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I get the alone thing. ya know people can talk to me all they want but at the end of the day i'm friggen alone with my demons. In my case I wanna just go for a walk. Throw in the towell on responsiblities and life etc.. I'd really over think the whole purpose of life and I'd always come to the resolution theres no point. I'm not even a grain of sand on the beach in the whole sheme of things no wonder i feel so alone i'd think.

what did i do? I quit going there with my mind. there was never any good place to end up with those kinds of thoughts. Oh they might be true I dunno. But i chose to stop giving those kidns of thoughts so much attention and started focusing on things like well i might be friggen useless but for some stupid reason my kids looking up at me smiling. I started trying to find small purposes for my life each day even if it was a simple conversation i had with a stranger while out on a walk i'd think well maybe thats why i'm still here? heck do i know.

Your still here for a reason. I get it tho I got no local friends and i feel like the few I have online i'm just a burden too. Its hard you want people to be your rock and to offer you some unwaivering support and those people are not always there and even if they are EVEN if they are it seems they wont allow you to toss in the towell while they shoulder your burden so you can get some rest.

I've also had the congratulations your normal from docs and such. when i know deep down there is something wrong but no one will listen.

Like i said try not to give these thoughts too much attention I found all they did was drag me down and make me feel crappy. Maybe there is some resolution to them if i kept thinking about them. I'm not sure. But i got tired of feeling crappy about it so I chose to think about the weather or anything other then them.