ebo

Well I had 9 months of sobriety and recently relapsed. I have drank and gambled like 4 or 5 times since .

I feel like I'm out of control. I have given everything to drinking and gambling. I'm homeless and hanging on to my job .

I drunk texted people at work asking for money and now I'm to ashamed to go to work and face the music

It feels hopeless. I want to die I'm tired of failure. I have kids to live for but they are growing tired of my crap as well .

Im honestly wondering if I will make or not

Soberintexas007

I also am an alcoholic and compulsive gambler. I have more than 30 days sober from gambling but am still a drunk. I wish you all the best! It is tough!

RobbyRobot

It is tough to fall back to drinking after knowing sobriety is a better way. We all had our reasons to drink, and none of those reasons make any sense unless the drinking continues. I know changing our lifestyles, our thinking, and how we deal with our personal challenges all play an essential role in staying quit and moving forward.

Just want to say don't give up on quitting. Quitting really does give the best opportunities for creating a new life. Quitting is the single best choice to make. Quitting is everything.

So don't give up.
Keep going.

Notimetoloose

9 months is awesome... what about changing things up a bit with your plan to get sober...
...Have you tried meetings, AA, SMART, GA?, Have a look at AVRT of RR.
There is some more information in the secular section of this site.
I am sorry you humiliated yourself while drunk...it sucks but the humiliation will pass if you don't repeat it. No need to do that again!...
It is tough to address our addictions and it takes work....get tough back ...make it your number one focus as if your life depended on it...
You can do this, you had the 9 months and you can do it again.

amp123

It is tough for sure but we all have to face up to the things we've done. 9 months is amazing! Much respect to you for that. What about those people at work? Maybe apologies by phone before you go back? Take that time to speak to each person individually, apologize for a moment of madness and move on.... Good luck!

Dee74

I'm sorry you're so low Ebo - there's been some great suggestions here already - do any of them sound like something you might do?

D

IOAA2

Hi and good job on 9 months.

I found that getting sober and staying sober 2 separate things, both require work. Yep that 5 letter not many alkys like.
I needed to get honest with myself about MY drinking AND ACCEPT the fact I cannot drink in safety one day at a time in a row or things go quickly down the chute.
For me and most in recovery it means filling the void alcohol once filled because alcohol is still beckoning us to use. Part of that is concerned living life as it comes our way, not trying to escape its pains and the lower standards we lived by.

For me it’s being comfortable in my own skin most of the time and that’s been done by doing a lot of things I didn’t want to do like go to a lot of fellowship meetings AND following suggestions by those in recovery.
Ya got to want to.

BE WELL

ScottFromWI

There is always hope Ebo. What were you doing during those 9 months of sobriety? The only thing stopping you from doing that again is you - how can we help?

Johno1967

Hi Ebo, hows it going? It would be good if you could share what went wrong so we can help you and learn at the same time. Don't despair, yes you have relapsed but you can always get back on the beam (not the Jim Beam). You just have to want to, you certainly have good reason to stay sober.