How do you know you're an alcoholic? And how do you stop?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 5
How do you know you're an alcoholic? And how do you stop?
Hello all -
Been reading the forums for a couple months now and decided to post
A little of me:
I was never a drinker. I smoked pot all through high school and college - hated the feeling that alcohol gave me.
I grew up in a bar - my father opened it when I was 8 and now I own it since he passed four years ago. I own the bar now with my sister and I also work full time.
Anyway, I never really drank until my pops passed.
Before that, I was a very social/moderate drinker. I drank maybe 3-5 times a year, and only a couple drinks when I did.
Now I crave it. It had come to a point about 3 years ago that I started drinking all day every day. Before work. During lunch. Then all night after work. I had to get my wine or vodka in. I had to be buzzed ALL THE TIME.
I've been trying to moderate the past couple of months. Some weeks I go all week without a drink. Some weeks I go 3-4 days without a drink. When I do drink, I limit myself to just one 750ml bottle, rather than a 1.5 L bottle.
I love it. I love wine, I love being buzzed or drunk.
But I've embarrassed myself at work events twice now by getting too drunk. I'm pretty much at the "last straw" when it comes to work drinking.
When did you realize you were an alcoholic? How do you know? How did you stop??
Been reading the forums for a couple months now and decided to post
A little of me:
I was never a drinker. I smoked pot all through high school and college - hated the feeling that alcohol gave me.
I grew up in a bar - my father opened it when I was 8 and now I own it since he passed four years ago. I own the bar now with my sister and I also work full time.
Anyway, I never really drank until my pops passed.
Before that, I was a very social/moderate drinker. I drank maybe 3-5 times a year, and only a couple drinks when I did.
Now I crave it. It had come to a point about 3 years ago that I started drinking all day every day. Before work. During lunch. Then all night after work. I had to get my wine or vodka in. I had to be buzzed ALL THE TIME.
I've been trying to moderate the past couple of months. Some weeks I go all week without a drink. Some weeks I go 3-4 days without a drink. When I do drink, I limit myself to just one 750ml bottle, rather than a 1.5 L bottle.
I love it. I love wine, I love being buzzed or drunk.
But I've embarrassed myself at work events twice now by getting too drunk. I'm pretty much at the "last straw" when it comes to work drinking.
When did you realize you were an alcoholic? How do you know? How did you stop??
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Well, the label of alcoholic isn't really the important thing, but if drinking is causing you concern why not stop for six months and see how you feel?
If you aren't dependent, that should be pretty easy! It sounds like you are definitely drinking a lot and it is creating problems for you. That's the important thing.
Welcome to the site
If you aren't dependent, that should be pretty easy! It sounds like you are definitely drinking a lot and it is creating problems for you. That's the important thing.
Welcome to the site
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 5
Originally Posted by biminiblue 
Well, the "name" of alcoholic isn't really the important thing, but if drinking is causing you concern, why not stop for six months and see how you feel?
If you aren't dependent, that should be pretty easy! It sounds like you are definitely drinking a lot.
Welcome to the site
If you aren't dependent, that should be pretty easy! It sounds like you are definitely drinking a lot.
Welcome to the site
I try for the "goals". My first was a "30 day" goal, which I ruined after 8 days.
I feel so good when I count the days, and then always end up back at day 1.
I know, at least from the past few times, I'm not in the physical addiction phases of alcoholism. I can go all day and not physically feel it. It's the whole mental/emotional connection I have with it.
I just wish there was a magic off switch and I could go back to what I used to be. I'd rather smoke weed all day (I was super productive and happy as a pothead), than be what I am right now.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi thegem
I think if you're craving it, you find it hard to stop once you start, you're embarrassing yourself and you prefer drinking alone...you have a problem.
This place was a great help in my stopping.
There's so much support, encouragement and good ideas here
I think it's a good idea to see a Dr if you've been drinking for a while - just to ensure your safe when you stop...but it all starts with a day one, really.
This link may help you devise a plan to stay sober for longer than a few days
https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf
On the weed, my personal advice is don't do it. Getting high leads to bad decisions.
D
I think if you're craving it, you find it hard to stop once you start, you're embarrassing yourself and you prefer drinking alone...you have a problem.
This place was a great help in my stopping.
There's so much support, encouragement and good ideas here
I think it's a good idea to see a Dr if you've been drinking for a while - just to ensure your safe when you stop...but it all starts with a day one, really.
