Jaxsyer84

During my off drinking stints, it's amazing what a different person I am. I mean my job for example, I'll work 16 hour shifts, multiple times a week if I have to. I go shopping for clothes, get haircuts make myself presentable. I'm able mentality to accept my divorce or other things. I'll even make an effort to wax my car.

But then I make the choice that a little beer won't hurt all that. Stay in my apartment and don't answer calls, haven't showered in like days since I'm in my house anyway. Start crying about my ex. Then it spills into Monday night where I call out sick, then the next, then the next. Then all that guilt and depression afterwards. It's like people actually struggle with bipolar, and here I am creating it for myself

tomsteve

I'm not very familiar with too many mental and emotional disorders, but this read more like alcoholism.

ScottFromWI

Drinking can cause a lot of problems, both mental and physical. Sounds like you are experiencing both when you drink. The good news is that it's 100% preventable based on your choices. Have you considered a formal sobriety program so you don't take that first drink?

Jaxsyer84

I am now. After my last binge. Not before

Jaxsyer84

By the way, I'm not actually saying I'm bipolar. I was just making a Comparison as to how we choose a disease we done have while others struggle with it for their lives. Like I know I'm ok sober, then I make that turn into the store and by that beer. It's like a healthy person going to CVS and saying giving me some of the Depression and Anxiety PM. Beer flavored.

ScottFromWI

Each withdrawal can get progressively worse.

Wholesome

I know what you're saying. I'm the same way. When I'm sober I want to get things done and go out and be productive. I'm more patient and involved and social. I actually look forward to and enjoy exercising! I eat well and take better care of my pets and my loved ones.

But when I drank I isolated, procrastinated, got morose at times. Granted not all the time but enough of the time. I would spend the whole day on the couch with the curtains drawn avoiding the world.

These days I choose sobriety.

zjw

i can go from one extreme to the other while sober wonder if i'm bi-polar? Dr Google has diagnosed me with it numerous times.

When i'm drinking tho its the same But suppose an even more extreme form? but most would say i can be extreme one way or another even now.

My quality of life is better sober tho over all. I have more fight in me to push on through tough stuff in life rather then say screw it and pick up a case of beer. I make better decisions and better choices etc.. But i do tend to still float from one extreme to the other.

LimitedLemur

I've felt this way, myself. In fact, I joke to myself that one look at my apartment (or, admittedly, my hygiene) and you'd be able to tell whether I'm drinking or not. I don't think it's bipolar disorder (in my case) because my 'mania' (not drinking phase) doesn't negatively impact my life. I get racing thoughts and impulsive behavior, but overall, my life is a million times better.

So I would say not bipolar, just sober I've haven't gone more than a few months without drinking since I was like, 14 or so, so I'm interested to see if I fall into depression again. I still have 'down days', but things are mostly ok when I'm sober. I hope the same hold true for you. Just stick with it!

Debbie329

Yes....I know what your saying but isn't sabotaging ourselves part of the disease......I'm definitely more productive when I'm sober.....my son is visiting me and he said the house has never looked so clean......Of course I'm not drinking.....the less I drink the better everything gets it seems.

thomas11

Hey Jax, I understand what you are saying. The alcoholic/problem drinker's roller coaster. Is it kind of like a light switch, when its off, you sober life rocks on and you are productive, and when the switch is on, ITS ON? Then everything else is neglected until you turn the switch off again?