Finally at turning point
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 10
Finally at turning point
Hello,
I have been abusing alcohol for 3 years drinking on average 4-5 units a day and binge drinking a few times a month. It runs in the family... I also have been diagnosed as having generalized anxiety and mild depression. Something is different after this last binge drinking episode where for 3 days I had alcohol constantly in my system. My anxiety level has been out of the roof and I realized my heart rate is high usually between 100 and 110. I got a blood pressure monitor and I would say my average blood pressure is 140/96. I have the shakes and sweat profusely, more so when I eat or my BAC is low. I know it is most likely alcohol withdrawal, but now I am worried that my thyroid is jacked up. I don't have any symptoms of liver or kidney disease but maybe pancreatitis bc of the sweating and diarrhea every once in a while. I am scared of losing my job, my friends, and my family. I don't know what to do.
I have been abusing alcohol for 3 years drinking on average 4-5 units a day and binge drinking a few times a month. It runs in the family... I also have been diagnosed as having generalized anxiety and mild depression. Something is different after this last binge drinking episode where for 3 days I had alcohol constantly in my system. My anxiety level has been out of the roof and I realized my heart rate is high usually between 100 and 110. I got a blood pressure monitor and I would say my average blood pressure is 140/96. I have the shakes and sweat profusely, more so when I eat or my BAC is low. I know it is most likely alcohol withdrawal, but now I am worried that my thyroid is jacked up. I don't have any symptoms of liver or kidney disease but maybe pancreatitis bc of the sweating and diarrhea every once in a while. I am scared of losing my job, my friends, and my family. I don't know what to do.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome to SR! I could have written your story almost verbatim...and it's a very common progression of alcoholism. Towards the end I HAD to drink just to keep my heart rate down and my BP was high too. My health anxiety was through the roof as well when I didn't drink, and even when I drank towards the end.
The good news is that nearly all of that improved dramatically once i got some sober time under my belt. I still deal with GAD but it's nothing close to what it was when I was drinking...alcohol makes it much, much worse.
I would recommend seeing a doctor before quitting though....for a couple of reasons. Mainly to make sure that you can detox safely first off..and secondly to get an overall wellness check on your vitals, bloodwork, etc. I was very deficient in some key nutritional areas due to drinking instead of eating well.
SR is a fantastic place to find support through the entire process, glad you have come here and made the decision to quit...you won't regret it!
The good news is that nearly all of that improved dramatically once i got some sober time under my belt. I still deal with GAD but it's nothing close to what it was when I was drinking...alcohol makes it much, much worse.
I would recommend seeing a doctor before quitting though....for a couple of reasons. Mainly to make sure that you can detox safely first off..and secondly to get an overall wellness check on your vitals, bloodwork, etc. I was very deficient in some key nutritional areas due to drinking instead of eating well.
SR is a fantastic place to find support through the entire process, glad you have come here and made the decision to quit...you won't regret it!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi and welcome.
Many drink with abandon thinking alcohol is a health drink. Depending on the person moderate drinking, 1-2 drinks a day MAY be OK. For an alcoholic that’s too many and we, for health and sanity reasons must stop, the earlier the better. That begins with NOT having the first drink one day at a time in a row. It’s that simple though not always easy.
We need to also do work to help us stay stopped and change some habits, characteristics developed over a period of time.
Much of the characteristics you describe will probably be reduced or eliminated with no alcohol intake.
BE WELL
Many drink with abandon thinking alcohol is a health drink. Depending on the person moderate drinking, 1-2 drinks a day MAY be OK. For an alcoholic that’s too many and we, for health and sanity reasons must stop, the earlier the better. That begins with NOT having the first drink one day at a time in a row. It’s that simple though not always easy.
We need to also do work to help us stay stopped and change some habits, characteristics developed over a period of time.
Much of the characteristics you describe will probably be reduced or eliminated with no alcohol intake.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Poconos PA
Posts: 1,544
Sounds like it's time quit, that's what to do. We've all been there, still active alcoholics and reaching that point we knew we would get to at some point. The moment when you realize that your alcohol use has become dangerous and no longer manageable. The first step would be deciding if detox would be dangerous to you and seeing a doctor if it is. If you are already without alcohol in your system for several days why not just stay sober? No time like the present. The sooner you start the journey out of alcohol's grasp the sooner you can put it behind you. Getting past the physical cravings is just the beginning, you will need to hunker down for the next few months to break the mental dependency but it is achievable. Most of us here can attest to that.