This link may help you devise a plan to stay sober for longer than a few days
https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf
On the weed, my personal advice is don't do it. Getting high leads to bad decisions.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 5
Originally Posted by Dee74
Hi thegem
I think if you're craving it, you find it hard to stop once you start, you're embarrassing yourself and you prefer drinking alone...you have a problem.
This place was a great help in my stopping.
There's so much support, encouragement and good ideas here
I think it's a good idea to see a Dr if you've been drinking for a while - just to ensure your safe when you stop...but it all starts with a day one, really.
This link may help you devise a plan to stay sober for longer than a few days
On the weed, my personal advice is don't do it. Getting high leads to bad decisions.
D
I think if you're craving it, you find it hard to stop once you start, you're embarrassing yourself and you prefer drinking alone...you have a problem.
This place was a great help in my stopping.
There's so much support, encouragement and good ideas here
I think it's a good idea to see a Dr if you've been drinking for a while - just to ensure your safe when you stop...but it all starts with a day one, really.
This link may help you devise a plan to stay sober for longer than a few days
On the weed, my personal advice is don't do it. Getting high leads to bad decisions.
D
That's exactly what I am. I crave it. I embarrass myself. I come home to a one bedroom apartment and drink by myself after work.
To others, I am super successful, powerful, all that BS. But to me...I need some wine to be happy. I hate the life I come home to, and maybe that's it.
I had a black out at a work event, and it was the most embarrassing experience of my life. I was in London and...it just got WAY out of control. I'm so embarrassed to share this, but feel I should - I ended up naked from the waist down - AT A WORK EVENT. I don't remember anything...but they all do. I know they do. I can NOT believe they didn't can me right then and there.
The pot never led to any guilt or embarrassing situations for me, but I was much younger and I know I can't try to replace one addiction with the next.
As for the doctor - should I? I can go a few days - a week without alcohol and haven't have any withdrawal symptoms other than me just emotionally craving it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I think rather than set 30 day or even six month goals, think about how much better your life would be without it.
And to quit - what we did - we didn't drink one day at a time and then strung together a whole bunch of those.
It's a decision that you will have to make sooner or later, or you are heading down that road of even worse consequences. We've been there, and I hope you learn from the experiences here. The blackout should be really concerning.
And to quit - what we did - we didn't drink one day at a time and then strung together a whole bunch of those.
It's a decision that you will have to make sooner or later, or you are heading down that road of even worse consequences. We've been there, and I hope you learn from the experiences here. The blackout should be really concerning.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Merewether, Australia
Posts: 4
Hi thegem85,
It's a distraction getting too attached to a label or diagnosis - when you're drowning in the ocean you don't pause to ponder whether you should do breaststroke or freestyle - you just swim.
It's a funny thing like that - I spent months and then years scheming up perfectly believable reasons for me to keep drinking - that it was "not that bad" and that I could stop if "I really had to"
In the meantime life just got uglier and emptier and there were less and less people around and it just led to me sitting at home, looking out the window with a bottle of wine by 9am.
All I can say if screw labels and words and all that nonsense - it's a doing thing this sobriety. And you can DO it.
Bren
It's a distraction getting too attached to a label or diagnosis - when you're drowning in the ocean you don't pause to ponder whether you should do breaststroke or freestyle - you just swim.
It's a funny thing like that - I spent months and then years scheming up perfectly believable reasons for me to keep drinking - that it was "not that bad" and that I could stop if "I really had to"
In the meantime life just got uglier and emptier and there were less and less people around and it just led to me sitting at home, looking out the window with a bottle of wine by 9am.
All I can say if screw labels and words and all that nonsense - it's a doing thing this sobriety. And you can DO it.
Bren
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 5
Originally Posted by biminiblue
I think rather than set 30 day or even six month goals, think about how much better your life would be without it.
And to quit - what we did - we didn't drink one day at a time and then strung together a whole bunch of those.
It's a decision that you will have to make sooner or later, or you are heading down that road of even worse consequences. We've been there, and I hope you learn from the experiences here. The blackout should be really concerning.
And to quit - what we did - we didn't drink one day at a time and then strung together a whole bunch of those.
It's a decision that you will have to make sooner or later, or you are heading down that road of even worse consequences. We've been there, and I hope you learn from the experiences here. The blackout should be really concerning.
And yes, the blackout was my moment where I had to stop and wonder WTF was going on with myself. I'm so happy, a year and a half later, i haven't been canned because of it - but it hovers over me. Every work situation I've been in has been clouded with a "watch her, she will drink too much" atmosphere. Which I understand and appreciate to an extent.
