Jojobinks

I've been with my partner a year - we live together as if we are man and wife. When we met he drunk but not to excess. Now, it's horrific. He works hard and away from home from Monday morning until Saturday morning but the time he is at home, he's permanently drunk. He's verbally cruel but has never laid a hand on me. He spent 22 years in the army and I've come to the conclusion that he has PTSD. He thinks the same but refuses to get help. It's now at the stage where he doesn't think he should have to contribute to the household bills but still expects his steak and beer in the fridge when he gets home. I'm at my wits end. This week has been the worst yet. We have just moved - I've given up everything including my job on the promise that he would cover the bills for a couple of weeks. Monday, I go to get money out of his account and he blows a gasket - went absolutely mad. Ranting and swearing down the phone at me. So now I'm in a strange place and broke. He has all the money in his account. He's not ringing me and not answering emails. I can't live like this one yet have no where to go and no money to go anywhere with! He's due home Saturday morning and I know it will all start again. I love this man with the very bones of my body. When it's good it's very good. Our sex life is non existent as he can't get an erection due to the alcohol. What can I do? Walk away and risk never seeing him again? Put up and shut up? It's breaking my heart that he blames everything and anything on me - when it's me that has to get him to bed and hold him when he's drunk and upset. I have no family - just him. And I'm at the end of the road now.

ScottFromWI

Welcome to SR jojobinks, and thanks for sharing. Letting it out and writing it down can be very helpful. One of the hardest facts to accept about addiction is that you really have no control over another person in respect to it. Nothing you can do or say will generally help until he decides that he needs help and wants to get better.

At some point you need to decide to help yourself too..not every relationship survives addiction unfortunately. We have a subforum here specifically for friends and family members of addicts that you may want to check out. In the meantime, there honestly doesn't sound like anything in the relationship that is worth hanging around for..verbal abuse is a very serious issue too. I hope you can find help here and locally perhaps ( Al-anon would be a good place to check too ).

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Jojobinks

Thank you. Sadly at the moment all that I have is materialistic. The house we have just rented and my animals. We are tied into the rental agreement for 6 months here. He will sometimes admit that he knows he has a problem but that's as far as it goes. I've told myself that this weekend when he comes home will be make or break. It will have to be him that leaves the house as he has left me broke. I keep hoping that he will ring but the longer it goes on the more I realise that he won't. He is an amazing man when he is sober - it's just sad that I don't see that side of him very often.