Goldenwine

My plan, according to the psychiatrist, is to taper down for a few days and fix a date to quit (Sunday 14 June). I had a bottle of wine or more for years, daily.

Sticking to the plan, I had three glasses of wine with my dinner yesterday. I was supposed to have 2 glasses of wine tonight with a sleeping pill and 1 glass tomorrow, the last one. I will start anxiety pills on Sunday, Day 1 on my road to be sober.

But I already failed, I had three glasses of wine tonight. I really hate myself now. Really not easy, and I feel weak. Repeating myself here, sorry, I am a member of this Forum for only three days and I posted three times already. I will try to sleep very early avoiding to take more wine. Thanks for listening.

ScottFromWI

Hi golden. Tapering is a very difficult thing to do...perhaps you could talk with your doctor again and make a plan to just quit?

Goldenwine

I know. My "quit day" is on Sunday. I just wanted to avoid to drink too much the days before, so I made a deal with my doctor. And I failed.

suki44883

Not all therapists or psychiatrists truly understand addiction. I was never able to taper, or moderate, for very long. Most alcoholic can't do that. I had to stop...just STOP altogether. I had to check myself into a medical detox facility because I was unable to quit on my own.

silentrun

I couldn't do that either. Once I get going it's on. Are you tapering out of a physical need or is it mental?

fini

i wouldn't be able to, golden.

don't waste your time hating yourself; spend it figuring out a better way to go for yourself with your doc if need be.

drinking more than you intended to just shows once again the nature of the problem, really. is IN the nature of the problem.

and three posts in three days?

that's...uh....nothing much, postwise

Goldenwine

Thanks all, just took my fourth glass of wine and the bottle is empty now. I will NOT get at the store to get another one for tomorrow. Tomorrow, I will see the psy again, I will get my prescription for anxiety pills and I will take them. No more alcohol in this house. Again, tonight, I realized that I can't control myself, so no more tempering. It's time to get serious, I know that I will suffer a lot but my relationship with red wine is over. It's time for me to get my life and my happiness back. Thanks all for being here for us!

JeffreyAK

I could never successfully taper, if I had had the willpower to do that I would have had the willpower to never get in as deep as I did. I found it was much easier to just quit, and that didn't make it easy, it just made it possible.

Goldenwine

That's now my plan. Thanks

fini

hey golden,
you know, you may not suffer a lot. it's not entirely necessary

some of it might well depend on what you tell yourself about how awful it may be...no doubt the first few days aren't pleasant, but you just might be okay without too much suffering.

good to hear you'
l be checking in again with the doc and your mind is made up.

Goldenwine

Thanks a lot! I am ready for the worse scenario but of course hoping for the best

Venecia

Hi, Golden,

There's no doubt about it -- the early days are really hard.

But there are a lot of us here to attest to the fact that they are survivable. It sounds like you've made a wise choice in arranging to see your psych tomorrow. My recommendation is that you make some plans to distract yourself -- I think you'll find that the cravings do disappear when you're able to focus on something else.

Just hang in there. That's the important thing.

And no booze in the house. And hang out on SR as much as you want. When I first joined, I was pretty much camped out here.

Take care, Golden. You can do this.

Goldenwine

Thanks a lot. I was on this forum most of the day today. I took a week off from my work for next week. My bosses and colleagues are not aware of my addiction and I want to avoid showing the physical effects of withdrawal to them next week. Hopefully, it will be easier (physically) when I will return in a week. I really need you and appreciate each comment. Thanks.

davaidavai

That sounds like the advice of someone who doesn't understand problem drinking.

Verte

Hi Goldenwine, nice to meet you.

I'm not sure if you have already written your plan out on the forum. If not, what is your plan for this upcoming week off of work? Staying logged into SR throughout the day and until I fell asleep helped me quite a bit. Write a lot, read a lot and definitely ask for support when you need it.

zjw

i tapered each night a little less after a few days i new the inevitable was coming and i figured why fight it whats the use if i cant drink to get drunk i dont want to drink at all. so i ended my taper plan early

least

The anxiety meds should help your withdrawal. I never could taper down. I always ended up drinking more. I wish you success in quitting. It takes some effort and being uncomfortable for a few days, but it's worth it.

Goldenwine

Thanks, I have mix feelings right now. Happy with my decision but at the same time, I feel anxious and totally exhausted, no energy at all. I need that change of lifestyle

fini

one thing: keep hydrated.

FLCamper

I'm surprised a Dr. would tell you it is OK to have two glasses of wine and a sleeping pill. If you have anti anxiety meds, those should help tremendously.
Sounds like you've thought this through. You'll feel so good Monday morning!