This whole time, I've understood that I need to take it one day at a time. And I'd proudly think "day 1" "day 2" etc, when I've been able to abstain. The whole time thinking - what the hell have I become? I always hated alcohol!! How did I get here?!
The furthest I've gotten was the "day 8" and then my sister, who has been an alcoholic for about 15 years now, convinced me "eff it" on Easter Sunday.
But it's more than myself. I can not hold anyone else but myself accountable for my own decisions and actions.
Eff alcohol. I'm so much better without it
Tomorrow I will start with yet another "Day 1". I pray it will be my last Day 1.
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,360
I broke my off switch. That little part of your brain that tells you when you have had enough was gone. I would buy pints so I couldn't drink any more than that for the night. Then I realized I didn't have any desire left to try and contain my drinking. All I wanted to do was start drinking whisky cokes and never sober up. I wasn't prepared to go there. With no ability and no desire there was nothing left to stop me from destroying myself and my family. That frightened me so badly that I quit right on the spot.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
In the fellowship it used to be said that if you think you have a problem with alcohol your probably correct.
Alcohol is powerful, cunning, baffling and insidious and will take, take, take unless we stop playing games by stopping drinking, period.
I could fill my head with so much BS I believed it. Isolation and dishonesty about my drinking and not accepting I could not drink in safety were my path towards misery and loss of my values which led to more drinking.
It’s work involving changes that result in sobriety. That’s the goal which requires action and refocusing our goals.
BE WELL
In the fellowship it used to be said that if you think you have a problem with alcohol your probably correct.
Alcohol is powerful, cunning, baffling and insidious and will take, take, take unless we stop playing games by stopping drinking, period.
I could fill my head with so much BS I believed it. Isolation and dishonesty about my drinking and not accepting I could not drink in safety were my path towards misery and loss of my values which led to more drinking.
It’s work involving changes that result in sobriety. That’s the goal which requires action and refocusing our goals.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 147
Just stop for today
Hi,
I wouldn't try to set long term goals. 30 days, 60 days. Just work one day, maybe one hour at a time. Eventually, you string them together. Just have a plan for one day. Try to set a schedule. This is what helped me.
I wouldn't try to set long term goals. 30 days, 60 days. Just work one day, maybe one hour at a time. Eventually, you string them together. Just have a plan for one day. Try to set a schedule. This is what helped me.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
24 yrs ago I had no idea I was an alcoholic.
I figured I drank like my grandfather cause
he could drink anyone under the table and
I never saw him drunk or with a hangover.
It took my family to do an intervention
calling the authorities to pick me up with
a court order and take me to a hospital
for a mental evaluation. And they did and
I wasn't diagnosed as crazy but did have
a drinking problem or in other words, an
addiction to alcohol.
I remained in rehab for 28days accepting
my illness and received a useful, effective
recovery program consisting of steps and
principles to incorporate in my everyday
life.
I admitted and accepted my addiction
and came to believe that a program of
recovery could and would help me remain
sober for a many one days at a time to
get me where I am today.
Healthy, Happy and Honest.
I figured I drank like my grandfather cause
he could drink anyone under the table and
I never saw him drunk or with a hangover.
It took my family to do an intervention
calling the authorities to pick me up with
a court order and take me to a hospital
for a mental evaluation. And they did and
I wasn't diagnosed as crazy but did have
a drinking problem or in other words, an
addiction to alcohol.
I remained in rehab for 28days accepting
my illness and received a useful, effective
recovery program consisting of steps and
principles to incorporate in my everyday
life.
I admitted and accepted my addiction
and came to believe that a program of
recovery could and would help me remain
sober for a many one days at a time to
get me where I am today.
Healthy, Happy and Honest.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Hi thegem85, I think most people on this site will tell you that it will only get worse, never better. And I also agree that labels are just that....labels. If you think you have an issue, you're probably right. I would hope you agree that drinking before and during work is a pretty big red flag, though many do it. Just read here for awhile. I think you are on the right track, you at least are wondering if you have a problem with alcohol. Just think if you did all these things and thought it was perfectly normal. that would be an even bigger problem. I wish you the best, take the advice of all the smart people here that have been through it all. They will help you every step of the way.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
I knew I was an alcoholic when I was waking up hating myself and drinking in the morning to stop the shakes. 
I finally got sober for good and now my life is much better. Take it one day at a time. Just stay sober today. Tomorrow, do the same thing. It will get better.
I finally got sober for good and now my life is much better. Take it one day at a time. Just stay sober today. Tomorrow, do the same thing. It will get better.
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