3 weeks today
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
3 weeks today
Something just awful happened at work today and I wanted to go to a bar on the bike ride home but did not. I am still really horribly upset and my boyfriend knows it and is more interested in his phone than paying me any attention. I really wish he would help me get my mind off it but he does not care. Must be nice. I am sick of having to spell things out.
It would be mind blowing if he just once ever had a clue as to what I might be going through and how to be supportive.
It would be mind blowing if he just once ever had a clue as to what I might be going through and how to be supportive.
pray for strength
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 2,414
Hey Sleepie, sorry about your bad day as well. Nice job riding past the bar though. 3 weeks of learning to reach for something else around you or within you other than drunkenness is pretty fantastic. Hope your night is more restful for you. 
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,332
Men are notoriously dense. They just are. Life is much easier when you do spell it out to them and tell them exactly what you need. Trust me. I have been married 23 years and my husband still doesn't pick up on subtle clues. But if I tell him exactly what I need he will move heaven and earth for me.
Congrats on three weeks.
Congrats on three weeks.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,426
I'm so sorry you had a rough day at work and boyfriend was his (usual?) insensitive self. . .
However, every time you "beat" one of these tough days and stay sober your
sober muscle gets stronger and you gain confidence and power.
Three weeks is fantastic--what can you do to support yourself right now
since BF isn't helping?
However, every time you "beat" one of these tough days and stay sober your
sober muscle gets stronger and you gain confidence and power.
Three weeks is fantastic--what can you do to support yourself right now
since BF isn't helping?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
congrats on the 3 weeks!.
Being a man i need things spelled out for me i'm absolutly terrible at taking the hint. not that its any kind of excuse i guess but maybe its not htat he doesnt care he just needs to be slapped upside the head with it?
Work is something else I'm coming up on almost 4 years in that timeframe i've fixed so many things that where wrong with my life. so much has improved and then theres my job... the proverbial thorn in my side i've had it with this job since a couple years before i got sober. Heck I even quit this place years ago and was dumb enough to go back ::facepalm:: I keep looking in my case I've had a few interviews over the years and nothings come of any of it. I feel so trapped at times.
Hang in there. Things do get better.
Being a man i need things spelled out for me i'm absolutly terrible at taking the hint. not that its any kind of excuse i guess but maybe its not htat he doesnt care he just needs to be slapped upside the head with it?
Work is something else I'm coming up on almost 4 years in that timeframe i've fixed so many things that where wrong with my life. so much has improved and then theres my job... the proverbial thorn in my side i've had it with this job since a couple years before i got sober. Heck I even quit this place years ago and was dumb enough to go back ::facepalm:: I keep looking in my case I've had a few interviews over the years and nothings come of any of it. I feel so trapped at times.
Hang in there. Things do get better.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
I would be happy enough if he could just STOP texting me that he's out for a walk, or shopping- in the middle of the work day that he gets paid TONS of money for since he works at home, while I am stuck inside for ten hour shifts at 6 bucks an hour. He is a spoiled man who has only ever gotten to do things as he likes, on his terms and has had ZERO challenges or hardships in life that were not his own doing. Did I ask for a neurological disorder and effed up grey mater? NO. But I it will color my life and affect my income until I die. I don't need to hear from BF how great their day is because it just rubs my face in it. And then he just does not give a s*** that I am about to have a breakdown.
It is going to be VERY difficult biking past everything and NOT picking up anything on the way to work.
BF was helping me out with groceries... then the other day he complains he might not be able to retire at 50 if stuff keeps happening like helping his sister out- who was recently diagnosed with acute leukemia. Seriously, NOBODY I know even dreams of retiring at 50. SO sorry you can't just have an entire life that involves doing very little for tons of money. And meanwhile I am trying to figure out how to pay for food, dr appointments, rent, and my shoes are falling apart- as for summer clothes lol- yeah a few things from the thrift store and no shirts so I look like s*** . I look poor and ugly, just like I am.
Honestly there were many times I was happier drinking alone. At least I didn't care about being poor, ugly and dumb.
It is going to be VERY difficult biking past everything and NOT picking up anything on the way to work.
BF was helping me out with groceries... then the other day he complains he might not be able to retire at 50 if stuff keeps happening like helping his sister out- who was recently diagnosed with acute leukemia. Seriously, NOBODY I know even dreams of retiring at 50. SO sorry you can't just have an entire life that involves doing very little for tons of money. And meanwhile I am trying to figure out how to pay for food, dr appointments, rent, and my shoes are falling apart- as for summer clothes lol- yeah a few things from the thrift store and no shirts so I look like s*** . I look poor and ugly, just like I am.
Honestly there were many times I was happier drinking alone. At least I didn't care about being poor, ugly and dumb.
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 453
Many, many congratulations on 3 weeks.
I'm so sorry for the difficulty you're going through. I'm so glad you're here, talking about it. You'll get through this. Please keep reaching out.
I wish I could leave a more thoughtful reply, but I'm headed out to work. Just wanted to say that no matter how bad you feel now, give it time and you'll feel better and can make decisions about everything else...
Hang in there. Divine is smiling down upon you.
I'm so sorry for the difficulty you're going through. I'm so glad you're here, talking about it. You'll get through this. Please keep reaching out.
I wish I could leave a more thoughtful reply, but I'm headed out to work. Just wanted to say that no matter how bad you feel now, give it time and you'll feel better and can make decisions about everything else...
Hang in there. Divine is smiling down upon you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
I hope she is CupofJoe cause I sure need a fabulous cup of something right now!
I am so mad today!
And PMS too. So I always want to drink during that time. We're all adults here, I trust you can stand the info.
