novascotiapaddy

Anyone here connect with this? My real deep down emotions for some reason can only ever be found with alcohol. I want to pick up the phone and tell my mother I love her. All the time. She's not getting any younger and I can ever only feel the emotions to do this when im pissed and my mind gets freed up and deep.

I wish I could just pour my heart and soul out to my mom as I am.

ScottFromWI

I used to think that too. Looking back those weren't my real emotions though...I was just drunk. Granted it takes some time, but I've found that real emotions can be far more powerul sober.

theMiz

I really think that drunk emotion is just so fake. Most of the time your regret what you said or did. When feelings let out sober, I never felt weird or embarrassed. Alcohol really turns up the "unusual" emotions for me. Not sincere, just dramatic and a little exaggerated, hence why I feel stupid the next day when think about what I said, usually embarrassed.

mcfearless

I relate totally to this. Part of the appeal of alcohol to me was getting wasted and then just sobbing my eyes out on feel good youtube videos etc or going out and randomly falling in love with someone I just met etc.

Sober I'm quite cold and withdrawn. However I do understand a little about what's going on with my neurotransmitters and this "flat effect" will pass with time. As we get older our natural levels of dopamine and serotonin do decrease (hence why most elderly people are generally in many ways more care free and "wise"....or cynical and grumpy depends on how they deal).

That's just life. Maybe it's a male thing, but after spending a night with my soppy drunk housemate last night, all tearful and irrational and wanting to talk about how he loves me/his dad etc....I can do without the histrionics and bull. I'd certainly rather not be the one acting that way and rather share my feelings in a sincere and dignified way. A little real emotion goes a lot further than slurred out blurtations fueled by chemicals.

zjw

yep same here. I'm the quite guy in the corner and happy to be there. I got emotions but they just dont show much. give me a few drinks and i can get all sorts of emotional. and I'll be honest it seemingly felt good to let the emotions out and to feel as if i was being true to my emotions. Being able to have the courage and bravery to tell someone how you really feel good or bad was one thing I did like. and while many people would say Oh your just drunk they dont realize i was finally saying what i always wanted too.

I dunno I dont think i was simply drunk. I think i was able to express emotions I otherwise struggled to express.

now of course the downside is I'd also unleash the bad things about how i really felt too upon occaision.

mcfearless

Meh. I do hope I'm able to adjust booze free to have the levels of "deep emotions" I could have while fueled with booze. But if I don't I'll just go back to being the quiet, stoic man of the earlier generations. Far too many self absorbed, narcissists saturating the world with their "feelings" today as it is.

chiro

Drunk emotions are not necessarily fake they are inappropriate or displaced. Sober up and think about how you, "Feel," then man up and directly put your feelings into words. Write it down when you are sober. Writing can be the mirror of your mind. :-)

seashell628

You can still access that part of you, its all about mindfullness. It can be an uncomfortable place because it requires you be vunerable (scary right?!). When youre drunk, you can get there because you don't have those walls up. Its why some people "have to " drink to have ..ahem..adult relations.

I'm working on this with myself now. The whole "being present" thing is starting to make sense to me. We have to learn to let yourself feel stuff as it happens instead of pushing it deep down. I suspect that's how we got here in the first place

Gottalife

The most difficult question to answer in early sobriety was "how are you feeling?" I had no idea. I would not have known a genuine emotion if I fell over it. It was some time before I began to experience what people refer to as normal emotions.

My drunken expressions of emotion were very much instinct driven, self serving and manipulative, or just plain crazy.

SoberHoopsFan

I used to think that too but that was just the addicted part of my brain feeding me another lie to keep me drinking. You have plenty of real emotions that would come out in sobriety, if you can stay dry long enough. Emotions while under the influence aren't even emotions, they are just exaggerated nonsense that most of us regret saying anyway.

The key to getting sober is figuring out what is true and what is the addicted part of your brain just telling you to make it keeps you drinking. Whenever you have those thoughts, turn it around... instead of "I only have emotions when I'm drunk" ask yourself "is it really possible that I only have emotions after imbibing a poison that dulls my senses?" You will see that most of the lies that alcohol tells us are just illogical nonsense that rarely makes any sense when you challenge it internally.