Newby Day 1
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 7
Newby Day 1
24, f, uk
I attended my first AA meeting today after yet another drunken saturday upsetting friends and family. i felt the meeting went well and i plan on going again tomorrow.
Can anybody please offer advice regarding socialising in booze-fuelled circumstances. My friends are all drinkers so i will inevitably end up in pubs/clubs and i dont trust myself not to join in. It is worrying me greatly that i may not last this sobriety out. Thank you x
I attended my first AA meeting today after yet another drunken saturday upsetting friends and family. i felt the meeting went well and i plan on going again tomorrow.
Can anybody please offer advice regarding socialising in booze-fuelled circumstances. My friends are all drinkers so i will inevitably end up in pubs/clubs and i dont trust myself not to join in. It is worrying me greatly that i may not last this sobriety out. Thank you x
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,554
Welcome ellie - we're so glad to have you here. Congrats on your 24 hours sober.
In the early days of recovery, most of us find it far too challenging to be around alcohol. Be patient with yourself - you need chance to heal and get some sober time behind you. I'm sure your friends would want what's best for you.
There's always someone here to listen and understand, ellie. You're never alone.
In the early days of recovery, most of us find it far too challenging to be around alcohol. Be patient with yourself - you need chance to heal and get some sober time behind you. I'm sure your friends would want what's best for you.
There's always someone here to listen and understand, ellie. You're never alone.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Welcome, ellie.
I have to agree with Hevyn, I couldn't have continued to go out with heavy drinkers when I was quitting.
I found that people were willing to do other things - if they weren't willing to see me without alcohol, then they were just drinking buddies - not true friends. There are lots of activities done while sober.
I have to agree with Hevyn, I couldn't have continued to go out with heavy drinkers when I was quitting.
I found that people were willing to do other things - if they weren't willing to see me without alcohol, then they were just drinking buddies - not true friends. There are lots of activities done while sober.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Hi Ellie welcome to SR when i got sober i was going mtns near enough every day and every time i went it was sober exercise and little by little my sober muscles started getting stronger, more well prepared for all situations
I took a step bk from going out with friends that drank to spending time building up my sober muscles & learning from ppl who were just like me
For now my advice is keep building sober muscles & give yourself some time to prepare for these situations by focusing on your sobriety
I took a step bk from going out with friends that drank to spending time building up my sober muscles & learning from ppl who were just like me
For now my advice is keep building sober muscles & give yourself some time to prepare for these situations by focusing on your sobriety
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
Welcome! 
Is it necessary to put yourself in harm's way? I'd skip the drinking sessions and meet with friends in other places. And if they are only interested in drinking with you, then they aren't real friends.
Is it necessary to put yourself in harm's way? I'd skip the drinking sessions and meet with friends in other places. And if they are only interested in drinking with you, then they aren't real friends.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
ellie, welcome to you.
i will inevitably end up in pubs/clubs
ah, i see: you have absolutely no choice in the matter
ellie, there's nothing inevitable about going to a pub. nor do we just "end up" there.
the scary part is not trusting yourself. not knowing how to navigate new sobriety. not trusting that friends are really friends and will be there when we're not drinking. being afraid of not knowing how to "do" sober or who we might find out we are...anyway, those were some of my fears.
everything here is evitable. if you're willing.
i will inevitably end up in pubs/clubs
ah, i see: you have absolutely no choice in the matter
ellie, there's nothing inevitable about going to a pub. nor do we just "end up" there.
the scary part is not trusting yourself. not knowing how to navigate new sobriety. not trusting that friends are really friends and will be there when we're not drinking. being afraid of not knowing how to "do" sober or who we might find out we are...anyway, those were some of my fears.
everything here is evitable. if you're willing.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I 100% agree with everyone else here. Create a safe zone for yourself and avoid environments where you will be tempted. If sobriety is really really important to you, sacrificing a club night for awhile will be wise. I will guarantee you this, a few months from now when the sober muscles are in better shape, the club will still be there.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi and welcome.
