Today's eff up.
 

No I didn't drink. I really want to.
Every day there will be failure and humiliation, I just never know what it will be because of my stupid brain that does not work right. And I have horrible anxiety over what it will be because I will be having an ok day and i always, always do something stupid.
Today it was coming up over 30 dollars short in my drawer at work because I cannot, literally cannot do math or handle money and the damn machine is so old I have to do it all in my head or expose myself for the ****** I am and drag a calculator out. You can't imagine how humiliating it is to have such difficulty with basic arithematic.
Well it figures then I'd fail at all aspects of life, which I have.
That 30 bucks had to come out of my pocket, and 30 dollars is an entire half a day's pay for me. Half a ten hour, locked inside no breaks day.
I was in tears.

Oh, sweetie. I'm so sorry. (((HUGS)))

Thanks Suki I really need a hug :(
It wears me out so much to be this way, I am just tired of being me.

Sorry about your headaches (migraine?) :hug:

I'm sorry too sleepie.

I don't think you're right in thinking that everyone else must be a brilliant mathematician, though.

I often use a calculator.

D

(((sleepie))) :hug:

Days like this I feel I deserve the one thing that makes me feel good at least for awhile. I'm already a ****** so what's the use? Yeah AV and all that I am not gonna drink but I am so angry about it all.

You need to challenge that voice sleepie - you're not a ******....and sometimes tills don't balance - even for the best of us :)

D

Sorry to hear about that situation, Sleepie. Hopefully tomorrow is better!

sleepie, you are a wonderful caring sensitive creative woman.
You are loving and kind, and you have so much talent.
We all have different skills ~ I would give anything to be able to draw like you can. We love all of your artwork.

I am sorry for your awful day, and it is really hard to lose $30. I know...I would be miserable as well.

It is easy to berate ourselves when we're feeling low.
But it was just a mistake love; it happens a lot.
I think any of us who have ever used a till occasionally do this.
You get busy, and somehow someone gets the wrong change.

Sending you love and hugs. ♥ :hug:

Thanks vee and everyone.
I was so distracted and anxious today I kept putting 20's in the 5 drawer. I just hate that someone walked off with it too... I would never, I would feel like a total creep.

Yes....some people aren't honest. But you never know, they may not have checked their change. Lots of people don't.

Sleepie- you have got to be easier on yourself. You wouldn't speak to a friend or a stranger the way you speak to yourself. That needs to stop. Most people I know struggle with making change. It doesn't make you a ****** ( which is an extremely offensive word)

I don't know what country you live in but is it possible for you to get a medical leave of some kind so you can work on your emotional state for a while and find a different job?

sleepie, is it just distraction or are you having trouble making change? You know the pre-electronic method of making change? Most don't these days.

You make a $5.67 sale. They hand you a $10

Count up from 5.67 to 10 pulling change from the drawer into your hand.
Start with pennies. 68...69...70
A nickel makes it $0.75
A quarter makes $6
Now pull $1's. 7...8...9...10.
Change of $5.67 from $10
No math, no calculator. I still don't know the amount of change.

Hope that helps.

Also when I was in retail I always laid the money they gave me at the top until I gave them their change. Never put it away till you are done. Then you always know what they gave you and no one can try to tell you they gave you a $20 instead of a $10.

I use a calculator. I have to. I cannot do math in my head. There's no shame in that. Stop being so mean to yourself, please. :hug:

Sleepie, I'm so sorry about your monetary loss :(. Proud of you for being sober tho! I've been an employer for years--there is nothing wrong with using a calculator or a scratch pad! Everyone has their strong points and their weaknesses at work, I always have told my people-- whatever it takes to get the job done well, let's do that! Calculator is fine. I wish your boss would've made up the 30 tho, stuff happens.

I am so sorry that happened to you. I'm not a math whiz either but something I figured out was that I was far harder on myself than anyone else ever was. Most often people are much more interested in themselves than they are in whether you are using a calculator. I know my smart phone has a calculator-can you use that? It might make it a little more comfortable for you that way.

I had a Special Needs adult at the Senior Center resale shop help me yesterday and she brought out her calculator when I gave her a $10 (the purchase was for $8.15) and I kept my mouth shut because I believe in using your resources and on the job training.

Good luck, and keep up the good work!

I used to do what trach says and "count up" from the amount as I
am impossible at math as well.

I pulled it out of the register counting it to myself, and then I would
count it up again into the customer's hand to double-check.
Leaving the money on the counter or on top of the register like Della
suggests is a great idea too--

I started doing that when I had several short amounts so you aren't alone.

I have some learning disabilities. I'm ADD and dyslexic. Both of these played into my alcoholism because I couldn't do things others could so I thought I was dumb.

God blesses each of us in our own ways. Assess what you are good at and look for a job that plays to your strengths instead of trying to put a square peg into a round whole.

You may want to investigate if people with math problems are prone to specific learning disabilities. Knowing you have a problem is half the battle because you can develop coping skills

At least you don't have problems working the calculator lol
I always press the wrong number, then instead of changing that number end up clearing the whole thing and having to start over :(



Try to have a great day!