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Family Is Nervous and Freaking Out

Old 06-04-2015, 08:39 PM
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Do you know what my former sponsor (current AA friend) told me last night? He said that even though I don't drink and drive right now, he said that eventually I will, as every active alcoholic eventually engages in that behavior...is this true? Now I am paranoid that I am going to drink and drive even though I have never done it.
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Old 06-04-2015, 08:39 PM
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Hi Soberintexas.....

Forgive me for asking, but how old are you? Why would you care what your parents think? Rehab will be for you, not them.
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Old 06-04-2015, 08:40 PM
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Originally Posted by ScottFromWI View Post
What your parents think doesn't matter. You are and adult and you need to do what is best for you.
True, and maybe this is something that I need to explore in counseling. My resistance to getting help (rehab) may be because I am not getting this support from my parents. They frown upon it.
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Old 06-04-2015, 08:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Soberintexas007 View Post
Any, by the way, I thought that a lot of you did not support me enough in my previous attempt to stay sober. I was doing so well, but so many of you were not responding to my situation, and that was hurtful.
I'm sorry you see it that way.

I think putting the blame back on the community is a classic way of not taking responsibility for your own recovery.

I did it for years, so I'm not judging - but I feel you've had a lot of support in your time here Sober.

Support can only go so far tho.

If you feel you need more support from us, or your parents or your husband or whoever - then really it's up to you to find it - whether it's AA or some other group, or counselling or rehab...

D
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Old 06-04-2015, 08:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Ginamarie323 View Post
Hi Soberintexas.....

Forgive me for asking, but how old are you? Why would you care what your parents think? Rehab will be for you, not them.
I am 35. I know, very sad, given how much dependence I have on my parents. We have a very enmeshed relationship, and I never truly grew up, sad to say.
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Old 06-04-2015, 08:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I'm sorry you see it that way.

I think putting the blame back on the community is a classic way of not taking responsibility for your own recovery.

I did it for years, so I'm not judging - but I feel you've had a lot of support in your time here Sober.

Support can only go so far tho.

If you feel you need more support from us, or your parents or your husband or whoever - then really it's up to you to find it - whether it's AA or some other group, or counselling or rehab...

D
I hear what you are saying. It's just that some of you (not to mention names) were responding to me in the past few weeks. And then I tried again to stay sober on Sunday and Monday of this past week, and I did not hear from a lot of those people. I feel like people gave up on me. But I can understand why they gave up on me, but I am still just pointing it out.

I almost felt as if some people here were just waiting for me to fail because they did not agree with how I was going about my recovery.

"But support can only go so far." I think you are right. Maybe people felt they were enabling me and felt as if I needed other support such as rehab and were tired of enabling me. I get it.
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Old 06-04-2015, 08:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Soberintexas007 View Post
What I was trying to say was that if it is hopeless in me getting sober at this time, I was just wondering if someone can "get by" with having 1.5 bottles of wine each night and sometimes smoking some pot with it? Meaning, could it buy me some time? Can someone still be functional drinking that amount?
The only answer I can give , is that drinking and smoking pot will not get you sober. I believe you know that, I just need to accept it , deep down. No bs , self honesty, then no more trying , just doing.
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Old 06-04-2015, 08:48 PM
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Well, at least my Golden State Warriors are winning!!! BOOM!!! And I am not even gambling on the game!!!
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Old 06-04-2015, 08:49 PM
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Originally Posted by dwtbd View Post
The only answer I can give , is that drinking and smoking pot will not get you sober. I believe you know that, I just need to accept it , deep down. No bs , self honesty, then no more trying , just doing.
Yes, this is true. Whenever I relapse, I try to rationalize it, but it never works, LOL!
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Old 06-04-2015, 08:50 PM
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my point was noone else can get you sober but you.
I think you're focusing on the wrong things here.

D
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Old 06-04-2015, 08:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Soberintexas007 View Post
I hear what you are saying. It's just that some of you (not to mention names) were responding to me in the past few weeks. And then I tried again to stay sober on Sunday and Monday of this past week, and I did not hear from a lot of those people. I feel like people gave up on me. But I can understand why they gave up on me, but I am still just pointing it out.

I almost felt as if some people here were just waiting for me to fail because they did not agree with how I was going about my recovery.
Everyone on SR is a volunteer, including the greeters, mods and admins. People come when they can and help who they can while they are here. You have posted multiple threads and received many replies from many different people, just as all others do. I would suggest that you may need support above and beyond what an online recovery board can provide ( in addition ) based in your last few weeks here.
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Old 06-04-2015, 08:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
my point was noone else can get you sober but you.
I think you're focusing on the wrong things here.

D
Yes, and I guess I need to go to inpatient rehab to figure out what to actually focus on.
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Old 06-04-2015, 08:58 PM
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Scott makes a good point - you often have multiple threads on the go - that can skew your responses.

You also tend to post a lot in the dead of night when fewer members are online.

The fact that this thread already has 34 replies when a lot of our members are in bed is pretty much indicative of the fact that people do respond to you
I guess I need to go to inpatient rehab to figure out what to actually focus on.
I can save you a rehab trip if that's your only question BTW

focus on you and your recovery - everything else can wait...

and remember that you'll get back from your recovery exactly what you put into it, so give it all you have

D
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Old 06-04-2015, 08:59 PM
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Actually the rationalizations are working, they make "feel" like drinking is ok or expected , just fill in the blank for a specific reason.
For right now I think some water and calling it a night seems like a good idea, yeah?
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Old 06-04-2015, 09:02 PM
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Originally Posted by ScottFromWI View Post
Everyone on SR is a volunteer, including the greeters, mods and admins. People come when they can and help who they can while they are here. You have posted multiple threads and received many replies from many different people, just as all others do. I would suggest that you may need support above and beyond what an online recovery board can provide ( in addition ) based in your last few weeks here.
Yes, I know. And thank you for being giving of your time, that is really nice. I think sometimes we forget that most of you are volunteers.
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Old 06-04-2015, 09:12 PM
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Old 06-04-2015, 09:28 PM
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Thank you all for your support tonight, I appreciate it. But I am going to go to bed right now. Have a good night.
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