it. This forum is great, but there is nothing like a face to face talk with someone who can actually look you in the eye. You've got to be brutally honest with yourself and those around you. You probably need some new friends anyway.
I wish you all the best. If thirty days from now you haven't made considerable progress, start looking for a program. It doesn't necessarily have to be a 12 step program like AA, but it needs to be something structured.
Good luck,
Toivo
As they say "been there, done that." I would guess that many on this forum have exactly the same issues that you do. I know I did -- and kind of still do.
At least in your mind, you might not have to think of yourself as an alcoholic. If you go through one of the clinical programs, rather than AA, you probably would be classified as an "alcohol abuser." There are various murky dividing lines, but you're probably on that side of the fence.
From personal experience, I would say that you still have a problem -- whatever it's name might be. Somewhere in recent years, you crossed over that line where it is in control, and you aren't. And, if you don't do something about it, your daily consumption will continue to slowly creep up and up.
Even at the level you are at, you're going to need a lot of resolve to quit. And if you are like most of us, you are going to quit many times. Hopefully, the time between quits will get longer and longer, and the quantity consumed will be less and less.
Somewhere you need to really come to grips about many things. For me, it needed to be written down. I keep daily records, even when I go months without a drink. I know my triggers. I know my weaknesses. I learned coping mechanisms for the urges.
I still plan a few days in advance. I try to set a weekly plan every Monday morning. I try to update it every Friday morning before the weekend starts. I've got the upcoming three day weekend planned out tentatively, but will finalize it on Friday morning.
I recently got lax, and it got me for four days. I came back to my senses two weeks ago today.
Maybe you can do it on your own. If you do, you absolutely need someone -- several someones, who have been through it. This forum is great, but there is nothing like a face to face talk with someone who can actually look you in the eye. You've got to be brutally honest with yourself and those around you. You probably need some new friends anyway.
I wish you all the best. If thirty days from now you haven't made considerable progress, start looking for a program. It doesn't necessarily have to be a 12 step program like AA, but it needs to be something structured.
Good luck,
Toivo
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: God's Grace
Posts: 689
Hi Dave, as Trish mentioned above, I'll say again. 1 day at a time. We don't know what tomrow brings. So just concentrate on sobriety for today. Attending AA has helped me a lot in my recovery. There are other programs as well. Best of luck to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 41
hi all, unlike the last time i posted i'm now sitting here drinking a cup of tea this will be my third night now without a drink and i'm feeling ok apart from i've not slept very well at all and have got a bit of a dull headache, yesterday at work was a bit strange i seemed to jump at the slightest noise or thought i saw something out of the corner of my eye was very weird, today i'm ok arpart from about now when i would normally be drinking i feel a bit irritable.
thank you all for your kind words and advice you have given me the strengh to try and kick this.
thank you all for your kind words and advice you have given me the strengh to try and kick this.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,432
The third day is a great milestone, dave! The stuff is out of your system. Jumpiness, irritability, sleeplessness were all things I experienced, and others here too, not to mention my eyes were dry and irritated (alcohol evaporates through our eyeballs) and my eating patterns changed.
Keep your diet healthy, replace the booze with fruit juice, and find some things to do to fill the old drinking times. You're changing behavior that you developed over a long time, and just the change alone can make you irritable and feel a little lost.
Glad you posted again. Take care!
Don S
Keep your diet healthy, replace the booze with fruit juice, and find some things to do to fill the old drinking times. You're changing behavior that you developed over a long time, and just the change alone can make you irritable and feel a little lost.
Glad you posted again. Take care!
Don S
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