calla12

So I've been drunk for 4 days and my body hurts. I know I should stop but every time I run out I always end up going back to the store for more, its like I'm scared to go through the withdrawal. I know what triggers me to drink, and I've posted about this here before. It's extremely expensive to live in the city that I live in, so once a month I go and see a man for a few hours who pays my rent. He's very nice and respectful and in no way am I in danger but it doesn't make me feel happy to have to do that, and it always always leads to an alcohol binge afterwards. I almost feel like I can't really complain because my parents pay for my tuition and occasionally some of my other bills if I need it, but I would feel way too guilty to ever ask them for anything more. I've applied for literally hundreds of jobs and haven't found anything yet (with a college diploma and three years in to a university degree), I guess all I can do is keep trying, it's very frustrating though. Because it's summer now and I'm only taking about half of my normal course load I find myself sitting around at home a lot which leads to drinking. I guess I just wanted to vent about that.

Hope2014

Hi Calla,
Sorry to hear that you are suffering. It seems that spending time with the landlord stresses you out to the point of drinking. Is it really worth the free rent? Could you move and get into a situation with roommates to keep the rent down?

Dee74

There must be ways to get the rent that don't eat at your soul like that Calla...keep searching on the job front.

Drinking can cost a bit too - I used to drink my rent money away then exist on subsistence rations so I could make the rent.

It's no way to live.

D

zjw

is it possible at all to move to a less expensive area? I hate to say it but times are tough these days your not alone people are struggling like crazy. I dont have a good answer for you but I know booze isnt going to make life any better. and if money is already tight spending on booze isnt gonna help matters. I used to think my only fun could be found in a bag of dope or booze and that i couldnt afford anything else. And in all honesty even now sober theres an awful lot i cant afford to do. but I've found other things to entertain me and make me feel better about myself that dont cost much or anything at all.

hang in there. try for a sober day at first see how it goes.

calla12

I guess my other question is, are there AA meetings that don't take place in churches? Or some non-denominational equivalent to AA? I think it would be nice to take part in some sort of support group but the religious aspect is really not for me. Thanks

FeenixxRising

There are a number of secular recovery groups calla: SMART Recovery, LifeRing, Secular Organizations for Sobriety (SOS). Unfortunately, these secular groups are not as prevalent as AA. However, since you live in a large city, you may find at least one of these organizations in your geographical area.

Check this thread for more information and links: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

paulokes

Plus don't let the church thing fool you.

AA is "like" going to church for me, except we swear and smoke and drink too much coffee instead of praying and singing

P