sleepie

Anxious yet tired, that's me today.
I hope that I am posting about how great life is in 3 months when I meet my 90 day count down goal... Also going ahead on the benzo taper. It will be a long road.
I hate how time slows down and everything is just so boring.
I keep jumping from one thing to the next trying to get interested in something and can't.
mostly I just want to hang out with my boyfriend but he is busy.
I don't want to be alone but there's nobody to hang out with. I am alone much of the time.
Please don't discourage me by telling me life does not get perfect and you still have problems etc, after you quit drinking. I know all that. And I have been through some s*** that would make you ill. I know about the ugliness of life and unfairness and cruelty.
Just impart a little hope if you can.

Dee74

If we didn't feel better from how we felt those first few weeks I think few of us would still be here Sleepie.

It will get better

D

GnikNus

If you stick with sobriety, you will feel entirely different in a few months time. At 6 months in and the sober life has already given me far more than drinking ever did. The boring phase ends. The sober, deliberately-lived life makes drinking pale in comparison.

sleepie

I seem to be very sensitive to heat as well. I am hoping that improves after long term abstinence.

brynn

I'm right behind GnikNus at 5.5 months and he's absolutely right! I have more energy, more interests, and a love for life that I didn't have a few months ago!

One of the big things that helped me was getting into a different mindset. I had to allow myself to become open to the possibility that there was indeed a really good life waiting for me in sobriety.....and there was! Don't give up before you see the changes, sleepie!

sleepie

I always feel better after I take the benzos, even on my taper schedule. I try to stave off taking them 1 to three hours daily until I can take them at night and sleep. I wish there was stuff I could do to get the GABA going in my brain without drugs. effing drugs, best and worst thing that ever happened to me.

sleepie

Thanks people, I have not had months of sobriety for many years- so it's a whole different ball game. I have to just make it by hook or crook. I was a daily binger for well over 10 years, so I am hoping I still have a chance at normalcy.

sleepie

I do feel that positive support can only help though. It's good emotionally and I think it then affects your physical health. So thanks guys

huntingtontx

You are doing great sleepie, and you are right. It does get better. At least sober if I do have a problem I can figure out how to handle it. Hang in there.

paulokes

Things have changed, on the inside, that I never thought could change Sleepie...that's why I'm still here.

Sober living surprises me because I feel good in ways I couldn't imagine and I like simple little things that I never thought I would like

Hang in there

P

least

It gets better, really it does. Sometimes slowly, but change will come.

Soberpotamus

I took GABA supplements the entire first year. I used a supplement called Theanine Serene. I don't need them anymore but they helped. It wasn't like a benzo but I do believe they helped me when my mood swings were at the worst. And exercise can help to get your neurotransmitters going too, btw.

zjw

for what its worth i took a gaba supplement in early sobriety it seemed to help a lot till it didnt anymore.

try to enjoy the boring slowness when you can it can be a nice change of pace. Life will still have plenty of excitement all on its own some you wont want. I'd rather boring and slow then problems and drama.

CupofJoe

It will get better.

I'm looking forward to the time when you look back and post about what changes you've gone through. It takes a lot of courage to keep going and change, so be proud of yourself!

sleepie

Thanks people I am looking forward to that as well CupofJoe. The thing is about being bored yet unable to focus is, I just then start to worry. I cannot divert my attention.

sleepie

I did not know there was a GABA supplement...interesting...
Ate a little dinner, boyfriend (aka Jake Gyllenhall) is coming over to watch a movie.
Tomorrow it's back to work.
I see ice cream in my immediate future... thanks people for getting me over another bump

zjw

I dunno if its a boredome thing or just a me thing but yeah I get it i can somehow alway seem to find something to worry about. My mind has a mind of its own. I kinda gotta wrestle with my thoughts and think NO NOT NOW i'm not worrying about that now.

I try and tell myself I'll cross that bridge when i get to it. That sorta thing when i worry. It helps.

In time you get better at battleing the worries and anxiety and depression etc..

The thing with all of this and all of our symptoms I've found its not like just 1 thing caused it all. Sure booze in my case played a HUGE role. But along the way i picked up lots of other horrible habits and got more confused about what i should and shouldnt do and how i should and shouldnt live etc..

When i sobered up my mind was like a birds nest full of filth. I had to pick things apart and start some house keeping basicly. I had to try and eat better and get some better habits etc.... Then the total picture starts to come together more and more.

Theres not enough time for it to all happen over night and the journey there is important. Its hard to enjoy the ride when your in the thick of it and your attentions focused on a worry say or whatever else.

zjw

yeah as for the gaba I never heard of such a thing. till one day i read something about alcoholics and gaba etc.. and was like gee i wonder if there is something i can take for this?

I went through phases with various supplements some helped some did not some worked then did not. I think my body needed this and that along the way. I think i was severly malnourished when i sobered up after all the years of abuse.

I think I've been in the dark cause I had never heard of gaba till i read that tho.

I also read another book called "the vitamin cure for alcoholism" lots of good information in there and one could simply eat foods that contain that nutrition to get to the same place but the science behind it all seemed to make a lot of sense.

All the years of drinking takes a toll on us. I read one doctor talked about the affects of alcohol on the brain and he likened it to setting off a nuclear bomb in the brain and then went on to explain all the nitty gritty science of what happens i was like OMGOSH booze does all that too us??(!!!!

Theres some pretty interesting stuff out there to read about on it.