zjw

i was extremely angry in early sobriety. Your story reminds me how bad those days where. I spent almost all day every day with clenched fists paceing around gritted teeth angry. why? BECAUSE IT WAS ALWAYS SOMETHING@!@(!(*! ALWAYS and if it wasnt something you where just waiting for the next something. But in between all that i'd have teeny glimpses of ok days or good times and i do mean teeny glimpses.

Things have milded out things dont get to me as bad tho they still will get to me at times and I think the somethings are fewer and further between although I do still catch myself worried about the rug being yanked out from underneath me now and then.

It'll ease up. That totaly stinks that it had to come out of your pocket. I've worked a register a zillion times over the years and i've never had to have it come out of my pocket when i came up short But I hear stories like yours these days its like they are stricter about it when the reality is no ones perfect accidents happen and they need to allot for these sorts of things in there budgeting. My opinion is it shouldnt come out of the employees pocket unless its a perpetual issue and if thats the case put the employee in a different role.

that stings tho.

Quirky

Don't be so hard on yourself; no one is perfect.
Be nice to yourself...be your own little cheering section...

Pipping

(((((Hugs))))) I can't do maths either. Sorry you had a crap day xxx

Persys

I worked at a bank for a long time and wanted to chime in to let you know that people's tills don't balance a lot of times. It's just part of handling cash and although we strive for perfection we have to live in reality.

I never expected people to be perfect and as long as they didn't steal the $$ I would never ask them to take it out of their own pocket. I am the same way as you- when you can't get it perfect it really hits hard because you feel like you failed.

Don't beat yourself up about it. I may also suggest that you stop taking money out of your own pocket to balance a till. You worked for that $$.

CupofJoe

Aw, Sleepie. Huge hug.

Please use a calculator if you need to and don't apologize for it. I've always struggled with basic math facts and if I'm stressed out, still count on my fingers because the facts just leave my head. I've worked cash registers and had to take a few minutes to give back change and if anyone gave me a hard time, I'd just think that they're a jerk. (Although I remember what it's like to feel flustered.) I still reverse numbers a lot and get them confused. Nothing to do with my intelligence, I just have some odd wiring when it comes to numbers. No big deal. I have many other strengths.

So when I do have to use numbers at work, I use a calculator and take my time. There's no shame in using whatever tools you need.

Please don't be so hard on yourself. You come across as a lovely woman and you deserve as much compassion yourself as you give other people.

Glad you didn't drink over the frustration.

PS I've worked with people who have an actual diagnosis of mental retardation and they have all been without exception beautiful, kind people who are as deserving as compassion, love, and respect as any genius on this planet.

jessie65

I use a calculator all the time, nothing stupid about that. It's better to be accurate I say, and sometimes if I'm using it for simple stuff I just say 'sorry, it's one of those days and my brain's on break'
hehe
Nobody cares Stop being so hard on yourself!!
Sorry it cost you though, that stinks.

53500

Sleepie, I am a CPA and I can't do math in my head. Not reliably, anyway. Use a calculator, sweetie, and do *not* think lesser of yourself for using it.

Many years ago I worked for a loan company and handled a cash drawer. I worked there almost two years and liked everyone there. On my very last day the cash was $20 short. This was in the 70s so $20 was a lot more than it sounds like. I felt awful. It sure did look like I stole it, being my last day and all, but I didn't. I just screwed up. It happens.

Sorry it cost you.

sleepie

Thank you everyone. I will take the suggestions and count up.
I am a tired sweaty mess and don't have time to even shower... I slept in and feel like I need more rest and for everything in life to just leave me alone for awhile.
I am off and running though to the benzo dr still tapering, I have to do a 2 hour group support meeting. 2 hours seems a bit much, I really do not have 2 hours in me, then I have to go straight to work.
sigh I am so tired.

Angie247

Sleepie, I'm so sorry that happened. I cannot do math in my head at all. I always have to use the calculator on my phone. Don't beat yourself up because things happen. You're doing great. You're an awesome person. Hope the rest of your Saturday goes better. ((hugs))

readerbaby71

In most states it is illegal to ask you to make up the money if you come up short. Maybe it's time to look for another job that doesn't involve money? I know that is very stressful for some people.