Welcome to the forum, come often in the beginning to help you feel stronger about staying quit. It really does help when you need to be around like minded people.
Welcome to the forum, come often in the beginning to help you feel stronger about staying quit. It really does help when you need to be around like minded people.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 10
Thank you all for the replies. The past 3 days I have been trying to taper. Starting Wednesday night I have had severe insomnia probably only getting 3-4 hours of sleep until last night where I think I got atleast 5 which felt like a relief. I am going to go see a doctor tomorrow.
I want to tell my family about it but my Dad has had severe struggles of his own and cant take any stress, this would surely stress him out when he is doing well at the moment. My mom has been taking care of him, had an alcoholic father, and I don't want to burden her anymore than she already is.
I want to tell my family about it but my Dad has had severe struggles of his own and cant take any stress, this would surely stress him out when he is doing well at the moment. My mom has been taking care of him, had an alcoholic father, and I don't want to burden her anymore than she already is.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by WantToEnjoyLife 
Thank you all for the replies. The past 3 days I have been trying to taper. Starting Wednesday night I have had severe insomnia probably only getting 3-4 hours of sleep until last night where I think I got atleast 5 which felt like a relief. I am going to go see a doctor tomorrow.
I want to tell my family about it but my Dad has had severe struggles of his own and cant take any stress, this would surely stress him out when he is doing well at the moment. My mom has been taking care of him, had an alcoholic father, and I don't want to burden her anymore than she already is.
I want to tell my family about it but my Dad has had severe struggles of his own and cant take any stress, this would surely stress him out when he is doing well at the moment. My mom has been taking care of him, had an alcoholic father, and I don't want to burden her anymore than she already is.
As hard as it is to ask for help, you need to be honest about this with yourself as well as others. Will it cause more stress for those around you? Possibly...but it will also cause regret and stress if you don't get help. More likely than not they know you have a problem anyway....as much as we like to think we are hiding it, others know.
Have you considered seeing your doctor or an alcohol coubselor? You will most likely not be able to do this entirely on your own.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Hi wantoenjoylife, you're going the right direction. Seeing your doctor will be helpful and probably a relief. Wait to see what he/she says before jumping to any conclusions about thyroid, liver, kidneys and pancreas. To me, sounds like classic alcohol withdrawal. Its unpleasant to be sure. And yes, the lack of sleep sucks, but again, normal. I would focus on getting that heart rate and BP down. Once you stabilize, make every effort to stay sober. Good luck, keep us posted.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 10
You are right ScottFromWI, I need to be honest with myself and everyone but I've been hiding behind lies for so long I feel like I don't know how and I'm scared about what will happen. I.E. I had abused alcohol earlier than the previous 3 years but not to the point where I had this many issues and I was able to stop. I have missed work and used other excuses, I have cancelled plans with friends, I've lied to my parents about completing a class towards a masters degree, and I've lied to my psychologist about how I was doing saying everything was fine. I'm just so sick of the lies and am scared that I wont be able to recover from them all. This awful drug has made me a bad person, and I let it.
Pressure makes diamonds
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 521
Welcome! I think it's normal to feel the anxiety you are currently feeling. After 7-10 days you will notice a big difference in how you feel as you will be through withdrawal period and the alcohol will be out of your body. Stick around here and read and post often. It will be a tremendous support system for you. Join the 24 hour club, you'll hold yourself accountable each day to continue moving forward. Sobriety is the best gift that you can give yourself.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Welcome to the family. 
Alcohol hasn't made you a 'bad person', only a very sick one. Once you stop depending on alcohol you will start to get better. I know you'll find a lot of support here. 
Alcohol hasn't made you a 'bad person', only a very sick one. Once you stop depending on alcohol you will start to get better. I know you'll find a lot of support here. 
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Northern Ireland
Posts: 290
You're not a bad person, just like most of us here have been many times, in a bad place because of your addiction.
