Update
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
SIT, you've shared many challenges here. There have been setbacks and victories for you. You've offered kind support to many on the journey. You've also made some posts that I suspect you wish you hadn't; there have been apologies, which is commendable.
You've discussed your aspirations to counsel others.
I'll preface what I'm about to say with my hope that it's received in the spirit in which it's delivered, that being concern for you.
That said, this latest post suggests a significant distance between healthy decision-making and the mindset that's guiding your life and your decisions. This isn't a first. While you're technically correct that the scale is showing a lower weight, others are correct in pointing out that this is an unhealthy -- even potentially dangerous -- way to go about weight loss.
If you were in the position of counseling someone who described the wish to have bones showing and that "let's just hope I don't have to start throwing up to lose weight because I will," would you think that was emotionally healthy?
At one point, you mentioned inpatient. I encourage you to revisit that option. Much of what you share with us indicates a true need for help.
You've discussed your aspirations to counsel others.
I'll preface what I'm about to say with my hope that it's received in the spirit in which it's delivered, that being concern for you.
That said, this latest post suggests a significant distance between healthy decision-making and the mindset that's guiding your life and your decisions. This isn't a first. While you're technically correct that the scale is showing a lower weight, others are correct in pointing out that this is an unhealthy -- even potentially dangerous -- way to go about weight loss.
If you were in the position of counseling someone who described the wish to have bones showing and that "let's just hope I don't have to start throwing up to lose weight because I will," would you think that was emotionally healthy?
At one point, you mentioned inpatient. I encourage you to revisit that option. Much of what you share with us indicates a true need for help.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic USA
Posts: 2,441
Originally Posted by Soberintexas007 
Sorry, Scott. But you are incorrect on this one. The fact that my weight today is 13 pounds lower than it was one week ago, I have lost weight. Maybe not as much as what I believe, but I have lost weight. But you are right in that the fact that I don't care about health problems is indicative of other problems. Let's just hope that I don't have to start throwing up to lose weight because I will. When you are desperate for results, there are no boundaries with me. I will do anything to feel better about myself.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,256
Had a difficult time falling asleep tonight. Yes, I am addressing these issues with my therapist. She is aware of the 13 pounds I lost, as well as my other eating issues. But for whatever reason, she did not seem too concerned.
Actually, this is what she said. She said that people used to have to scavenger in the forest for food, and now everything is so abundantly available that it is difficult for people to maintain their weight where they want it to be.
Let me be totally honest with you all. I was busy earlier recovering from the visit with my in laws, although it did go well. I really don't believe in eating disorders. I have a desire to be thin and will do whatever I can do accomplish that goal. This desire and my means to achieve it is pathologized by our society, but I don't agree with it. The reality is that I did lose 13 pounds, I am feeling healthy and okay, so I really don't care what others have to say. And if I had a client who expressed such a desire to be thin, I would encourage them to go for it.
Actually, this is what she said. She said that people used to have to scavenger in the forest for food, and now everything is so abundantly available that it is difficult for people to maintain their weight where they want it to be.
Let me be totally honest with you all. I was busy earlier recovering from the visit with my in laws, although it did go well. I really don't believe in eating disorders. I have a desire to be thin and will do whatever I can do accomplish that goal. This desire and my means to achieve it is pathologized by our society, but I don't agree with it. The reality is that I did lose 13 pounds, I am feeling healthy and okay, so I really don't care what others have to say. And if I had a client who expressed such a desire to be thin, I would encourage them to go for it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,256
Originally Posted by Venecia
SIT, you've shared many challenges here. There have been setbacks and victories for you. You've offered kind support to many on the journey. You've also made some posts that I suspect you wish you hadn't; there have been apologies, which is commendable.
You've discussed your aspirations to counsel others.
I'll preface what I'm about to say with my hope that it's received in the spirit in which it's delivered, that being concern for you.
That said, this latest post suggests a significant distance between healthy decision-making and the mindset that's guiding your life and your decisions. This isn't a first. While you're technically correct that the scale is showing a lower weight, others are correct in pointing out that this is an unhealthy -- even potentially dangerous -- way to go about weight loss.
If you were in the position of counseling someone who described the wish to have bones showing and that "let's just hope I don't have to start throwing up to lose weight because I will," would you think that was emotionally healthy?
At one point, you mentioned inpatient. I encourage you to revisit that option. Much of what you share with us indicates a true need for help.
You've discussed your aspirations to counsel others.
I'll preface what I'm about to say with my hope that it's received in the spirit in which it's delivered, that being concern for you.
That said, this latest post suggests a significant distance between healthy decision-making and the mindset that's guiding your life and your decisions. This isn't a first. While you're technically correct that the scale is showing a lower weight, others are correct in pointing out that this is an unhealthy -- even potentially dangerous -- way to go about weight loss.
If you were in the position of counseling someone who described the wish to have bones showing and that "let's just hope I don't have to start throwing up to lose weight because I will," would you think that was emotionally healthy?
