Easilypleased

I was wondering if anyone else can relate to this. Firstly, I am sober just over two years and I'm happier than I ever have been. There is one thing that niggles me now and then though. My lack of excitement, particularly regarding holidays/vacations. I have a holiday/vacation booked, in fact I'm leaving tomorrow, in the past I've always been mega excited, mainly due to the fact that I would be drinking in the airport, by the pool, in restaurants by the sea (you get the picture). It was the thing I was most looking forward to, the anticipation of drinking. Inevitably the drinking always ended badly when I was actually out there, in fact the last time I was away drinking they wouldn't let me back on the plane to get home so once again it ended in disaster. So, I realise how bad drinking is for me but that doesn't help with the lack of excitement. I was just wondering if anyone else out there feels the same about these things. I know there's lots of other, more interesting things to get exited about but for whatever reason I just don't get that buzz anymore.

Berrybean

I used to get mega-excited as well - then complain that things were an anti-climax when reality didn't meet with my childish expectations.

I think this is the better way. It's easy to forget those downs that were the flip-side to the ups, but if I can't have one without the other, I know that for me the downers are too high a price to pay for the uppers.

Hope you feel better soon - and I bet you'll really enjoy that holiday - and get to enjoy the memories as well x

zjw

yeah i dont get excited much because if htings dont go through the let down is terrible so i've trained myself to not even get excited most times. But now sometimes i will get excited and here is the kicker I do not like that feeling. i dont really like that feeling of anticipation. to me its anxiety makes me feel anxious about the upcoming thing Sure its a positive form of anxiousness but i still find it very uncomfortable.

For example you hear about how i cant sleep i'm too excited to sleep. Yeah no thanks I hate that feeling I'd rather get some stinking sleep etc..

Easilypleased

For example you hear about how i cant sleep i'm too excited to sleep. Yeah no thanks I hate that feeling I'd rather get some stinking sleep etc..[/QUOTE]

Haha, yes I see your point!

Easilypleased

zjw

my wife gets mad that i dont get excited about stuff much. I think its just all the years of getting screwed i dont like when i'm all excited then the rug gets yanked out so I somehow dont get excited much anymore.

I think not drinking tho the peeks and valleys of life start to flatten some as well too. drinking i was always one extreme to the next.

Iconoclastic

One of the major reasons why many alcoholics become addicted is due to depression that most are unaware they've been suffering since childhood. Their unawareness is due to covering up their feelings with activities related to people, places and things.

In my case, I was a talented athlete that tended to participate in extreme sports, including long distance running (not jogging). I became addicted to the feelings I got from running. It varied, but at 9 to 11 miles when I got through the "wall" of pain, I would get a euphoric high, which was very addictive. In 1971 science discovered the human body's natural pain killer beta endorphins which is 80 times stronger than heroin. This explained my euphoric high and the reasons why as a child I was drawn to extreme sports, one reason was it relieved my depression I was unaware I was living with.

Psychotherapy helped me understand this. Alcohol was just one of the ways I relieved my depression. Take alcohol away (abstinence), and the depression remains which sometimes appeared to be boredom or lack of excitement.

Nero427

That's my wife and I's problem. Everything we did had alcohol involved. Eating out? Drink. Watching movies? Drink. Visiting friends? Drink. Vacation/cruise/day trip? Drink. Friday night? Really Drink.
Take away the alcohol and all the activities are still enjoyable, but it's just not the same. But it beats the roller coaster we used to live.

zjw

I run a lot and feel a lot better doing so. Sometimes I refer to it as my "fix" its like a drug really. I just assume its a healthy choice vs drinking would be an unhealthy choice. But it makes me wonder is there still unerlying depression i should deal with? yeah probably! but I run to deal with it etc.. I imagine no matter what i'll always seem some kinda coping mechanism cake running beer i duno i'll always need some sort of outlet.

Gottalife

The first two years were exciting in themselves for me because that is when all the major changes of recovery happened, and many of the big discoveries made. I remember thinking in my third year " well I'm sober, now what?"

