Zaec

For those who drank at a specific time of the day/night... how do you keep busy at that specific hour/three???

For me, drinking went hand in hand with watching really depressing Youtube videos. You know, like child abuse stories, people dying stories, etc.. such a sad existence. Don't ask why... I was just a depressing human.

I still watch videos now but 'happier' ones. Anyway, that's besides the point.

I feel like I need to break the normal routine where drinking was involved. I brought our elliptical trainer aka washing line aka dust collector into the living room. I jumped on there two nights ago for 15 minutes and yep... I was a breathless wreck!

Would love to spend THAT hour on the elliptical but find myself in front of the computer watching videos and craving a glass of whatever was there.

How do you grow out of those associating habits created by your addiction?

doggonecarl

You stick with it. Stick with your recovery, stick with whatever "activities" you have chosen besides drinking. Get back on that elliptical and shoot for 16 minutes.

There are hundreds of things you can do. Do we really have to list them for you?

Dee74

I spent a lot of time on SR

I drank and drugged for 30 years - but I changed...I really believe you can too Zeekie.

It will take a little time and patience but you'll get there

D

ScottFromWI

Make a plan - write it down if you have to. Put together a schedule on a piece of paper and tape it on your fridge or carry it around in your pocket. Make plans ahead of time to do something else during those particular times and hold yourself responsible for doing it. Set a reminder on your phone. There's a lot of different ways to go about it, but they all involve having a plan. Idle time is one of your worst enemies, especially in early sobriety.

Hawkeye13

I went to the gym.
But a run / walk / yoga DVD would work also.

Sometimes you just need to work it off

JeffreyAK

My big drinking time was after getting home from work, and early evening remained the big trigger time after I quit, including driving home (which was the time I did most of my alcohol buying). What I did was change up my schedule - work later so I didn't leave at my usual old time, take different routes home, eat dinner after I got home (I used to skip this part most days, go straight to drinking instead), watch television instead of turning on the computer, spend time building models in the garage. Just changing up the pattern, so it didn't feel like I was doing the same things in the same places at the same times, but minus the drinking.

zjw

i started reading and drinking a lot of tea initialy. I also paced and climbed the walls at times as well.

but now I dont really associate any time slot with "drinking time" now I just go about my business and its not a second thought.

thisisme

"How do you grow out of those associating habits created by your addiction? "

You may need to force it for a bit but the effects are incredible. In a nutshell you do something everyday for 30 days and it BECOMES a habit.
I can tell you this works. I find myself halfway through my new habits before I even realise I'm doing them.
Walking, sit-ups etc...
Here's a great read;

The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business
by Charles Duhigg

least

I used to walk my dogs when I wanted to drink. They got lots of walks and I stayed sober.

skg

They told me to work my recovery like I worked my drinking, and I was either drinking or thinking 24/7. They said I only had to change one thing: Everything I was.

I started by walking long stretches of highway, picking up trash, breathing, spending time out of my head. It was also being of service to others without getting caught.... I then added AA meetings--midday for me because I wanted to break up the day (if I went sideways before midday I knew I could get a meeting). I made sure I had a safety-net in the form of another forum (ARG) and still use it to help others today. I then changed my "grocery" destinations and took different ways to work to mix it up. I stopped watching television news, stupid mind-numbing internet stuff, etc., and began spending time outside. I then added a sponsor to do the steps--kept me busy for 14 weeks--and I learned about the spiritual awakening. I then talked to all my doctors and fired them all--got one single new GP. Got off the ADs, and mood stabilizers, and began running until I cracked both hips).

The point is this: Alcoholics an Addicts spend a whole lot of time in their own minds examining their own insanity. Watching my feet as I point them towards actions designed to help me grow in sobriety calm that mental committee of voices that are my thoughts.

DO something. Entertaining the magic magnifying mind will kill alcoholics...

IfYouCanDream

The simplest answer that comes to my mind is: read and post on SR.
That's what I did the first few months and it totally got me through. I also learnt a thing or two in the process ;-)

zjw

aaaaa yes walks too. I walked a lot still do. I'm sure my neighbors wondered wtf is wrong with that guy. I shoulda yelled dont mind me I'm just an alcoholic trying to stay sober I'm friggen nuts its ok you can all go back inside now quit stareing haha. but I just kept walking.

the good part about the walks is not only did they help me not drink they helped me clear my mind enjoy nature smell the roses breathe the fresh air soak up the sunshine and loose over 100lbs.

A lot can be gained and lost from a walk.

biminiblue

I'll agree with AA meetings and walks as my best distractions - and exercise takes the edge off anxiety, too.

As an alcoholic I associated everything with drinking. Every thought, emotion, memory, resentment, days that end in Y.

It's difficult at first. I went to 120 AA meetings in my first four months. I'm not working so it got me up, dressed and out of the house every day. I had been on another forum when I was drinking so being here was a lot like those wasted hours, but I switched my drink to seltzer and lime. It worked. It's just making the decision that I won't drink, no matter what. That is my #1 Priority.

There is plenty to do. Everything has to change.

greens

Having a place to be can help. Volunteering or going to the gym or joining a group activity

thomas11

Hi Zeekie, I think you bring up a GREAT question. For me personally breaking a routine is as hard as the actual not drinking. You can set your watch by what I will be doing throughout the course of the day. I am a very structured person. It makes me feel normal. When I stopped the daily drinking to just drinking on weekends, the first 2 weeks were hard not only because I wanted to have a drink, but because I didn't know what the heck to do with those couple hours of time. Drove me crazy. I started by reading or finding a show I liked on TV (I don't watch much TV). But now that I have gotten completely comfortable with not drinking during the week, I view it as my free time. I can do whatever I want.

MIRecovery

Aa

Zaec

Thank you everyone for your responses. I really value it. Being in a small rural town in South Africa, there really is no AA or something of the sorts here. There is church however and I am planning to at least commit to going every Sunday, to keep myself sane.

Also, I am sitting here with very sore muscles as I have started exercising. I have however fallen back into drinking a few times because I do not have a plan. My husband left again this morning on a business trip and that is usually when I lose it... but I am positive that I will make it through the next two weeks.

Everyone on here is so kind. It is almost hard to accept by me... or is it just that not drinking makes the world look like a better place.

Anyway, I have been spending a lot of time outdoors. I played tennis on Saturday!!!!!!! Who am I even???? Oh well, for me it is one day at a time for sure.

Once again thank you for all the responses.

doggonecarl

Well SR is here for you. Read and post regularly, especially when you struggle.

ScottFromWI

If you want to try AA there are online meetings available at multiple times of the day at various sites. As mentioned there is also always someone online on SR and a live chat room as well. The big book is onllne and free too, and definitely a good read even if you don't do AA. Add to that AVRT and other self help methods and that should be plenty to keep you busy while your husband is away. Why not make a plan for what you will do while he is gone...write it down. Idle time is not your friend, especially in early sobriety. Get rid of any alcohol you have in the house too....less temptation.

RogerD

Try making a long list. This way you can pick something you want to do. I would list 10 or 15 things. Even cleaning a few windows. Cleaning the tub. I may not choose to do those things but if I did i can think and say, hey, I did something productive rather than drink. You can do it.