At one point, you mentioned inpatient. I encourage you to revisit that option. Much of what you share with us indicates a true need for help.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,256
And for those of you who wonder about my credibility, I graduated at the top of my class in middle school, high school, college, and my master's graduate class. I know my stuff!!!
My therapist loves working with me because I am different. I don't go along with mainstream society; I challenge it!
My therapist loves working with me because I am different. I don't go along with mainstream society; I challenge it!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 1,111
Sober...you might a little bit more poorly than you think you are. Wish you luck, but I find it hard to cheer and commend you when, as others have said, much of your decision making seems unhealthy to us outsiders.
P
P
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,256
My thoughts, ideas and behaviors have been positively reinforced by others in academic/psychological positions. So is it really my fault for thinking highly of myself?
Remember, something is not a problem until it becomes a problem. I really have not encountered any problems in my life. It would be foolish of me to pathologize my own behavior when I really have never experienced any negative consequences.
Remember, something is not a problem until it becomes a problem. I really have not encountered any problems in my life. It would be foolish of me to pathologize my own behavior when I really have never experienced any negative consequences.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 1,111
Perhaps that's because you have a lot of people around you that enable you...including your counsellor/psychiatrist etc.
Perhaps there's a risk that we here on SR can get pulled in to enabling you also. If by trying to be nice, people hold back from expressing genuine concern.
P
Perhaps there's a risk that we here on SR can get pulled in to enabling you also. If by trying to be nice, people hold back from expressing genuine concern.
P
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,256
I apologize if my previous posts came across as egocentric - I was just feeling a little bit defensive about my weight loss. I feel fine, and I am not going to stop what I am doing just because someone offers me this other information.
Why would someone like me go to inpatient rehab? There has to be impairment in someone's life for that even to be rationalized. What impairment am I currently experiencing? And my therapist agrees. I have suffered ZERO consequences because of my "addictions."
All of your stories are truly amazing to me, and I love reading about them and trying to help in whatever way I can. And I actually think people are more open and honest on these types of virtual boards than they are in person. Which makes sense, I guess, because these boards are anonymous and more discreet.
I am just sharing with you my experience, my thoughts, my ideas. To not share what I think and believe would be disingenuous and deceitful.
And to prove that I am being totally honest with you....sometimes I believe I changed genders from male to female at the age of 27 not because I am transgender, but because I did not like living my life as a gay male. I believed that changing into a woman would make more sense, and to this day I am happy with my decision. But in order for my change to happen, I had to play the "role" of being transgender to the psychological community, or else I would never have been "approved" to take on my transformation. Adults should have the right to change genders if they want; they should not have to fulfill a diagnostic criteria.
Why would someone like me go to inpatient rehab? There has to be impairment in someone's life for that even to be rationalized. What impairment am I currently experiencing? And my therapist agrees. I have suffered ZERO consequences because of my "addictions."
All of your stories are truly amazing to me, and I love reading about them and trying to help in whatever way I can. And I actually think people are more open and honest on these types of virtual boards than they are in person. Which makes sense, I guess, because these boards are anonymous and more discreet.
I am just sharing with you my experience, my thoughts, my ideas. To not share what I think and believe would be disingenuous and deceitful.
And to prove that I am being totally honest with you....sometimes I believe I changed genders from male to female at the age of 27 not because I am transgender, but because I did not like living my life as a gay male. I believed that changing into a woman would make more sense, and to this day I am happy with my decision. But in order for my change to happen, I had to play the "role" of being transgender to the psychological community, or else I would never have been "approved" to take on my transformation. Adults should have the right to change genders if they want; they should not have to fulfill a diagnostic criteria.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,256
Originally Posted by paulokes
Perhaps that's because you have a lot of people around you that enable you...including your counsellor/psychiatrist etc.
Perhaps there's a risk that we here on SR can get pulled in to enabling you also. If by trying to be nice, people hold back from expressing genuine concern.
P
Perhaps there's a risk that we here on SR can get pulled in to enabling you also. If by trying to be nice, people hold back from expressing genuine concern.
P
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,256
Life is about making choices. Each choice we make has an effect. I am happy with my life right now. I am not fearful anymore. I am making progress. And I think I have made this progress because I am not help captive anymore by the labels society attempts to put on people to control them.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,256
OMG - I need to share this. So my mother in law told me today that her stepson broke up with his girlfriend two weeks ago, and this is after she told me several months ago that they were so good together.
Well, I had met this couple for the first time a year ago at my sister in law's wedding, and they sat at our table with my husband and me. After spending the first ten minutes with them, I KNEW THEY WOULD NOT MAKE IT. The famous psychologist John Gottman has testified that he can tell if couples will make it just by spending 15 minutes with them (I think it is 15 minutes?).
Anyways, I SO wanted to tell my mother in law and father in law (I think that is what you would call him since she remarried?) that I saw this coming. But I didn't. But I SOOOO wanted to....I know that was my ego, but anyways, just wanted to share that.