But its beatable and you certainly seem to have the right attitude. I wish that I'd admitted to myself that my drinking was out of control at your age. Though I agree with ScottFromWI - very difficult to do all this on your own. Don't be scared to ask for help. Best of luck
But its beatable and you certainly seem to have the right attitude. I wish that I'd admitted to myself that my drinking was out of control at your age. Though I agree with ScottFromWI - very difficult to do all this on your own. Don't be scared to ask for help. Best of luck
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 10
I apologize for the bad person comment, Mac1 your way of putting it was much better, being in a bad place because of addiction.
I know health is much more important than anything else but I am worried about losing my job. I work for a large company so I could take a medical leave but I can tell my performance has been off of late and they will say I am not fit to work. :/
I know health is much more important than anything else but I am worried about losing my job. I work for a large company so I could take a medical leave but I can tell my performance has been off of late and they will say I am not fit to work. :/
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by WantToEnjoyLife
I apologize for the bad person comment, Mac1 your way of putting it was much better, being in a bad place because of addiction.
I know health is much more important than anything else but I am worried about losing my job. I work for a large company so I could take a medical leave but I can tell my performance has been off of late and they will say I am not fit to work. :/
I know health is much more important than anything else but I am worried about losing my job. I work for a large company so I could take a medical leave but I can tell my performance has been off of late and they will say I am not fit to work. :/
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 10
I guess my intent was to see what others experience was with getting a medical leave of absence to detox for the first time and if it led to them losing their job.
Note.. Do not mix melatonin with alcohol, it has the opposite desired effect.
Note.. Do not mix melatonin with alcohol, it has the opposite desired effect.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Northern Ireland
Posts: 290
I couldn't face lying any more and trying to think up new reasons for my frequent absences. Apart from work, the consequences of my drinking were hitting every other area of my life. It had got to a point where continuing to drink was even more painful than doing something about it.
Admitting to your employer that you have an alcohol problem is a big step. Once you've done it there's really no going back. In my case personnel became involved and the wheels were set in motion – lots of support through counselling, AA meetings and lots of HR reviews to establish if I was making progress. I entered a cycle where I could manage to abstain for a few days or weeks but always ended up relapsing. In itself each relapse was bad enough but it was so much worse with the spot light of my employers on things. In the end I decided to go for a 6 week residential rehab programme, best move I ever made! By that stage I was convinced that work would finally have ran out of patience and I would have no job to return to. The opposite was true, they've been fantastic. I've been back at work for a year now and they still keep a close eye on things but the frequency of reviews had lessened considerably and things are much more relaxed.
So as I said, telling your employer is a big step but in my case one I had to take. Maybe you could explore some other types of support first? I would strongly urge you to to meet with and get advice from other people in recovery e.g. ahve you thought of AA or any other support groups? I simply couldn't have managed all this on my own.
One last piece of advice – tapering off just didn't work for me. Tried it many times and it was always just a way of delaying the pain. Better to see your doctor and take things from there. You can do this - we're all rooting for you!
Admitting to your employer that you have an alcohol problem is a big step. Once you've done it there's really no going back. In my case personnel became involved and the wheels were set in motion – lots of support through counselling, AA meetings and lots of HR reviews to establish if I was making progress. I entered a cycle where I could manage to abstain for a few days or weeks but always ended up relapsing. In itself each relapse was bad enough but it was so much worse with the spot light of my employers on things. In the end I decided to go for a 6 week residential rehab programme, best move I ever made! By that stage I was convinced that work would finally have ran out of patience and I would have no job to return to. The opposite was true, they've been fantastic. I've been back at work for a year now and they still keep a close eye on things but the frequency of reviews had lessened considerably and things are much more relaxed.
So as I said, telling your employer is a big step but in my case one I had to take. Maybe you could explore some other types of support first? I would strongly urge you to to meet with and get advice from other people in recovery e.g. ahve you thought of AA or any other support groups? I simply couldn't have managed all this on my own.
One last piece of advice – tapering off just didn't work for me. Tried it many times and it was always just a way of delaying the pain. Better to see your doctor and take things from there. You can do this - we're all rooting for you!
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