Made it to work without buying anything.
I am so mad today!
And PMS too. So I always want to drink during that time. We're all adults here, I trust you can stand the info.
Made it to work without buying anything.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
Originally Posted by sleepie 
I would be happy enough if he could just STOP texting me that he's out for a walk, or shopping- in the middle of the work day that he gets paid TONS of money for since he works at home, while I am stuck inside for ten hour shifts at 6 bucks an hour. He is a spoiled man who has only ever gotten to do things as he likes, on his terms and has had ZERO challenges or hardships in life that were not his own doing. Did I ask for a neurological disorder and effed up grey mater? NO. But I it will color my life and affect my income until I die. I don't need to hear from BF how great their day is because it just rubs my face in it. And then he just does not give a s*** that I am about to have a breakdown.
It is going to be VERY difficult biking past everything and NOT picking up anything on the way to work.
BF was helping me out with groceries... then the other day he complains he might not be able to retire at 50 if stuff keeps happening like helping his sister out- who was recently diagnosed with acute leukemia. Seriously, NOBODY I know even dreams of retiring at 50. SO sorry you can't just have an entire life that involves doing very little for tons of money. And meanwhile I am trying to figure out how to pay for food, dr appointments, rent, and my shoes are falling apart- as for summer clothes lol- yeah a few things from the thrift store and no shirts so I look like s*** . I look poor and ugly, just like I am.
Honestly there were many times I was happier drinking alone. At least I didn't care about being poor, ugly and dumb.
It is going to be VERY difficult biking past everything and NOT picking up anything on the way to work.
BF was helping me out with groceries... then the other day he complains he might not be able to retire at 50 if stuff keeps happening like helping his sister out- who was recently diagnosed with acute leukemia. Seriously, NOBODY I know even dreams of retiring at 50. SO sorry you can't just have an entire life that involves doing very little for tons of money. And meanwhile I am trying to figure out how to pay for food, dr appointments, rent, and my shoes are falling apart- as for summer clothes lol- yeah a few things from the thrift store and no shirts so I look like s*** . I look poor and ugly, just like I am.
Honestly there were many times I was happier drinking alone. At least I didn't care about being poor, ugly and dumb.
I dont understand folks like that. If i was wealthy id' be poor because i'd like to think i'd end up just giving it all away all the time.
"there is great wealth in poverty and great poverty in wealth" --mooji
Your boyfriend sounds like someone i know. Same kinda thing god forbid there perfect plan get rocked a little helping someone out. Sounds selfish to me. But let his problem be his problem if that makes any sense. I guess he's under no obligation to do crap for anyone just like the rest of us. Its his choice not too etc.. It can stink sometimes tho.
"I look poor and ugly, just like I am."
We are what we are. People dont always like how I dress and well smell or what i have to say. It wouldnt matter if i was friggen fabio there will STILL be people who dislike me. I am what I am you are what you are.
Try and be happy and comfortable in your own skin tho. Some of the poorest folks are the happiest and richest and some of the ugliest people are the most beautiful.
hang in there.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
oh and unless a bottle of booze has a gajillion dollars in it and the meaning of life i dont think its going to do any good at helping your issues.
it kinda stunk in the begining for me becuase the ONE thing i wanted to turn too "booze" i couldnt because it was not going to solve anything. I felt sorta trapped till it eased up.
it kinda stunk in the begining for me becuase the ONE thing i wanted to turn too "booze" i couldnt because it was not going to solve anything. I felt sorta trapped till it eased up.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Ok. Let me explain about this thing at work. It tapped into one of my greatest fears and involved the bathroom. I have always had some OCD but now I am losing it again because of this. My OCD got about 100 times worse after I dated a man who is a lying, cheating, sociopath and WHOOR. He ruined me and my health forever, I was unwanted garbage for years and drink was my only friend. Because of this man I suffered not only medical bills that I could not afford, but had a part of my femininity ripped away forever- I can never get that back. I can never get back the years of solitude and loneliness that destroyed me either, all because of a man who thought more of one organ on his body and his own ego than my entire life and health. He further disgraced me by refusing to own up to it when I located and spoke with at least one of the women he was cheating on me with. Wouldn't even do me the dignity of admitting what he did. It damaged me permanently. And ever since, my fears and anxiety have been tenfold.
I will never get over it, physically or mentally. He ruined me for life and I cannot even enjoy the relationship I have now and feel I have to settle for whoever will accept me, because this person ruined me. Forever. For the rest of my life.
I will never get over it, physically or mentally. He ruined me for life and I cannot even enjoy the relationship I have now and feel I have to settle for whoever will accept me, because this person ruined me. Forever. For the rest of my life.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
if you can do something nice for yourself. love yourself some today ya know. If you cant seem to do that do something nice for someone else. either way it'll help you feel a little better.
I hope what happened doesnt ruin the rest of your life sounds like his nonsense isnt worth that.
I hope what happened doesnt ruin the rest of your life sounds like his nonsense isnt worth that.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Indiana
Posts: 118
Wow, I didn't even realize that you dated my ex? He, too, was a terrible person who said/did things to me that have all but destroyed any self confidence that I once had. However, I have decided to no longer allow him to "get to me" anymore. We split up a couple of years ago and it has taken this long for me to even realize that he is the one with the problem... not me. Something tells me that the same is true with you.
He, too, was a terrible person who said/did things to me that have all but destroyed any self confidence that I once had. However, I have decided to no longer allow him to "get to me" anymore. We split up a couple of years ago and it has taken this long for me to even realize that he is the one with the problem... not me. Something tells me that the same is true with you.
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