cejay

I just returned after my first AA meeting.

As others have in the past I thought I'd write about my experience.

I'd been resistant for years, I even quit for years with RR. Long story, started drinking again after a few years, it continued to get worse.

Now I'm starting to black out and my memory is really taking a hit. I'm high functioning with a great career (for now) and no legal problems (for now.)

I'm a voracious reader. I read every book you can think of. They all insisted that you don't need AA. I tried and tried. I declared personal issue with the God part, helplessness part, being in a group. You name it.

I started listening to a lot of podcasts and they are great.

I told myself if I couldn't stay sober, that if I got drunk again I'd have to give it a try. Well after only getting a day here or there maybe 2-3 and getting black out drunk and being hung over. Saturday I was feeling sad about a recent break up and I knowling said I know I have a problem and I'm gonna get drunk anyway and quit tomorrow.

I stayed sober today. I looked up meetings this afternoon and I found a "newcomer" meeting close to my house and I went.

I moved across the continent and work from home. I know almost nobody here.

So I went. First I drove by and saw a bunch of people waiting, wasn't sure if I was going to go and then said hell yes you are CJ. So I pulled U turn and parked.

After a minute someone said "hello" to me and I asked him if I was in the "right spot" and the fella said yeah but the meeting is in there. So I went in and sat down.

The meeting leader introduced herself and people filed in. The meeting got started, they read the steps, rules, etc and asked questions. I was the only first timer there. There were maybe 12-15 people or so and some of them told their stories about their problems with alcohol. I was the youngest. (save a few children)

I almost cried at the first story. I was sad. I wondered, what reduced me to being here with these people? They all looked me in the eye as they told their stories and I can't say I have had the problems that most of them had (yet) but I can say I really related to these people and the struggles they had. We had a lot in common.

They gave me a 24 hr chip, a hug, and some phone numbers and then a few of us went for Chinese food, where I got to know some of the old timers. They clarified the Higher Power parts, and mentioned how they were Atheists and what the helplessness means.

They were really friendly and we talked, I told parts of my story. These are things that I've never told anyone. We all really related to one another when it cames to struggles and "yets."

I resisted AA for so long! I even read the Big Book a few times. I will be shooting for 90 in 90, I can't hit it due to some business trips and I am going to check out a couple other meetings but as I said, I'm home. I need these people and it was a great experience.


Edit: The point I'm trying to make is if you (like me) are resisting it, without having ever gone maybe you should try before writing it off. Only time will tell if it works for me but nothing else has yet so I didn't have anything to lose by trying it.

CJ.

greens

Awesome cejay! Glad you had a good experience

Coldfusion

That's great to hear, CJ! Remember your experience, and pass it on!

ScottFromWI

Fantastic story Cejay, very happy to hear that you have found support that is very powerful indeed.. Thank you for sharing.

Elphaba

Hey thanks for posting. My story is very similar to yours, and I'm trying to muster up the courage to go to a meeting.

tomsteve

And I can relate to that. I was completely full of fear walking into my first meeting. MANY MANY fears. One of the main ones was how was my life going to be without alcohol. Which another fear helped me get into that first meeting:
The fear of what my life was going to be if I didn't go.
Been goin back , worked the steps, and practice the principles since and I can honestly say that even this morning I was thinking how greatful a d blessed I am to have just did it.

Soberwolf

Welcome to SR Cejay

Berrybean

Awesome. I'm so happy for you. I've met some amazing people through AA. It was the best thing I ever did going along.

cejay

Elphaba,

It was the most receptive, friendly group I've ever met. It felt really good to be with people who understand what I'm struggling with.

I'm going to try a different meeting tonight to try and see if I can find some people closer to my age.

Both personally and professional, the best things that come to me usually come from me doing something that makes me uncomfortable.

CJ.

Dharma33

Outstanding!!!! Thanks for posting your experience.

When you are traveling and you can, maybe you can find a meeting close to your hotel? If not, we at SR are here 24/7 so stay close.

Very proud of you for taking that brave step, CJ.

tomsteve

That there is some very valuable wisdom!

sugarbear1

(520) 624-4183 Intergroup in Tucson

Call and ask if there are any Young People in AA meetings around your area

Gottalife

Thanks for a wonderful insightful post cejay. I think most AA members resist and resist to the last. I am not sure why. Like many I look back and wonder why I didn't grab it sooner. I got sober at 22 but could have avoided a lot of pain if I had taken earlier opportunities.

Still, as I heard some one say once, "you can only hear what you can hear when you can hear it, and you can only see what you can see when you can see it"

All the best

Fly N Buy

Good for you! Glad you went and glad you're here with us!

There's a line in the book which I identify with - "contempt prior to investigation". That was me and still can be

Keep coming back@

Eddiebuckle

Great post CJ. By the way, I would be surprised to hear of a city in the US that has a commercial airport but no AA meetings. Internationally, it can be a little harder to find meetings, but AA is worldwide. Some of the best meetings I've been to were while travelling.

Good luck, keep up the good work!

NewDay79

Good luck!

IOAA2

Hi and thanks for your great post as to how it is at so many meetings.

I’m not a “heavy duty traveler” but have had a fair amount over the years. Someone above suggested meetings in your travels which is a great idea. I’m grateful to have been to meetings in a good number of areas in the US along with Australia and NZ. What a great way to spend an evening in a unknown area with fellowship people who gave me so many “be sure to see or go there” advise besides not isolating in a motel room.

BE WELL

cejay

Thank you for your replies!!

I went to meeting #2 last night. I saw some people that I recognized me and they welcomed me back. I met new people, some of which I related better with. All in all a good experience. I heard new (but familiar stories).

I left with a lot of questions. I think its going to be time to get a sponsor soon to start discussing my questions.

I found myself wanting a drink after the meeting. I thought about it and I was hungry so I went to the grocery store that doesn't stock the beer I like and made myself a really nice dinner and got over the craving.

You're right, there are meetings all over but I cannot for about a 2 week period I will not be able to get to one with a reasonable amount of effort. It would be like 1.5 hr drive each way kind of thing.
It's hard to explain here without revealing too much about myself. Thats ok. I have a plan.
I'm going to get a sponsor, I will have internet, there are online meetings, podcasts. I will have my phone and SR. I will make it. That's the best I can do.

Thanks all for your replies, they are very touching and encouraging.

CJ

Sasha4

Some of the nicest, kindest, most switched on, coolest, understanding, empathetic people I have ever met were the the people at AA.

I also think you are really kind for sharing here what you experienced.

SoberCAH

I am sure glad that you found AA, amigo.

I hope that you keep going back.

I haven't had a drink since I walked into my first AA meeting back in 1988.

I keep going, because I love the results.

Keep us posted on your efforts.