Well, I had met this couple for the first time a year ago at my sister in law's wedding, and they sat at our table with my husband and me. After spending the first ten minutes with them, I KNEW THEY WOULD NOT MAKE IT. The famous psychologist John Gottman has testified that he can tell if couples will make it just by spending 15 minutes with them (I think it is 15 minutes?).
Anyways, I SO wanted to tell my mother in law and father in law (I think that is what you would call him since she remarried?) that I saw this coming. But I didn't. But I SOOOO wanted to....I know that was my ego, but anyways, just wanted to share that.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,256
Originally Posted by Chrissy2014
I've followed you posts and I will be blunt. If you need help, ask and it shall be given. However, self indulgence turns my stomach. Best of luck to you on whatever journey you are on.
And please look up the word "righteous."
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 611
Sober - you are not feeling fine, in a previous post you mention having stomach pains....you're speed of loosing weight is wrong and harmful to your organs.
I just want you to be careful how hard you hammer your body as we can do damage we cant un do. You think you have it nailed but your views on weight loss and exercise are very skewed. Work out an hour per day and eat at least 1500 calories. You will loose weight consistantly. Drink more water, severe dehydration can wreck your kidneys.
Also maybe review your therapist and make sure they are giving you every thing they should be.
I just want you to be careful how hard you hammer your body as we can do damage we cant un do. You think you have it nailed but your views on weight loss and exercise are very skewed. Work out an hour per day and eat at least 1500 calories. You will loose weight consistantly. Drink more water, severe dehydration can wreck your kidneys.
Also maybe review your therapist and make sure they are giving you every thing they should be.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
I would recommend seeing a medical doctor and a different therapist sober. You are making poor decisions about your health that could cause you substantial harm. It really doesn't matter if you "believe" you are or not, you are doing it. It also doesn't matter where you went to college, what your mother in law thinks or what profession you are seeking. You need help, and quite frankly posting over and over about how you don't need it is counterproductive not only to you but those around you as well.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 478
Hi SIT, It's your EQ, not your IQ I am concerned about.
Losing weight is great! Wanting to see bones, not so much. But you already know that.
IMHO, I am thinking your alcohol issues are rooted in codependency, and the eating issues are another form of control. Unhealthy control, just like moderating someone else's drinking with rules.
I realize one MUST address the alcoholic drinking first; however, I strongly encourage you to consider ALL of this may be rooted in codependency--the need to control. Anything just so you don't have to process your own pain.
Please consider a new therapist--they are human and don't know it all. Especially in certain fields of addiction and codependency. They may be able to throw the words around, but have no clue what the real meaning is.
You are an honest, compassionate human being. You deserve to process the pain that is pushed down right now, get to the other side, and see how beautiful life is when you aren't worried about anything except being grateful for the present moment. Peace. Serenity.
Hugs.
Losing weight is great! Wanting to see bones, not so much. But you already know that.
IMHO, I am thinking your alcohol issues are rooted in codependency, and the eating issues are another form of control. Unhealthy control, just like moderating someone else's drinking with rules.
I realize one MUST address the alcoholic drinking first; however, I strongly encourage you to consider ALL of this may be rooted in codependency--the need to control. Anything just so you don't have to process your own pain.
Please consider a new therapist--they are human and don't know it all. Especially in certain fields of addiction and codependency. They may be able to throw the words around, but have no clue what the real meaning is.
You are an honest, compassionate human being. You deserve to process the pain that is pushed down right now, get to the other side, and see how beautiful life is when you aren't worried about anything except being grateful for the present moment. Peace. Serenity.
Hugs.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 2,459
Staying up all night writing post after post with seemingly randomness (mania), gender identity issues, eating disorder, addiction. Please get some help. If you are in therapy now, you must find another therapist who won't enable you. If you intend on being a counselor in Texas (or anywhere else) you have to adhere to the ACA rules regarding counselor wellness. American Counseling Association Online education resources CE ethics publications careers conferences
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Hi SIT.
I don't know what happened to your more recent thread, so I'll post here.
I didn't comment earlier because it was clear that you were drinking. I'm not happy about being right. As is true of many people, your drinking self and your non-drinking self are very distinct.
Yet I think it may also be helpful to take a look at the things you wrote earlier this morning, about your not believing in eating disorders, treatment or conventional wisdom, particularly in terms of your not acknowledging that you've suffered any negative consequences due to your behaviors. If nothing else, these sentiments, without regard to your mental state at the time, signal a level of denial on your part that is only making things worse.
It may now be helpful for you to seek out a different level of care since the help and support you currently have is not working for you.
I don't know what happened to your more recent thread, so I'll post here.
I didn't comment earlier because it was clear that you were drinking. I'm not happy about being right. As is true of many people, your drinking self and your non-drinking self are very distinct.
Yet I think it may also be helpful to take a look at the things you wrote earlier this morning, about your not believing in eating disorders, treatment or conventional wisdom, particularly in terms of your not acknowledging that you've suffered any negative consequences due to your behaviors. If nothing else, these sentiments, without regard to your mental state at the time, signal a level of denial on your part that is only making things worse.
It may now be helpful for you to seek out a different level of care since the help and support you currently have is not working for you.
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