Soberintexas007

Tonight is his "Friday" as he puts it since he has tomorrow and Monday off. He called and asked if I bought him any beer. I said, "No." He said good because his buddy bought him a beer (when I say beer, I mean 24 ounce beer by the way, so I guess we are talking 2). He was just making sure that I did not have to leave our apartment to go out and buy him beer since he was already getting one, which I thought was considerate. He even told me to not bother getting him food since he would come home and make sausages for the both of us.

Anyways, this is my point. My husband has called me several times today, and is a sweet, nice man. But he suffers from alcoholism. It does not go through his head that he is being insensitive or inconsiderate by drinking in front of me when I am trying to abstain because his mind is focused on having a beer. And I don't blame him for this, as I am an alcoholic too and have put alcohol over other things as well, so I understand.

I am choosing to be around this behavior, that is my choice. And I believe that I have it within myself to be able to abstain even though he still drinks. Now if he ever was to drink too much and become verbally belligerent, I would let him know that if he drinks anymore, I will leave the situation and probably go to my parent's house. It is his choice then to either continue drinking or stop, but the choice is his.

I am not out to control my husband's drinking, as that will only bring upon resentment by him. Hopefully these next two days I will be able to abstain from drinking around him, which would be a first. But I am also not going to beat myself up if I am unable to accomplish this goal and drink.

I am writing this thread just to give some of you an idea about where I am at with this situation, as I do appreciate the feedback that I continue to get here on SR.

polaris

We arent all violent and abusive...in fact one of the reason that drove many of us to drinking was because it made us more friendly and sociable.

That doesnt change the fact that its a terrible habit with countless other consequences, the end of the road makes no distinctions between the nice ones and the ugly ones.

He is negligent because he is a drunk. Im honestly not sure what course of action to recommend you though, Im sorry to say.

lesly

I can only tell you in my experience that it only gets worse. Very selfish attitude. And if you are trying to be a better person and he does not support you. that's wrong.

Soberintexas007

I can understand where you are coming from, as it does seem very selfish on his part. But that is what the disease is about, but I don't necessarily think it is about him. As my therapist stated today, sometimes active addicts really don't have a choice in the midst of their addiction. A friend of mine told me that he chose alcohol over me when he started to drink again several months ago after like 18 days of sobriety. But I am not so sure about that. I don't think he is thinking in his mind that he is choosing between alcohol and me. He loves me, AND the disease wants the booze.

Anyways, so guess what happened? He comes in the door all upset because he broke the beer on the way out of work and had to clean it all up. He was all upset. He wanted to go to the store, and I asked him if he really needed to drink tonight? He said that it is his Friday. I told him he should not have dropped the beer then (oops, should not have said this, as he did not like this, LOL). Anyways, he was all moody in the kitchen until I finally said if he wants to go, then go. He became all happy and nice to me. On his way out, he asked if I wanted anything. I told him no thank you, and he said I must be trying to be a good girl. I said I am trying.

And the saga continues...