That’s a lot of good advice above, much from experience.
I needed to stick with people who didn’t partake in alcohol as it was a trigger for me being around it.
My choice was making new friends with people practicing recovery at meeting and becoming involved every day for quite awhile. I needed to learn about the work needed to change myself into a sober alcoholic and that was not with people who are drinking. This learning process wasn’t watching TV, working overtime or shifting my goals to something else. For me it was meetings every day even when I didn’t want to go. As is said it works if we let it.
BE WELL
That’s a lot of good advice above, much from experience.
I needed to stick with people who didn’t partake in alcohol as it was a trigger for me being around it.
My choice was making new friends with people practicing recovery at meeting and becoming involved every day for quite awhile. I needed to learn about the work needed to change myself into a sober alcoholic and that was not with people who are drinking. This learning process wasn’t watching TV, working overtime or shifting my goals to something else. For me it was meetings every day even when I didn’t want to go. As is said it works if we let it.
BE WELL
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by Hevyn 
Welcome ellie - we're so glad to have you here. Congrats on your 24 hours sober.
In the early days of recovery, most of us find it far too challenging to be around alcohol. Be patient with yourself - you need chance to heal and get some sober time behind you. I'm sure your friends would want what's best for you.
There's always someone here to listen and understand, ellie. You're never alone.
In the early days of recovery, most of us find it far too challenging to be around alcohol. Be patient with yourself - you need chance to heal and get some sober time behind you. I'm sure your friends would want what's best for you.
There's always someone here to listen and understand, ellie. You're never alone.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 7
thank you!
Im so grateful for each one of you responding to my message with your advice and ideas i have definitely taken them all on board.
I had tickets booked for a dj beach party with my best mate and she just text me asking if we should sell our tickets and go to cinema instead.
After spending some time on here i am feeling very hopeful that this time i can succeed. You guys are brill and i hope all of your journeys are going well
I had tickets booked for a dj beach party with my best mate and she just text me asking if we should sell our tickets and go to cinema instead.
After spending some time on here i am feeling very hopeful that this time i can succeed. You guys are brill and i hope all of your journeys are going well
My brain is trying to kill me
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Palo Alto, ca
Posts: 401
When I reflect back to my social drinking escapades, I recall having an inner respect for those who chose to abstain from those venues and instead followed their own path and not the 'drinking herd'; now I humbly respect my own choice and am grateful for the adventures and opportunities afforded me by not hanging out in pubs/bars/clubs. No Regrets
Welcome to SR, Welcome to Freedom from the bondage!
Welcome to SR, Welcome to Freedom from the bondage!
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
Originally Posted by ellie123
24, f, uk
I attended my first AA meeting today after yet another drunken saturday upsetting friends and family. i felt the meeting went well and i plan on going again tomorrow.
Can anybody please offer advice regarding socialising in booze-fuelled circumstances. My friends are all drinkers so i will inevitably end up in pubs/clubs and i dont trust myself not to join in. It is worrying me greatly that i may not last this sobriety out. Thank you x
I attended my first AA meeting today after yet another drunken saturday upsetting friends and family. i felt the meeting went well and i plan on going again tomorrow.
Can anybody please offer advice regarding socialising in booze-fuelled circumstances. My friends are all drinkers so i will inevitably end up in pubs/clubs and i dont trust myself not to join in. It is worrying me greatly that i may not last this sobriety out. Thank you x
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,415
Welcome Ellie
Like most here, I had to make some changes. Most of my friends drank like me or worse.
Doesn't mean you have to be a hermit tho - there's a lot of things you could do where alcohol is not a necessity.
There are some good ideas here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html
if you can get a few close friends who support your sobriety to come along and do sober things too, so much the better
Like most here, I had to make some changes. Most of my friends drank like me or worse.
Doesn't mean you have to be a hermit tho - there's a lot of things you could do where alcohol is not a necessity.
There are some good ideas here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html
if you can get a few close friends who support your sobriety to come along and do sober things too, so much the better
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