I hope you feel better soon. xo

feeling-good

Hey - Sleepie - my profession is all about arithmetic and numbers and my mental ability used to be very good, but to be honest I now use a calculator almost constantly, even for 'easy' additions and I just treat it as a tool of my trade!! It is not worth losing half a day's pay for, honey. And it most definitely is not worth drinking over.

Shining~Again

Not only are you making under minimum wage if I remember right, but you had to pay what equaled a half day's wage?!?!
This all seems so wrong. How is this legal?
I'm feeling really bad for you Sleepie - this job you have is just about the worst one I've read about in ages.
Hoping today is a better day for you!

TrixMixer

Well that sure would have helped me when I took my first job in a Jewelry store at 17. It took me the longest time to figure out how to count it back to the customer--I just handed them back their change and they looked at me like--yea cute but dumb as doorknob.

Funny after graduating from college I became a buyer for a major department store and ended up winning awards for profitability----and it was all about the math. My first boss at the jewelry store could not believe it=------so there, SLEEPI, things have a way of working out.

This was so nice of you, trachemy, to take the time to care and help!

TrixMixer

TrixMixer

When we first try and get sober our nerves are totally exposed. Every little thing becomes a big thing. That is a normal way to feel in early sobriety. What is NOT beneficial to you in anyway during this time is to constantly belittle yourself. The more you do this the more you will believe this and so will others---Stop IT Now!

Do you think you are the only one who has felt like an idiot , worthless, stupid, ashamed---God it goes with the territory. Get past it we all had to, because I dare say we all felt exactly like you did. It is the Alcohol telling you you are worthless and therefore need the drink to make you feel better about yourself. That is why we all keep sliding back into drinking--Alcohol depends on our feelings of inadequacy --that is why you can not let it win. Just ignore your feelings about yourself worth right now--you are not thinking straight. Make the mistake than move on---believe me people are all in their own little world and rarely are wroth the trouble. You owe no one anything, except you ....and that is self respect......but I'm a pink and purple stripped cat, so what do know, eh?

Keep the faith , girlfriend you can do this
The Cat

Soberpotamus

I'd seriously consider using a calculator, Sleepie, if I were you. If I were the customer, I'd rather the employee go for accuracy and use a calculator rather than rely on counting up in her head and making change. I worked a register quite a few years back and had trouble counting. Something about the fact it's someone else's money... and that someone is standing directly in front of me! It always made me nervous. Please, consider using a calculator

sleepie

Ok. I see what you are saying.
however, I have a learning disorder. It won't go away. No matter how hard I try to "get past it".

sleepie

Believe me, there is nothing, nothing NOTHING I would like better than to get past a disorder that will affect my income, quality of life, relationships and self esteem for the rest of my living days.

RobbyRobot

True enough sleepie.

You can though create new opportunities to adapt to those same limitations and become successful even with what is a true learning disorder on your daily plate of challenges.

There are ways forward which will bring success. Seriously.

sleepie

I don't know how Robby.
You are very brilliant.
My boyfriend is also very intelligent.
I see things other people engage in, normal life stuff and realize how much I have been excluded from and it makes me so sad.

SoberRunner

You are not ********! Like a lot of posters have said, it's hard to do math in your head and/or most people cannot do math in their head.

I'm not sure if this will help but try not to think about/figure out how much you have to give them in change THEN pull it from your drawer... Try counting WHILE you're grabbing the money from the drawer.

****Get to a number (in change) that ends in 5 or 0 then get to quarters as soon as you can. Once you get to bills it's smooth sailing until you get to how much they paid you.

Example:
Cost: 25.06
Paid: 30.00
Start grabbing pennies: +1, +1, +1, +1 = 25.10
Grab nickels: +5 = 25.15
Grab dimes: +10 = 25.25
Grab quarters: +25, +25, +25 = 26.00
Grab bills: +1, +1, +1, +1 = 30.00

Hang in there, you can do it!