There was still plenty to come. I developed some outside interests, got a job that was incredibly exciting, got into sailing, hunting, a little bit of travelling and generally recovered a good part of my lost youth. Alongside that, I deepened my involvement in the AA program.

I do remember one occasion where I thought that a drink would have been nice. We were at this hotel in the north of the country on a warm tropical night. It was a business function and we were in this flash bar with a lot of the movers and shakers of the town. It was a wonderful atmosphere, the type of thing I had always imagined proper drinking was all about. I was feeling that sense of ease and comfort without the alcohol. I instantly realised that if I had a drink, I wouldn't be there in the first place.

Not only had the obsession about controlling and enjoying my drinking been removed, it had been replaced with something infinitely better.

Soberpotamus

That's great stuff

AllLiesAndJest

I'm on holiday in the UK now, and have just enjoyed a pleasant evening with friends, eating out at a restaurant. One friend enjoyed a couple of locally brewed beers, while our two female guests enjoyed wine with their meal. I stuck to tonic water (again!). Three-and-a-half years since I have taken a drink, and life is good. But boy do I miss the pleasures of enjoying an English beer or a glass of wine in such social circumstances, and especially when on holiday. Not sure there's an answer ... just feeling very short-changed at the moment

zjw

I get that! but i always play the fantasy out a little bit further what happens after the first one second one the next morning etc... where will that one drink lead? Nvrmind I'll just order an ice water .

Aellyce

So not so Easilypleased after all?

What kind of vacations do you go on these days? Are they similar types of places and activities as in your old drinking times, just now without alcohol? If so, I am not surprised you don't feel excited... My suggestion is that you try quite different things, spending a few days in a way that is new to you, environments you have not typically visit, different activities etc. If you are leaving tomorrow, the place is probably set, but you could perhaps still try to tweak the program a bit?

GroundhogDay

Exactly. I can think of a lot of exciting things to do. Summer: scuba diving, white-water rafting, rock climbing, zip lining, hiking a volcano. Winter: downhill skiing,....well, more skiing.

I know I've planned a great vacation when my husband says "you want for us to do WHAT.???"

Berrybean

When me and my partner discuss non-drinking excursions we always look at each other like that (He's still drinking btw, so for him, these are just things to cram in before he hurtles back to base to get settled in the pub). He actually suggested visiting a battle site the other day 'like we did when we were first together'. Ha bloody ha. Like I'm going to do that now I actually know that (a) most battle sites in the UK are just a field. Sometimes with an info board in the corner, and (b) He's not taking me there in the hope of some outdoor 'activity'. He wants to sit and look at the battle site / field. GAH!!!!!

I actually did get really excited the other day. It was about the reopening of Dreamland in Margate which they're rebuilding with all the most popular rides from the 1920's - 1980's (the opening night has all the rides open for the first time, as well as bands on) but then I realised that I can't get the time off work, and we'd never get there in time after I finish. I actually thought I was going to cry, I felt do disappointed. Anyway - it did strike me at the time, that this was the first time that I'd felt excited like that for years. Shiny eyed; bumpy heart; unregulated voice levels; smiley kind of excited. Then I wondered if I was responding to old triggers. In my teens a fairground didn't just mean rides after all. It meant alcohol for a start off. And it meant sex (or at lest sexual attraction and the possibility of sex). No wonder it was exciting. I suspect that Dreamland will have employed plenty of staff to watch out for middle aged people trying to relive their misspent youths - not that it was on the cards for me anyway lol.

Anyway - I will go to Dreamland in the summer holidays. I now have some sober friends to go with in the holidays after all, so I don't need to drag my OH away from his battle ground (field with a notice board) or pub to have him follow me round rolling his eyes while I go on the rides on my own. I'll be interested to see if I feel 'let down' or if it really was just the alcohol /sex triggers that sparked that excitement.

(Oh well. Just off to pray over this battle ground resentment that I've just realised has been quietly festering away like a little cold-sore!)