Soberintexas007

I chose to drink last night and smoke pot so I really don't remember my posts here on SR. I chose not to go to an AA meeting last night and instead chose to watch the NBA finals. I'm not too upset about my slip since I chose that action and know why I slipped. I had 9 Michelob ultra light beers. I guess the only good news is that I didn't gain any weight since I barely ate yesterday, but that probably played a role in the slip as well. So I will just start over today. I am going to exercise, finish the rest of my practice exam, and then go to an AA meeting.

doggonecarl

The consequences of fate...

RobbyRobot

Nothing changes if nothing changes. It may be worthwhile to look a little more at yourself with a view that if drinking is to remain a no choice some new changes in lifestyle and behavior might prove to be helpful.

Soberintexas007

Exactly. It was already predetermined, so maybe that is why I have no remorse today.

Soberintexas007

I have to WANT to stay sober, and I would like to for many reasons. I will say this. I enjoyed the buzz last night from the beer and pot. But then I had to have restless sleep for about 8 hours or for however long. I feel better now FINALLY! It is what it is. It's almost like even though I gave up gambling, I am now gambling with my life. It's probably just a matter of time before I BUST!!!��

Soberintexas007

But I will say this. You guys still can't disprove my theory on fate. Maybe fate will take me to be sober.

ScottFromWI

No one is here to prove or disprove anything to you. If you believe everything is fate, that's fine..it's your prerogative. Some will suggest other possibilties, but at the end of the day it's really a decision you have to make for yourself.

doggonecarl

I was being sarcastic. I don't know why you have such a cavalier attitude to your struggles to remain sober, but it appears to be detrimental to your recovery.

But only if that's your goal.

Anna

Fate is not going to make you sober.

You will need to do that for yourself. Are you ready?

EndGameNYC

You've already done that. You "chose" to drink.

Soberintexas007

I thought I was ready. I don't want to set myself up to fail by answering a question like that. We all have been ready in the past, no one knows which "ready" will work.

Soberintexas007

Unless it was already predetermined that I was going to make that choice.

Soberintexas007

I'm upset you guys that I slipped. I really did not want to. I should have gone to a meeting. But the craving was so strong...I could not stop it, sorry.

ArtFriend

I am sorry but this is not helpful. If when you drink or use if you always think that "the gods" are making you do this, then you have a perfect way to justify your addiction. I would say most people here who are successful handling their addiction put a lot of blood sweat and tears into actionable steps. I don't think they relied on fate to take over. You must take personal responsibility or else you are toast. (sorry to be so blunt)

Surrender2win

I'm glad to hear you are starting over. I hope you stick with it. Those damn Michelob Ultra's... that was one of my favorites as well. Good luck on your journey.

SparkleKitty

If it's all fate, why come to a support forum? If "what will be, will be" then why worry about it?

This is a game you can play with yourself for the rest of your life, a circular argument to justify everything you ever do. But you are only playing this game with yourself.

Soberintexas007

If my parents found out, they would be so disappointed. My husband called me today to tell me that he is proud of all the hard work I have been doing with studying, and that he realizes he should tell me this more. Great, so you tell me this after I slip? Oh well. I have almost 15 hours of sobriety today, so really that is the same as someone with 25 years.

Soberintexas007

Unless it is fate that takes me to this forum, right?

Soberintexas007

I am SO procrastinating right now from working out with this discussion on fate. Gotta go guys, fate is dragging me to the eliptical,

least

Nine beers sounds more like a binge than a slip.