Scared of upcoming holiday!
 

or to be more precise - scared of drinking on upcoming holiday!

First off, sorry I haven't posted on here for a while , I only seem to post when I want something! I'll try and rectify that in due course.....

In a few days, me and Mrs Hendrix are off for a week to a Greek island - I've been really comfortable in my own skin of late and felt strong and confident - something that took a right hammering when I was drinking.
Part of me is wondering how I'll be able to enjoy a week in the sun and avoid the temptations of the tavernas and beach bars and part of me is wondering how it would be if I had the odd cold beer while I 'm away as I've earned it....I know where this would lead but I want to go and not hold any resentments for my wife who will, without doubt have a drink at the airport at both ends and oft times in between.....
My AV is telling me already that if she can do it why can't I?
Why do I feel so resentful as if I'm missing out all of a sudden? I don't even like the smell of her wine when she pours a glass now and the craving for alcohol is no longer there - maybe I shouldn't have booked the holiday in the first place..............

the idea of "earning" drink is pretty bizarre, when you really look at it.
it's certainly pushed by the booze industry, though...

the idea of "earning" anything for doing something good and necessary for us, by our own choice, implies we're doing something awful, horrid, punitive, and need to be "rewarded".

it's an insane idea, and makes no logical sense whatsoever.

you're already reaping the real rewards: you're feeling strong and have confidence and can go, or decide not to go, on a holiday to Greece. you've earned the choices. the reward of being able to make them.

I agree it really is part of an image you've been sold.... that the only way to have fun and let loose is to drink. It's not real.

I don't just mean you.... I mean all of us.

Certainly there must be another type of drink you really enjoy? While she is enjoying her wine, grab whatever new favorite is yours. Get high of the feel of where you are at that moment. Surely, a beautiful day on a resort island will have it's own intoxicating atmosphere. Soak it in and forget about the rest.

Hi Hendrix, does this sound familiar or ring a bell?

"My AV doesn't want to sip the beer in the sun or savour a glass of wine at sunset - it wants to get smashed with absolute abandon knowing that there would be the opportunity to drink through the nausea to avoid the hangover the next day".

I don't want that - I'm going to get up early to enjoy the morning, explore the island appreciating its beauty, swim and snorkel in the crystal water, relax in the calm peaceful atmosphere knowing that as long as I recognise what is me and what is AV then I need never return to that hell again.

I hear ya though, I'd certainly have the same thoughts. But you have over 7 month (I believe), give this one a go with no beer. Just enjoy it with a clear head. If its unbearable and you are not ready, fly home. Based on your past threads, it would be a minor sacrifice to retain your sobriety. Correct?

I was always grateful in my first marriage
that my husband respected me and my
recovery as to not want to drink around
me. He didn't really have to because he
didn't have an addiction problem, a
normie as they are called.

However, because he and his folks did
the intervention on me and firmly told
me that if I ever took a drink in our house
again, then my butt would be out.

Of course I remained sober for 24 yrs
now, and decided to do so for myself
and not for what he wanted me to do.
It was my decision and my recovery and
life and I did whatever I needed and wanted
to do to remain sober using a recovery
program taught to me.

Respect, understanding, communication
are all important in a marriage, relationship,
recovery between all members involved.

I was the one in recovery within our 4 member
family unit where the other 3 had no addiction
problems. However, they didn't and would truly
understand me as an alcoholic, a mom and wife
in recovery because they were not alcoholics.

It takes one to know one.

The lack of understand and communication
eventually ended our 25 yr marriage sad to
say.

Today I am 6 yrs happily married to my husband
who is in recovery with me, so we can communicate
and understand each others recovery which is
extremely important to both of us.

Respect, communication, understanding,
love and care work hand in hand for couples,
family, relationships to remain healthy, happy
and honest living in a recovery life. :)

Hendrix - make a plan for what to do when that thought strikes. Me, personally, I ask God to remove the obsession and then I recall, with very specific detail, a really horrible experience from my drinking days. Once you've made a plan, relax, stop worrying, and enjoy your trip. I think it will turn out much easier to stay sober than you think right now.

Good to hear from you Hendrix i remember you saying about this trip & i think you have thought & planned wisely you can take SR with you and post the beautiful views

Keep posting Hendrix

Thanks for your thoughts and comments folks - and Thomas, thanks for reminding me what I said a couple of months ago.........

it's surprised me again - after my AV has been so quiet for so long that it's planning on drinking so far in advance. Almost plotting its next move!

We leave tomorrow and I've been arguing with myself all day. Some of the nonsense that is going on in my head is ridiculous. It feels lilting I'm almost planning a relapse - hoping for a disagreement that leads to an argument to 'justify' me having a drink.

Have a good time keep reminding yourself why you got sober bud that will help

Think of all the stuff youl appreciate more by being sober the mornings at the beach the food the night life you can do this Hendrix have you got SR on your mobile ?

Spk when your bk Hendrix send a digital postcard to SR if you want

It feels lilting I'm almost planning a relapse -

change plans!
plan for sobriety.
put stuff in place to keep going with THAT plan.

I think we can really psyche ourselves out worrying about upcoming trips like that. :) In my experience, every time, when I was worried about drinking on an upcoming trip or at an upcoming event, it turned out to be no big deal. I came to conclude that fear itself is more triggering than the events, but one thing that helped me a lot is making plans - if I DO feel triggered at this event, what can I do, specifically? That helps calm the fears (you know you have tools to apply) even if you don't actually need to use them.

When I drink bad things happen to me. My inability to be a successful drinker has nothing to do with anyone else.

It is like feeling jealous that someone else doesn't have cancer because you do

Yeah I definitely get the pysching ourselves up too much, like the AV knows where to needle "Hey vaca is different, it's not everyday, yeah yeah you got the everyday thing, but looook this is different" Boogey man scare tactics.
The only thing I had to do once on a trip was decide how cranky I was going to let myself be. Turned out I didn't have to be much different, drinking at home is off the table as an option , not because I am home, its off the table always, I just happen to be at home. You got this, just work on trying not to be too cranky, and hopefully that shouldnt really be a big concern. Enjoy yourself , its Vaca :)

Hope you had a good flight bud

Well this is the last night and up until just now I've been really pleased with myself.
We were just at this restaurant - overlooking the sea, Sun setting behind the mountains - I ordered a lemonade for me and a beer for Mrs Hendrix.
When the drinks were brought to the table they assumed the beer was mine and placed a cold half litre of local lager right under my nose!
I'm afraid I threw my toys out of my pram and sulked saying how I was no longer hungry and didn't want to eat.
I don't thought I would be ok and desperately wanted a special meal to round off the holiday but I ruined it. We're now back in our room, she's reading on the balcony and I'm on here.
I know all the reasons why I can't have one but still feel really cheated tonight.
I'm pissed off hungry and now I'm in the dog house......

But you didn't drink!!!

You can get over a minor temper tantrum easier than drinking again right?

Congrats dude!

Here's a song for you to cheer you up!